I’m never getting a pet again!

[Whynotmakeittwo]

I have a 13 year old dog and now that she is old I worry about her all the time, she has cataracts now and is blind and her black fur is almost completely grey.

I am dreading the day that we lose her and know that it’s going to be extremely painful for us. Last night, we had to take her to the emergency vets and I thought that was it. Luckily she is fine now! But the emotions that I felt last night, I don’t want to go through again. I feel like having pets is so much pain. Of course they bring you joy too, and there’s more happy times than sad, but I don’t think I could put myself through this again. She had a lump on her paw a few years ago and again, I was worried sick. I know we probably don’t have long left with her and it makes me so sad, I don’t know how we will cope without her (obviously we will, and that sounds dramatic, but if you have a dog you know what I mean). Lots of people get dogs straight after they lose one because they can’t handle not having a dog in the house and feel it’s too empty etc. but I honestly don’t know if I could cope with the worry and sadness again and the hole that they eventually leave.

It is very upsetting when they go isn't it? We lost our oldest cat (aged 17) a couple of years ago, and we asked the vet if we could have her cremated, but they said she will have to be taken away and it could be several weeks.

We couldn't let her go. 😢 We brought her home and buried her in the garden. Just at the side of the house (more towards the front,) in the sunshine, slightly under the bushes where she used to lie in the Spring and Summer months. It was comforting to us knowing she was there, resting in peace and tranquillity, in the place she loved for so many years.

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through @Whynotmakeittwo

I have five dogs currently (three fosters, two my own). My eldest dog is 11 and when she goes, I know I'll get a new dog asap (once I've vetted a breeder etc) because I need something to take my mind off the loss and to funnel my grief into and to focus on. Even if I'm not ready, the alternative is sitting there and festering whilst I miss my dog - because that is what I'm like and I know from bitter experience that waiting does not make me cope any better. But, it's a very individual process and what works for one person really doesn't for another.

We do it to ourselves, because of the unconditional love we get in return. It makes the heartache worth it in the end.

We lost our old boy a couple of months ago. It was heartbreaking. Someone said to me 'the first dog is the dog that gives you so much it's the reason for the second dog'.

We will get another one but not yet.

I'm glad she's ok.

I am so sorry I know exactly what you are saying we’re done this twice and the last one was 5 and half years ago 😔
i get it … please know that you’re not alone in feeling like this … we didn’t get any large pets for a while after losing our beloved Bichon … Pebbles
we had a couple of rescue budgies and then when they passed we got our Maisie … she’s beeen the healing touch we need but they never ever replace they add to the love and follow in their paw steps

your baby knows you love them … you will help them without realising it. Its a whole different subject but from my experience it’s not the end
my heart goes out to you with the anxiety ..it’s all consuming but believe me your Furbaby will be helped by you whatever and they will forever be grateful to you

I feel the same. We had three oldies pass away in the space of six years and were totally wrung out and traumatised by it. We've been without a dog for a year now and I can't see me getting another (though DH probably would). Alongside the grief, there's almost a weird sense of relief that the all the worry is gone. It was all too much.

Our dog is almost 15 and I find myself getting anxious at times wondering how dd and ds will cope with the loss. For now she is as fit as a fiddle, incredible really that out and about people think she's a young pup in comparison to their own 8 or 9 year old dogs. I suppose the worry is the price we pay for the way dogs worm their way into our lives and hearts.

I grew up with a dog and we lost her when I was about 9 (black with a white breast and a mix of just about every breed)
She was my sister,I could tell her anything and she never judged me
She taught me to walk (my siblings and I would grab her fur,she'd stand up and start walking-wed move with her),she taught me how to behave around dogs,she taught me unconditional love (abusive parents)
She also taught me never to paint her nails red as you WILL get into trouble
I'm 46 now and still feel teary about losing her

My friends have a dog,and without that dog,I would never have met my partner (we 'met' online and I fell in love with 'his' dog)
He's our everything-hes the most special dog I've ever met-in his fur,he has a white line on his face and a white 'button' on his neck-i love pressing it and telling him 'beep beep'
It's 'our' thing-He sits and let's me do it
(We often have him to stay while his owners are on holiday and I love it when he gets into our bed-his claws in my arse,not so much)
He's getting old now and even thought he's not mine,I'll be in pieces when he leaves us

Ds rang me one day and said he was getting himself a dog from a rescue and he'd seen one 'I like the look of'
I begged him not to as he was a typical 'lad about town' and wasn't mature enough to own one
He ignored me and got him anyway
It's the best thing he ever did (bar giving me my first gd)
The dog is our everything-hes bombproof,lazy,loving,intelligent,loyal and amazing in everyway (and can guilt you into anything with his side-eye)
We adore him and are lucky enough to have him if ds goes on holiday

I'm dreading the day we lose them both-ive already had the conversation with ds about 'a week early is better than a day too late' and 'grief is the price we pay for love'

I've also asked him not to rush into getting another dog,and he's agreed that he'll know when the time is right (I'm not a controlling arse,ds will do what's right for him but trusts my advice)

I have never had a dog but the last month of my cat’s life was very stressful and if I didn’t already have another cat it would have taken me a while to feel ready for the commitment again, and I absolutely love cats.

But I would have done eventually as I can only remember now how lovely and what brilliant company he was.

I know exactly how you feel OP, the love we share with them is so wonderful but losing them is as hard as losing a person for some.

My mum was adamant she wasn’t getting another cat after losing her 19 year old cat that she got as an 8 week old kitten. After a few months she got a rescue cat who was rescued from awful circumstances and actually she and my dad now work for the charity DCat came from. So losing their previous pet has in fact taken them in a new direction in retirement and another cat has got a second chance in life which I think is lovely.

I think it was Paul O’Grady who said to love an animal is to invite heartbreak into your life. I always say I won’t have any more but then I end up going on rescue sites and the inevitable happens. I do dread losing my dog though, he’s particularly special.

Aww my dog is Skye. I call her Skye Pie, Skyzy. Pipes, Pipey. My sister calls her Skye Beau. She answers to all. 🤣.
I bet you can’t wait to to get your new puppy. If you’re getting him/her in October am I right in thinking they’re only newborn squishy puppies.
RIP to your beautiful Skye.

Aw OP it's really sad thinking about when the time comes and afterwards. I'm dreading it myself, my cat is 17. She's now got arthritis and it makes me so upset thinking one day she won't be with me anymore. I know I'll be inconsolable. My children keep asking for another cat or maybe a dog after she passes but I don't know how I'll feel, maybe one day.
I lost a dog when I was younger from cancer and I still miss him terribly to this day, nearly 20 years ago!

I've said we aren't having any more animals after our cat goes (age 11 so probably ages yet). I lost our first cat to either an infection or poisoning. From symptoms to passing away was a couple of hours it broke my heart. I had him from a kitten and he was my company whilst DH worked shifts (pre kid days). We then adopted two cats, lost one of them 2 years ago from cancer.

We have young kids and people tell us that a dog would be great company for them to grow up with. Or Guinea pigs and hamsters, I can't deal with the heartache.

We thought our older dog was on the way out, she was lying about all day, seemed to have no get up and go, then we got a puppy and she got a new lease of life. She's 13 now and I've just noticed a lump under her armpit so need to get that seen to, hoping it's just a cyst. But the reason I got a puppy was to kind of ease the pain of when she does go, so I have another to love.

I swore never yo get a dog after my beautiful alsation died. Unfortunately my son really wanted a cat (he's 18) so we now have a cat. He went missing for 7 weeks recently (he's back now) but oh my God I never want to go through that again either!

For me personally, the grief - and it is intense, I'm still missing my boy dreadfully after a year and we have a new dog - is still out weighted by the joy.

But my next door neighbour some 30 years older told me he's found himself in a place where he just doesn't want the loss again, and so won't get another dog. And I can see how you might get there too.

I hear you OP. Ours are only 3 and 5 and every so often I have a little cry thinking about when they won't be here any longer!

In fact, I saw a TikTok of a girl bawling her eyes out over her dog dying and then the camera pans round and the dog is sat there on the sofa, perfectly fit and healthy just looking at her like "what are you crying for?!". It's funny but also so real and heartbreaking.

All I can say is to keep cuddling them, caring for them, taking them for walks / to the beach / countryside / wherever is near to you (depending on what they're capable of obviously), giving them lots of treats and fuss, and when that dreaded day comes, you know you did all you can to give your dog the best possible life filled with love. And that's all we can do as dog owners ❤

Still can't get over my cat who passed away 4 years ago. Her death was very traumatising.

We have 2 male cats aged about 7. We will not have any more once these leave us. I can't keep going through the distress. We have lost 6 cats as a couple and other pets from our parents. It's too much and I'm getting too old

My dog died last Summer. It was devastating, it still upsets me, but if my current circumstances were different, I would have another in a heartbeat. For me, the joy, companionship, purpose etc that they give you are more than worth the pain. I have decided that when I am able to have another, I will foster instead as there are so many that need this.

OP I lost my beautiful girl almost a year ago now. I can honestly say it was the worst pain I have experienced. I miss her dreadfully even now and still cry when I see photos or think about her. I won't be getting another dog. The pain is too great. What I do is foster instead. It is so rewarding and gives me that outlet for the love I have to give animals. It is sad saying goodbye but lovely knowing they are going to their forever home and nothing like the pain of them passing away.

She’s 10, but she’s been unwell for some time. She now only walks to the end of the road for a breath of fresh air, if she goes any further I usually end up carrying her home. They’re great little dogs, she’s been amazing but I know the end is coming. She got me through my divorce and has been my companion through it all, I will miss her so much. But I have my other dogs who are amazing too but special for different reasons

I love this quote from him, it's so true.

"Taking any animal into your life will inevitably end in heart ache, but you don't worry about the hangover when you're at the party"

Just a suggestion to people who would like to have pets again but also don't want the full commitment and to be able to travel etc more easily - have you considered fostering? There's a local cat rescue here always looking for fosterers, you can do as little or as much as you want. If you're going on holiday they can stay with another fosterer. It's not for everyone, but very rewarding to help look after cats between difficult situations before they find a new family.

Oh OP, it’s heartbreaking isn’t it? I’ve always had cats and always think I can’t go through it again. But then I do, because I remind myself there’s so many animals that have never experienced a loving home and deserve the chance to have one. I try and put their needs before mine even though I always dread what will inevitably come one day.

For those people who definitely will not have another dog, maybe consider volunteering for The Cinnamon Trusr. I used to dog walk for them and it’s very rewarding ❤️

There’s one guarantee with pet ownership and it’s that you’re going to have your heart broken at some point.

Yet we still do it to ourselves because grief is the price we pay for love! My dog is only 5 but he’s gone almost fully grey around his chops and it makes me sad to think that he is just going to get older and greyer. He’s been a very difficult dog for many reasons, and there have been times where I was thoroughly convinced I hated him! He’s a rescue, very mixed up and traumatised in his little brain but I really do love him, and he loves me in his own funny little way. He isn’t a cuddler, but when he jumps off the sofa to fetch his smelly little teddy and drops it in my lap, I know he wants to share his things with me 🥹 he whines until I scooch over to let him into bed, he won’t let me cuddle him, but he’ll tuck his little cold nose into the back of my knee. I’ll miss all of those little things when he’s gone. Hopefully I still have many years with my strange little creature!