I’m never getting a pet again!

[Whynotmakeittwo]

I have a 13 year old dog and now that she is old I worry about her all the time, she has cataracts now and is blind and her black fur is almost completely grey.

I am dreading the day that we lose her and know that it’s going to be extremely painful for us. Last night, we had to take her to the emergency vets and I thought that was it. Luckily she is fine now! But the emotions that I felt last night, I don’t want to go through again. I feel like having pets is so much pain. Of course they bring you joy too, and there’s more happy times than sad, but I don’t think I could put myself through this again. She had a lump on her paw a few years ago and again, I was worried sick. I know we probably don’t have long left with her and it makes me so sad, I don’t know how we will cope without her (obviously we will, and that sounds dramatic, but if you have a dog you know what I mean). Lots of people get dogs straight after they lose one because they can’t handle not having a dog in the house and feel it’s too empty etc. but I honestly don’t know if I could cope with the worry and sadness again and the hole that they eventually leave.

You know what, they don't compare. Never will.

When we got our current dog....oh it was awful. A bitey, pain in the arse, clumsy, nightmare. I constantly compared her to our last dog. The canine love of my life. Never gave up on her though.

She's so different. Last dog was chill. This one is crazy. Last dog could just have her walk alongside us with no lead. This one would run into traffic to chase a bee. Could give the last dog a doggie roast dinner (oh I loved making her a roast), this one would shit for days if she had human food of any kind.

She doesn't compare. Because she's her own little dog personality. She likes different things, is scared of different things, likes being scratched in different places......

Honestly I'd say to anyone, just because of how strongly I felt about 'never again' when you feel ready go for it. They don't compare because they can't, it's a different dog! You'll never replace the dog you had. But you can make damn sure that there is one dog that's as cherished as it should be. Its a waste having all that doggie love stored and not spending it 🥰

Thanks everyone for your comments. I am in tears. Why do we do this to ourselves

I have more than one dog now because coming home to an empty house was the worst feeling I've ever had and I don't want to risk being dog free. I now have a very elderly and frail pug, and 2 younger dogs, but I have started to talk about the possibility of losing my old lady to prepare my daughter that dogs don't live forever.

Pet owners "get it", none pet owners don't.

Every dog owner I know has swore the same as you. 'They are irreplaceable, I can't face doing this again, the pains too much' etc...

Also every dog owner I know got a new dog when the time finally came dispite swearing down they wouldn't. 'I can give this one a good life, he deserves it, it in previous dogs honor, its not a replacement its a new start' etc...

Swearing you wont do it before hand and not doing it once your faced with the emptiness you're desperate to fill is two completely different things.

Your feelings are completely valid, op, I'm really glad she's alright.

Lost my old girl earlier this year and was blindsided by the intensity of the grief, it'll be some time before I could think about getting another - maybe I never will. But, I reacted differently when I lost my boy before her, the grief was no less painful but got my girl months later because I couldn't bear the emptiness in the house. All that love I had for my boy, I needed somewhere for it go.

Ultimately I think the joy & love pets bring us outweighs the grief but I think there will come I time - and maybe this is it - when I just can't face it anymore.

Sending love x

It doesn't work for everyone but I made a conscious decision when my first dog was about 8 to get another so that the loss would be tempered by the one that was left. When it eventually happened we'd also be 'gifted' a litter of puppies by a stray dog so, whilst it was painful the joy of new life was there.

Since then we've never had less than five dogs - again not practical for most people but it helps you see the circle of life and realise that love is completely limitless.

My dog is also a pug. May I ask how old yours is?

Pets are just like family.

One of our beloved cats took not well when I was 9 months pregnant. He suddenly lost the use of his back legs and was dragging himself across the room, it was awful to see. It was late at night so we had to take him to the emergency vets and we both thought it was just to have him put to sleep as we didn't want him to be suffering, we were crying all the way there.

The vets kept him in and did an operation the next day on his spine (thank god for pet insurance otherwise we would never of be able to afford it). The day after that I was in hospital having our baby boy. I was so worried about the cat and also our other cat who was home alone without his brother for the first time, I kept sending my husband away to phone the vets for updates. The cat came home the day after me and the baby got home from hospital. He recovered so quickly it was amazing.

I was so thankful our baby boy will get to send time with our two beautiful cats and they can watch him grow up and love them and all animals as much as we do.

I’m so glad your cat was okay! What had happened to him to make his back legs suddenly go, did you find out?

Yep, it's bloody awful, losing them. Actually I found losing my first dog harder than losing my dad, much as I loved him, because I didn't see him in every field, feel his loss every minute of the day. She'd been literally by my side for 13 years. But we've had three other dogs since her, and they've all been different. The one that died two years ago - took DH a great deal of time to come to terms with his death. DH was distraught. But we have a gorgeous girl now who is a rescue and they've bonded, thankfully. So never say never! The only reason I wouldn't get another dog is because I want to go travelling. But I've been saying that for years and then we've given in and got one so the travelling gets put off again! My mum felt the same as you and never did get another one. I think the pain is worth it though, hard as it is at the time.

Ive said the same for many years, but life is so empty without animals that I always benefit from them and love each and every one of them.
All my animals are rescues, so I think that while not having one will save me the pain of losing them, it will also mean thatt that rescue dog or cat could well spend much longer miserable in kennels also taking a space that another animal can use.

They've all been unique personalities that I grew to love. I've never regretted getting them.
A new animal brings so much joy it overcomes the bad bitsi, it's all part of the rich tapestry of life, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all ime.

I feel the same op and my ddog is 7. He's our first family pet and adored by us all. He really is part of the family. I will be devastated when he's no longer here, but know I have to accept that dogs just don't live as long as humans.

I don't know if I would get another dog, but I am sure I would leave a gap. I'll probably use that time to do things we won't do know (as we don't want to leave him for more than a week, even with my parents). So I'll take a 3 week long haul holiday.

What springs to mind though is the saying 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before'. Dogs give us so much joy and companionship that I hope I can accept that the joy over numerous years will outweigh the pain.

I have a 15 year old dog who I absolutely adore. I've had her since I was 19 and she brings me so much joy and companionship. I feel sick when I think about her passing and I don't think I could ever do it again either so you're not alone.

The one thing I've been careful to do when getting a new dog or cat after losing one, is to choose ones with different markings or, if a solid colour, a different colour because my memories of the ones I lost are so precious and I don't want them to get muddled with each other.

Possibly, I have a friend though who had a spaniel and when he died replaced with another spaniel and they're really struggling with him. Constantly comparing and not in a good way.

The vet said it was a slipped disc that put compression on his spine. Its very uncommon in cats but happens more in dogs. We have no idea what caused it, maybe he has jumped off something and landed wrong (he has never been graceful like most cats are).

It was amazing how quickly he bounced back. I feel so lucky to still have him ❤

We have had 6 dogs in all. The last three were older rescue dogs and just the loveliest companions you can imagine. The first had been in two rescue places and was sent back by two adopters, yet he was well behaved and loving. We had each of these dogs for relatively short periods and had cancer, kidney failure and arthritis to deal with but each time we lost one we were bereft, Our dear Skye, the last, died last year. Every time we say we will not get another dog ever. After a period of time between 6 and 12 months that view seems to change. In October, 16 months after Skye died we are getting a puppy. This is a part of by life where feelings seem very subject to change.

I have a 17 yo cat. He's definitely slowing down and only goes out to the toilet these days. I'm dreading the day when we don't have him. He's the only pet OH has ever had so I think he'll be more upset.

I don't know if I'd like another one after him. If I did it would be quite a while after but I like the company a cat gives us.

I've had a wee collage of 4 photos of him made and they're hanging on our bedroom wall so he'll always be with us.

Most of the time my husband and I have had three dogs at once - not deliberately, it's just worked out that way. We have a dog each and when my mum became too frail to care for hers he moved in with us as well. My beloved terrier died during the pandemic. Within 48 hours I had made enquiries with breeder and set up an appointment to view a litter as soon as we were allowed. So we were back to three dogs in just a few weeks. Because we are now in our 60's I can't imagine that we will ever have a puppy again but I like to hope that if I outlive my terrier I could give a good home to a dog in need.

The grief is real and so painful but the thought of a future without a dog is even worse.

I lost my beautiful 14yo old boy in April. I cried for 4 days solid after he'd gone, I thought I'd never stop, and I miss him every day.

But what I regret is worrying so much about it for the last few years of his life. I spent so much time worrying, getting upset every time he was ill, or off his food, or one of his legs wasn't working so well. Worrying is natural of course, but it can't change anything. Just try to make the most of whatever time you have left with him.

It was peaceful when my boy went, and he looked so relaxed. It was done with dignity and respect, and I can't be sorry about it - it was his time. I miss him terribly (I'm crying writing this) but what helped me was thinking that everyone who has ever had a pet has to go through this. It normalises it, and makes the grief a little less in some way.

Pets wriggle so far into your heart, and leave such a hole when they're gone. But that's ok. It's what they're meant to do. I'm so glad we had our dog in our lives.

I'm not getting another one, but that's purely because we are on the edge of retirement and want to travel more. The grief hasn't put me off, because I can see that the memories and the love outweigh any hurt tenfold.

I lost my darling chocolate lab boy in February 2022. I was heartbroken and I stayed in bed crying all day the day after he was PTS. I'd had him for over 13 years from being 7 weeks old. I am still devastated, he'd been at my side through some absolutely terrible times and was really the only constant in my life. My wider family don't understand, to them he was just a dog, to me he was my world. I will never get a dog again, I can't go through the heartbreak all over again and I never, ever want to set foot inside a vets again. I get my dog "fix" by following and donating to a dog charity, "Dogs 4 Rescue". I shall miss my boy forever.

My girl is only 3 almost 4 and often sit here crying thinking about when she goes. Therefore I can only imagine how heart broken I’ll be when it does happen. I’m crying now typing this, and she’s currently in the garden with the zoomies.🤣
Miss my wonderful mum and dad as I do and please believe when I say this is no disrespect to their souls but losing my dog is going to hurt even more.
Part of me thinks I’d have to go out and buy a mischievous fun loving affectionate little pup straight away to try and take away some of the emptiness. However would having a different dog remind me even more. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
What ever you do please don’t watch Marley and Me especially the ending.

We do borrow my doggy and end up usually having a beautiful doggy ( different ones) 4 or 5 times a year for 3 or 4 days- or 3 weeks in one case. It gives us a lift without the long term commitment or worry - I recommend it if you love dogs and have a suitable home.

I'd set a date maybe to do a PTS, this will lessen your worry of looking after her all the time, and gives you time to do a little grieving beforehand as well as after.

Aww, how exciting! And waiting a while before you commit is such a good idea. I’m surprised a rescue centre allowed a previous poster to take home a dog just a month after they’d lost their much loved pet.