Cat debate, need back up!

[ProudMamaBear92]

Okay so I need help to settles this once and for all because it’s a constant argument in our house. I’ll try keep it concise.

We have two lovely cats, one pedigree one moggy, both equally gorgeous. One was a surprise present from DH for my 30th, the other inherited.

DH hates me cleaning the cat bowls in the house and insists I clean them outside. I think this is ridiculous. I use a sponge just for the cats, I wash them seperately with hot water and soap and clean the sink after. I prefer they eat inside so I can clean the bowl soon after they are done. He makes them eat outside and then the bowls get gross with flies and slugs because we work all day.

He wants me to use the garden hose to rinse off and just let them dry outside, but then they don’t get properly clean and the cats will get sick. So he suggests I sit outside with a bowl of soapy water and clean them there. I’ll add I have a toddler and work full time, who has time for that?! Also means DS can’t go outside with the gross cat bowls because he’ll touch them.

I refuse to play along, try do it my way when he’s not there and he gets really angry about it and we argue.

AIBU??

The fact he agreed to cats and also bought one seems at odds with his request.

I will never have animals in my house and the thoughts of their bowls etc in the same sink or dishwasher etc, turns my stomach but he bought one of the cats.

What on earth did he expect?

Completely unreasonable given his involvement but if you had just arrived home with two cats without discussing it, I would be on his side.

Rinsed and put in the dishwasher.

Hopefully you don't actually have pets.

He's being ridiculous and has no right to impose this on you when you're the one (by the sound of it) actually doing the cleaning.

Your stomach is turned by the thought of my adorable angel's bowl, that she has licked with her precious pink tongue. How??

Not at present. 😊

Both of my kids were partial to a few cat biscuits when they were toddlers, too. Cats weren't massively impressed with sharing though.

Dh would rather the cats had their own forks, but I think that says more about his faith in his washing up skills.

What a twat.

Cat food has nothing in it that's worse than you'd find in human foods. Meats, fish, gravy etc etc.
Sure they put additives etc in for whatever reason, but there's absolutely zero reason to wash the plates separately to anything else.

I leave them to the end of the washing up put of habit, but there's no real reason too.

Well yes. But why should it be the one with a different view from yours? Why shouldn’t the OP’s DH go against his preferences?

What about the bowls is more gross than any other bowls? How is a tin of cat food any different to a tin of chilli con carne or something?

It would never even occur to me to use separate utensils or plates for the cats. We’ve always just put their food down on whatever side plate was
on the top of the pile in the drawer. Then they go in the dishwasher at some point and back in the drawer, to be used by whichever cat or human requires them.
So you can imagine my thoughts on feeding them outside…

I didn’t say which of them should give way to the other.

Only that “sometimes one needs to behave against one’s own preferences in order to accommodate the feelings and wishes of one’s partner.”

Therein lies peace and tranquility.
I hope OP and her husband can find it.

I’ll admit that I find cat food quite gross, which is why mine only ever get biscuits. But their bowls, water fountain etc go in the dishwasher.

since the cats frequently end up licking the plates I’ve eaten off, what’s the difference 🤣

Exactly this for me too!

it’s just meat, jelly and biscuits? My toddler eats the same and i don’t hose their plates down in the garden 😂

I read somewhere that cat food has to be human safe - so while it’s not appetising, it won’t kill you. So things like utensils that touch the cats food before they do are no more dirty then your forks etc.

cat bowls get shoved in the dishwasher, it runs at 65 so it should kill anything seriously nasty.

With that level of disgust I'm amazed he instigated getting a cat at all!

How odd. I just wash them like any other bowl - usually in the dishwasher. It didn’t occur to me to wash them anywhere else. It’s not toxic.

If you were scrubbing a litter tray in the kitchen sink with the same sponge you use for the dishes then I’d be on his side. But somehow I get the feeling you aren’t doing that….

If I fed our cats outside they'd starve. All the neighbourhood cats would eat their food.

They like the bowl but then lick their arse etc then their fur and presume you stroke them or let them sit on the sofa etc so their supposed mouth germs are everywhere!

I used to rinse and put in dishwasher and she was an inside cat with no garden and no she didn't like going outside even when we had a garden!

Our cats bowl broke the other day and we used a cereal bowl for a few days until i hd time to replace it.
We still use that cereal bowl now after its been put in the dishwasher 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well this can go either way, in this case the husband can take over washing cat dishes, if it's so important to him.

If you find something like that important, you do it, otherwise its status quo.

I cant feed my cat outside, the foxes the hedgehog and birds all love pet food. There would be no cat food left for the cat and rats would get more bold, unless I put the food at the bottom of the garden. Cannot be arsed with that walk 3 times a day.

a compromise could be to clean them in the laundry room sink or bathroom sink - not the kitchen sink?

My daughters loved the cats biscuits. We had to buy a play pen and put the food in it to keep the kids away. No harm done to the kids but their breath was rank

Hot water and soap are essential. Slugs can transmit lungworm, cold water won’t be enough.