Cat debate, need back up!

[ProudMamaBear92]

Okay so I need help to settles this once and for all because it’s a constant argument in our house. I’ll try keep it concise.

We have two lovely cats, one pedigree one moggy, both equally gorgeous. One was a surprise present from DH for my 30th, the other inherited.

DH hates me cleaning the cat bowls in the house and insists I clean them outside. I think this is ridiculous. I use a sponge just for the cats, I wash them seperately with hot water and soap and clean the sink after. I prefer they eat inside so I can clean the bowl soon after they are done. He makes them eat outside and then the bowls get gross with flies and slugs because we work all day.

He wants me to use the garden hose to rinse off and just let them dry outside, but then they don’t get properly clean and the cats will get sick. So he suggests I sit outside with a bowl of soapy water and clean them there. I’ll add I have a toddler and work full time, who has time for that?! Also means DS can’t go outside with the gross cat bowls because he’ll touch them.

I refuse to play along, try do it my way when he’s not there and he gets really angry about it and we argue.

AIBU??

@Just4thisthreadtoday

"Cannibal" because somebody once absentmindedly licked cat food off a fork?

What do you think cat food is made of? Have Whiskas released a limited edition Soylent Green range we didn't know about?

I used to have dogs and their bowls and cutlery went in the dishwasher. Your husband sounds like a knob especially as I am assuming he bought you birthday cat?

Why is washing the cat bowls your job, if he has such strong opinions on the matter?

He’s being ridiculous

"I would find it disgusting ... I would wash it outside."

It sounds as though you are speaking hypothetically and that you don't have a cat?

If you do have a cat (or other similar pet) how do you clean the bowel it eats from?

If you do have a cat (or other similar pet) how do you clean the bowel it eats from?

That’s a whole new level of disgusting!

@godmum56
"I am assuming he bought you birthday cat?"

I have no idea why, but the idea of a birthday cat has brightened my morning soooo much!

Thank you all for your responses so far. I shall present the evidence shortly ☺️ In answer to some questions, cat food gives him the ick in general but I don’t think anyone really likes it! Our cats are very human like and treated as so, with lots of love by me, but DH repeatedly says they shouldn’t be living in the house.. 😒 Ive told him frequently if someone’s sleeping outside it won’t be the cats. However, one of them went missing for a week and he was beside himself with worry about him so I think it’s all just a load of hot air…

Anyone with such a high level of squeamishness is really not suited to having pets. It's clearly the thought of it rather than any rational issue as your hygiene standards are more than adequate to prevent any health issues. Doing it his way however could lead to actual rather than imagined problems. The food outside will attract strays and 'neighbourhood cats' and you could end up with a colony in your garden. You will also be unable to control your cats diet as won't know what they've eaten. You could attract foxes and rats as well as flies. You have the right of it here and should tell him no. Do your cats eat wet food? A switch to dry might be better as it's less 'nasty' for him to fret about.

Tell us how it goes @ProudMamaBear92!

oh come on

you think he’s going to be swayed by a group of anonymous mumsnet posters?

and if he is swayed by a group of anonymous mumsnet posters and not his wife… then 🤨

@ArcaneSquiggle

Tge post wasn't aimed at you, and if your going to stuck your neb in, at least read the post properly & take note of emoticons used.

she said.

I wouldn't have known the difference between that and human pate

🙄🙄🙄

This just reminded of a dream I had last night where I ate cat food and it was alright.

Maybe it's the general smell. If you can afford a slightly more expensive food, maybe try Applaws or something? It's basically just shredded tuna or chicken and is FAR nicer (and probably healthier!).

I can't stand the sicky smell of the main brands like Whiskas and Sheba, and while I love my cats, I'd hate to have that smell lingering around the house all day...

I'm a bit funny about germs, so the cat and dog bowls get washed in the sink, own sponge, then the sink is cleaned and bleached. They do eat inside but not near where we eat. People have different levels of hygiene

I would just say no. If you can't do that then you have a bigger problem.

My former partner had to have baked beans with every meal no matter what. During the last couple of years we were together I didn’t like him very much. When doing dinner I would have the beans in a bowl waiting to go in the microwave and my cat, who apparently liked bean juice very much would jump up on to the kitchen counter and lick the entire top layer of sauce off the beans. Ex partner never suffered any ill effect but it certainly amused me. 😹

There’s a rule that covers all these types of situations. Closes it down each time.

If something is that important to you, do it yourself as opposed to nagging your spouse to do it.

90% of the time it ceases to become that important when it becomes another chore for the man.

If he wants the cat dishes washed outside then he needs to take them into the garden after the cats have eaten inside and wash them, sitting with his bowlful of soapy water in the cold. What an utter twat.

Huh? Gosh he'd hate my house! I have dogs too so feed my cats on the counter!

He's being ridiculous! They're cats not farm dogs 😂
Leaving food outside is a bad idea because they won't eat it if it's remotely "iffy" from being out in the sun

This thread has got me thinking about men and their ridiculous expectations for their partners to do things.

I got to a point with my ex husband where about 90% of the sentences that came out of his mouth started with the phrase: “You need to…” followed by some ridiculous thing that he felt needed doing and I didn’t think was important but that he was apparently incapable of doing himself. Even though I had twice as many hours of work per week than he did, did all the childcare at home and earned nearly four times as much as him.

I started pushing back eventually and I just said every time: “I don’t want to/need to/have time to do this. If you think it’s that important you will have to do it yourself.”

Cue lots of guilt trips and tantrums but
magically none of those things got done when they were on his plate. It still makes me fucking seethe and we have been divorced nearly ten years.

Funny how these things are always fantastically important to the household when men want them to be done but not when they have to do them themselves.

3 cats here and cat bowls go into the washing up water after ive washed our stuff (no dishwasher) and they have a seperate scourer and fed inside as feeding outside cant garauntee they eat it and not some other six dinner sid who lives nearby

Get better cat food. Untamed, blink, katkin are brands that are made from 100% human grade meat so they don’t smell bad (and much healthier for the cats too).

Cat food fucking stinks and I don’t blame him for wanting it to be outside.