To feel sad I’m becoming less adventurous and more scared of things

[Minesacherrycoke]

I moved abroad at 23, have more or less travelled the world, loved adventure, driving in India & Morocco, staying in dodgy places, living in a whole new culture, learning new languages, not a lot phased me.
I now have a yearning to return to live in the U.K., not fly again or rarely, just lead a very safe life…feel like I’m becoming a bit scared of things/insecure
Does this just naturally happen more with age (46) or there something wrong
Does anyone else feel like this?

Op maybe toy just want a change. That ok. And when you have a child you start putting safety first. That’s also ok. It might come back to you later.

46 isn’t old but can’t think what else a change in character and the things I loved-I mean I really loved travelling and adventure. I expect a slowing down of it with age/kids a little perhaps, we’re not the same in our 20’s as our 30’s, but even at 39 I was taking 6/7 flights to get to Thailand, boats etc, loving it…the thought of that now is different

Something about estrogen being a protector against stress. As it dwindles in menopause many women see a rise in anxiety. I think it’s natures way of getting us to stay home and bake cakes

Just to add that wanting a slower pace and comfort in routine can come from a positive direction, appreciating what you have, and enjoying it. So not necessarily a bad thing! And sometimes we go through life phases of needing
to rest and recharge and then stretch our wings a bit.

Me too, actually. I’m 52, and I’ve moved around the world a lot, but now committed to staying where I am until my 12 year old finishes school, and it’s making me feel slightly twitchy. Left to myself I like nothing more than a new culture, language, climate etc. Like @CharlotteRumpling, I say this not to sound all edgy and adventurous, just to say I don’t think ‘slowing down’ in middle age is ‘natural’ or ‘inevitable’. I’ve been offered a couple of opportunities in the last year or two (living as a caretaker on an otherwise uninhabited island, and tutoring on a film set in Mexico) that I’d love to have taken up, but there will be others.

But you feel what you feel, obviously, and you’re best placed to decide whether it’s something to go with, or whether it’s a phobia of flying.

This too.

I'm 40 and have realised I have got like this. No partner or kids and life is just really small - no holidays abroad as no one to go with and don't want to go alone (friends have their own families, family members too elderly now). I realised I haven't been to London (opposite side of the country) since well before the pandemic. My last proper holiday was 2019 too and that year I did Orlando, a Canadian Road Trip and NYC. I wasn't alone though and think if I had a partner or husband and kids I'd still be more adventurous. I just get really anxious in a strange enivironment alone these days. I also don't go to concerts or gigs alone anymore...I used to but it's just not the same with no one to turn to and say wow,
eating alone in a food court, travelling there and back with no one to chat to.

When I was single in my 20s I did so much! I was really brave, wouldn't think twice about exploring a new city on a solo break, going to an arena gig alone etc. I look back and wonder where did that girl go?

Struggling now with job changes and starting new hobbies too. And dating. Just feel like I've lost my nerve and sense of adventure. Not sure if it is my age or the isolation I experienced during the pandemic which made me come out the other end "a little bit funny". It's like holed up at home is my default and I'm scared to get out my comfort zone. It's such a small life though :(

There's not much scarier than the UK right now, collapsing health system, random stabbings daily, awful food, bleak short term future.

I'd say you're still adventurous.

Wouldn't recommend Welsh caravans in the latter quarter of the year though, bloody freezing.

Nothing (except cost) to stop you travelling round Britain - it’s amazing what there is if you research. Beautiful scenery, buildings, historic sites, art galleries, gardens ……
I’ve been travelling by train lately -relaxing!

I'm early 50s, through the menopause and desperate for the last kid to get off to uni so DH and i can finally get back to travelling and it not costing an arm and a leg. We are currently planning the mother of all interailing trips. Only thing that had changed for me is that I have more money so i don't have to rough it unless i want to. It's not inevitable. I'm worried i don't have enough time to pack everything in!

I'm 63 and still love flying and the whole airport experience.

Where did you emigrate to? I emigrated at 22 and at this point it feels much 'safer' to stay here! I know how things work here, been here basically all my adult life so it's home.

I grew up in the UK but don't really know about how to do adult life admin there. Some things are familiar of course but I was only a few years out of my teens when I left and I've never had a job there, never paid tax, never sorted insurance, never had a child at daycare or school... it's a foreign country for me in a lot of ways.

I’m nearly 47. I don’t mind roughing it a bit and still enjoy camping.

But as a youngster I enjoyed flying and theme park rides- hate both now so yes, have got a lot more fearful with age.

A little bit. I was never as brave as you, OP, but I do pale slightly at remembering how in my early 20s my best friend and I went travelling to the Middle East, India etc with nothing but a few travellers cheques and a copy of the relevant Lonely Planet. No phones in those days if anything went wrong and I didn't give a thought to whether my parents would worry about me!

I do still travel though, but more cautiously and with much more planning. I don't have kids but am much more aware of the impact on other people (e.g. my aged widowed father) if something did happen to me.

same and i’m late 30’s. Lived and travelled extensively abroad. Since having DC flying makes me so much more nervous, I plan for every eventually etc. I loved travelling and still do with DC but it isn’t easy anymore and I worry for days before it. And half the time when i have an idea for a trip I find I just can’t….be bothered 😆 With the faff, expense etc anymore. Maybe cause i’m in a different phase of life than late teens/early twenties and just more tired, but i find the pull to travel and explore less now and less it makes me sad 😞 I’m happy to stay in the UK next year where as before is think i’m such a bore 😆

Yep, I'm 46 and my travel anxiety is terrible. I don't like to travel/drive somewhere I'm unfamiliar with, it makes me really anxious. Apparently this is one of the very many symptoms of peri menopause

I changed like this after having a baby. I think that it’s normal to become more risk averse as you know you are indispensable to your child. You want to stay very safe and keep your child as safe as possible too. I also think peri menopause makes many women more anxious, it definitely had that effect on me.
I am not as adventurous as I was in my twenties , but I feel that there has been another shift this past year, at 59, where I want to do more things again, now I have teenagers 17 and 19, it’s less daunting than with small children.

You could look at getting your hormones checked. I found a dose of testosterone (as part of HRT) really helped with this.

lool… I still love rides but keep hearing about people getting injured or seeing SM videos of them malfunctioning – I love them but not that much!

I’m 56 and way less adventurous than I used to be. I think for most people it’s an inevitable consequence of maturity. As you get older and see more of life, you become more aware of the things that can go wrong. You start to anticipate problems that you never even considered before. Also, as someone else said, being a parent gives you a new sense of self preservation.

These days I find that I take a whole medicine cabinet on holiday with me, “just in case”. In my 20s I just took a toothbrush, toothpaste and soap. And I don’t tolerate discomfort as well as I used to. As a young backpacker, I happily slept on beaches, railway stations, even on the street once. Now I don’t like to stay anywhere without air-con and an en-suite!

As this thread shows, there are some people who don’t lose that “roughing it” ability, but I think the vast majority of us start to value our creature comforts as we get older. That doesn’t mean we don’t travel or experience new things. We just do it in a more controllable manageable way.

OP, I’ve definitely gone in phases throughout my adult life (now 48), maybe each phase for a few years, of wanting to hunker down and feel safe, then wanting to explore.
i have an empty nest now and although I really miss one of my DCs, the freedom from worry is quite liberating and I’m up for travels again!

I'd also say that MN or the internet is not a reliable source because naturally people who are anxious tend to go on the net.

@Puffinshop Where are you?

I'm the same, travelled abroad alone from 16, not a care in the world. Now I'm in my 30s I just get anxiety about doing anything that's not usual day to day stuff 🫣 I do it anyway but the anxiety drives me mad