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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Untitled

42 replies

bearblue · 18/04/2008 11:59

Just found out by chance that the little boy my DD sits next to in class has had nits 3 times since xmas
The boys mother is a friend of mine and has never cracked on
I know getting nits is nobodys fault .But do feel she could of told me .
I see her every day
Should she of told me????

OP posts:
Mamazon · 18/04/2008 12:01

she should have.
But although you accept that Nits is just one of those things and noones fault, some aren't quite so understanding.

She may have been worried she would be blamed and her child shunned.

Uriel · 18/04/2008 12:02

She's probably embarrassed about it.

chloesmumtoo · 18/04/2008 12:04

She may have worried that the children would talk and then not go near him.

bigknickersbigknockers · 18/04/2008 12:04

If she is a friend of yours then yes, she should have felt able to tell you. Though I dont go round telling people when DS has had nits. I just treat them. I have been combing regularly since christmas and not had any since then.

chloesmumtoo · 18/04/2008 12:05

If they tell the teacher at our school they send out warning nit letters and then the child who it is doesnt have to be disclosed. Does that happen at most schools?

thornrose · 18/04/2008 12:05

She should tell you as she's your friend but having a child with recurring bloody nits myself I don't tell everyone! From embarassment, fear of people thinking I don't do enough to stop her getting them...

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 12:06

When dd got chicken pox 2 weeks ago .I phoned and told her.

Wouldnt mind but dd has WILD hair so cant always brush it with her consent. She could of caught them and I wouldnt of known and then we all would of got the house mates.
She is a DOCTOR

OP posts:
chloesmumtoo · 18/04/2008 12:06

Having said that my friends still tell me when their kids get it and vice versa

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 12:10

The same rule applies at our school you tell the teacher and a letter goes out.No need for anybody to know who the child is
But she did`nt

OP posts:
WorzselMummage · 18/04/2008 12:11

maybe she thinks they came from your child.

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 12:14

all her children got them.She told a mutual friend he got them of her ds1

But if I phoned her about chicken pox I would of phoned her about nits.

OP posts:
MrsWeasley · 18/04/2008 12:15

some people really arent bothered by nits and she probably thought her DS was getting them from your DD's wild hair

My son caught them once whilst sitting next to a girl with long hair who liked to flick it around. I told her parents that DS had them they swore blind they had checked their DD's hair and she was clear. The girl them told my DS she had had them for months but her mum said she wasnt to tell anyone

lucyellensmum · 18/04/2008 13:00

DD1 had nits pretty much throughout her school years - we were just like, oh well, lets get the comb out again - its just somethign that goes with having thick long hair.

My mother was absolutely horrified and angry and totally unreasonable about it "shes got those THINGS in her hair again" - i was a bit upset the first time we got them, but honestly it is just something that happens. They are not harmful provided they are got rid of and not allowed to fester to the point the hair moves with them - yuck!!

Peoples attitudes vary - DD2 has lovely long blonde curly hair which is an absolute NIGHTMARE to comb and brush - so i will have to make sure she either has it cut or keeps it in a plait. I reckon i have more chance of winning the lottery than her getting through school without nits

Maybe your friend was embarrased. But she should keep the school informed, thats what DDs school did, asked that the parents discretely informed the teacher and the nit letter would go home to the children in the class. Personally i think that we all need to be vigillent and if we were to do the "wash, condition, comb, leave the nit without a home" routine once a week then we should keep on top of it.

Nightmare

lucyellensmum · 18/04/2008 13:03

if she is a doctor, perhaps she is pretty much OK with the whole nits thing, realises that they are not the end of the world and is a given that the kids are going to get them from time to time.

I mean, we are literally covered in beasties and bugs , its only because the nits are visable, and yes they do itch a bit if you have loads, that we freak out about them.

lucyellensmum · 18/04/2008 13:04

I have had a TICK in my back from when i worked as a vet nurse, nits?? lightweights ive had roundworm too - hey ho.

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 13:07

Its not the fact her kids have nits it happens to anybody

Its the lack of thought she gave to my dd or the class that has pissed me off.
If dd got them which she probarley will at some stage or other.I would have to crop her hair to get the buggars out.

4warned is 4armed

OP posts:
Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 13:08

I am sat here itching now LOL

OP posts:
Johnso · 18/04/2008 13:16

YABU bearblue-where did you get your information from? How do you know the girl had had them 3 times since xmas?
How do you know the mother didn't inform the teachers?
This all sounds a bit gossipy to me
As someone said, maybe they caught them from your child.

DirtySexyMummy · 18/04/2008 13:20

You don't need to cut your hair because you have nits though?

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 13:22

It does sound gossipy I know I don`t mean it to be.A mutual friend said she had checked her kids hair the night before for NITS
Cos this friend had told her on the side.

As for "telling the teachers" no letter went out which is school policy

OP posts:
mimismummy · 18/04/2008 13:23

Erm...even if she had told you, what would you have done? Shaved dd's hair off, prevented her from going anywhere near her friend? My dd had nits constantly last year - she also has unruly hair and obvioulsy caught them from some other child, but what is one to do? Lock them up? The best thing you can do is check you dd's hair regularly, whether you know there are nits about or not, and treat/ comb when you find them. It happens and it's not a big deal

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 13:27

No I would`nt stop them from playing 2gether nor would I tell my dd about the boy having nits they are only 4.
But you are right about checking reguarly

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 18/04/2008 13:28

i have to agree, its not such a big deal getting nits, but im sorry to say bear blue, if you think you are going to get DD through school without nits, then you are being a bit niave im afraid - i mean that kindly of course

solo · 18/04/2008 13:32

NITMIX I've said it before, but this stuff is worth buying and using and it also has stuff that you spray on daily as a preventative. Smells lovely too.

Original poster
bearblue · 18/04/2008 13:33

Look
If or when dd gets nits I don`t have a problem with it. Like its been said no big deal

What I dont like is the fact the mum is a friend who didnt crack on

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