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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is Sweet 16 really a big deal?

140 replies

Cantinfluenceme · 01/09/2024 09:40

So my sister has 4 daughters, around a year between them all, the eldest of them will be 16 next month. We have just received a birthday invite in the post (I see her all the time so wondering why it had to be posted also). This invite was fancier than a wedding invitation, inviting us to her 'Sweet Sixteen' birthday celebration. In the invite is the restaurant details with a nicely worded poem letting us know that they would like our company but we pay for our own food. Also complete with a QR code with a link to an Amazon wish list for my niece.. I've had a look and presents range from £50 to £500 😳. I'm flabbergasted by the whole thing.. is this a thing? Do I have to fork out for this for the next 4 years as the other girls turn 16, then again I presume at 18 and 21??? AIBU to say this is totally over the top for a sixteenth birthday? Myself and my husband and 3 kids are all invited and will be expected to be there, I have kids of my own that are older and younger and wouldn't have even considered this age that much of a special birthday?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantinfluenceme · 02/09/2024 16:49

probster · 02/09/2024 16:22

mumsnet has taught me that simply because posters see family “all the time”, does not mean they are necessarily “close”

So you’re “very close” to your sister

and chose to start a pretty outing thread about her (oh and she’s obsessed with SM and likely doing it for likes) and her grabiness

This is the first time she’s behaved like this and not her character? or this one example of a litany of similar?

Show quote history

We will agree to differ here, I'm definitely not getting involved in an argument on here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantinfluenceme · 02/09/2024 16:51

Flossflower · 02/09/2024 16:24

I don’t think you can be close to your sister. If my sister had done something like this I would have no hesitation in asking her what on earth she thought she was doing and we would still part on good terms.

But can't we be close but still not want to offend her by telling her she's over the top??

OP posts:
probster · 02/09/2024 16:54

how many people out there have
4 girls
each separated by a year
all under 16
and just sent our very fancy invites to a sweet 16
and the mother is “obsessed” with SM and constantly updating her instagram

aren’t you worried about this being picked up ?

probster · 02/09/2024 16:55

close sisters that see each other all the time

and yet she didn’t mention party plans for your niece. No planning discussions, no involvement in any shape or form whatsoever . Just sent through an invite

probster · 02/09/2024 16:57

Flossflower · 02/09/2024 16:24

I don’t think you can be close to your sister. If my sister had done something like this I would have no hesitation in asking her what on earth she thought she was doing and we would still part on good terms.

i just think we have a different view to the OP on what constitutes a close relationship with our sisters

NPET · 02/09/2024 16:58

All 16 meant to me was all the boys at school saying "so, you're legal now!".b
Obviously I had a party but it was the first one that I organised myself and I certainly didn't expect gifts beyond food or toiletries.

PixieLaLar · 02/09/2024 22:09

OP please don’t pay any attention to posters like probster, they are clearly argumentative and looking for a fight. You don’t need to explain or justify the relationship you have with your sister to these sort of morons.

Original poster
Cantinfluenceme · 02/09/2024 22:54

PixieLaLar · 02/09/2024 22:09

OP please don’t pay any attention to posters like probster, they are clearly argumentative and looking for a fight. You don’t need to explain or justify the relationship you have with your sister to these sort of morons.

Thank you. X

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 02/09/2024 23:07

No, I had a 16 yo daughter last year. She had nothing like this and nor did any of her friends or anyone in the (large) year group as far as I’m aware. 18th is only two years away ffs. Another American import I think.

BeatsAntique · 02/09/2024 23:18

It’s a thing here in the States, mostly just for girls though. The Hispanic families do the quinciñera at 15. 18 isn’t a big deal but 21 is.

I don’t remember 21 being a thing in the UK when I hit that age, 18 was the only big deal birthday because nothing really changes at 21 anymore. 18 is the age for everything.

Crazycatlady79 · 02/09/2024 23:30

If anyone had used the word 'sweet' in relation to me at 16, I probably would have punched them in the face. I probably still would.
I think it's a bit vomit inducing, but à chaçun son destin.
I'd probably be inclined to give her a £5 scratch card after receiving an Amazon gift wishlist like that, but hopefully you're a better Aunt than me!

FrillyKnickersAndNoFurCoat · 03/09/2024 01:06

Sweet 16 is a US celebration along the lines of "gender reveals" and baby showers.

Anisty · 03/09/2024 11:11

probster · 02/09/2024 08:56

are they still together? @Anisty

did you refuse to get involved? she was obviously very loved up and wanted to do something special for your son. Shame to have been so scornful

Show quote history

Yes! Still together. I might have felt more enthusiastic about it had she not expected us to pay for the whole thing! She booked it, we paid.

Of course we didn't refuse to get involved! Whatever gave you that idea? She basically got in touch and asked me what local places would be best for this special birthday. I put forward a suggestion or two. She booked it.

She then got in touch with a bakery and ordered up a cake made specially for him and i went and collected and paid for that.

And then of course we paid for the entire meal for 9 people. The whole thing was quite an event i can tell you!

She's a great match for our son though🙂

OpalGoose · 04/09/2024 23:52

I've bided my time until the final poll results were in. Sweet Sixteen means something entirely different to me, a film with Martin Compston of Line of Duty fame when he was around that age, filmed in his home town. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313670/

Sweet Sixteen (2002) ⭐ 7.4 | Crime, Drama

1h 46m | 18

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313670

SelMarin · 08/09/2024 22:33

probster · 02/09/2024 16:57

i just think we have a different view to the OP on what constitutes a close relationship with our sisters

Edited
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Why does it even matter? Why are you being so weird?

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