Is Sweet 16 really a big deal?

[Cantinfluenceme]

So my sister has 4 daughters, around a year between them all, the eldest of them will be 16 next month. We have just received a birthday invite in the post (I see her all the time so wondering why it had to be posted also). This invite was fancier than a wedding invitation, inviting us to her 'Sweet Sixteen' birthday celebration. In the invite is the restaurant details with a nicely worded poem letting us know that they would like our company but we pay for our own food. Also complete with a QR code with a link to an Amazon wish list for my niece.. I've had a look and presents range from £50 to £500 😳. I'm flabbergasted by the whole thing.. is this a thing? Do I have to fork out for this for the next 4 years as the other girls turn 16, then again I presume at 18 and 21??? AIBU to say this is totally over the top for a sixteenth birthday? Myself and my husband and 3 kids are all invited and will be expected to be there, I have kids of my own that are older and younger and wouldn't have even considered this age that much of a special birthday?

I think it is very cheeky to expect you to pay for a meal and buy an expensive present.
No they are not a thing in the UK.
Personally I would have a subsequent occaision!

It's all a bit over the top, I'd just go and take your own present.

Do boys have them too? Mine wasn't sweet when he was sixteen, neither was Dd to be fair.

Same.
It's like celebrating the fact that she's now old enough to legally lose he virginity.

There's no equivalent for boys, is there?

I'd make it clear that if you're going to participate in celebrating a 16th birthday, then you won't also be buying big presents for 18th or 21st.

Are sweet sixteen parties a celebration of a teenage girl reaching the age of consent or is there another reason I’m not aware of? I’ve heard of them in the US but not really here, it seems a bit OTT

No, just a commercial.

It’s definitely more of a US/Canada thing. Historically, it marked the age when a girl becomes a woman, eligible for marriage. These days it seems to be distanced from that and just a celebration of a milestone in a girl’s life, but what exactly is this milestone, that is specific to girls?

To me it’s a bit weird that a) there isn’t an equivalent celebration for 16 year old boys b) the name ‘sweet 16’ is a bit questionable given the historical connection of marriage eligibility + 16 being the age of consent. People will say it has other significance in terms of maturity (in the US), such as being able to drive, but again boys can also drive at 16…? So the question is, what exactly are people celebrating these days? Again, I’m jaded…

Thanks everyone. For me it's more that fact that if we go to this meal and buy the expensive gift etc then we are setting a precedent for all of her other daughters 16th and then subsequent 18th and 21st. It'll be never ending! And when I don't celebrate in that way for my own children it's not sitting right with me..

@Cantinfluenceme there's very little you can do at 16 that you can't do at 15.
21 isn't important anymore and hasn't been for decades.
18 is when legally a child becomes an adult.
So if you do wish to buy your nieces a special gift tell your sister it will be for their 18th and 18th only.
For 16 give her a £20 Amazon voucher.
(and if you can't afford the meal don't go - what 16 year old wants a meal for their birthday though? Most would want pizza or something surely....)

The Sedaka song is very worrying…

“Tonight’s the night I’ve been waiting for
Because you’re not a baby, anymore.
You’ve turned into the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen.”

…they have a register for that kind of thing.

No

Send her a MacDonald's voucher if you usually buy gifs
swerve the party

@PointsSouth

The Neil Sedaka Song is very worrying!

And Young Girl, by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap.

Young girl, Get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl
You're much too young, girl

With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you're old enough, to give me love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know, that it's wrong to be alone with me
That 'come on' look is in your eyes

😱

@Cantinfluenceme I think the 'Sweet Sixteen' nonsense is ridiculous, and it's not a 'milestone' birthday. Will these same people make a fuss of said child for their 18th birthday too? Like hell would I spending £200 on a gift for a 16 year old that is not my own child. Madness

Absolutely ridiculous It's an American 'thing'
The average 16year old would rather hangout with their friends!Birthday card and a small gift is what my children were happy and grateful for.

We are in the USA and our dc and their friends all turned 16 this year.
There were trips to nice restaurants but host paid the costs.
There were gifts but no gift list.
Whatever your dsis is doing it isn't something I recognize from the USA.

More American tosh designed to part you from a lot of money
Every day has to be a party day

American AND Cheeky Fuckery

We didn't do sweet 16 but some people we know did
For my niece I would go with a smile on my face
Normally spend £100 or so on presents for nieces / nephews
Does seem a bit OTT, but maybe she is hsving problems with friends/school and needs cheering up

In my husbands family, 16, 18 and 21 are big birthdays and everyone gives the kids £££. So we do this tradition for his side of the family.

For 16 it’s to save for driving lessons and car
at 18 net a decent amount for Uni at 21 to help them get started after uni. So I think it depends on each family.

Utterly creepy phrase

It's another commercialised Americanism. Like baby showers.

More American crap that's been imported over here, no doubt courtesy of those vile garish Sweet 16 TV shows that they shit out.

More often than not, it is around where I live (NW Eng).

Girls tend to have elaborate parties, along with lots of big ticket gifts (designer handbag, music gig tickets, etc).
Boys not so much elaborate parties, but still expensive gifts.

However, big presents are usually off family, I've not heard of someone having a wishlist! They'd be seen as very rude/cheeky .

I think that sounds really bizarre. 16 has always been just another birthday with anyone I've ever known. The only thing that made it different to other birthdays according to my daughter was that it was legal for her to have sex 😆

'Sweet Sixteen' is actually a reference to the fact that girls are now legal.

It was referenced a fair bit in songs of the 50s/60s and its all about the fact this sweet, innocent, charming girl is no longer off limits to the older men who have had their eye on her.

It's why it's a thing for girls but not really for boys. There generally aren't hoards of older women circling 15 year old boys waiting for them to become legal.

Im aware that this isnt what people think they are doing when they celebrate 'sweet sixteen'. But it's not a lovely thing at all.

We had a Sweet Sixteen party at home with a fancy cake. I think a lot of girls want a sweet sixteen themed party because they see it in US shows but your DS's version sounds over the top. I think it's absolutely cool for her to celebrate her daughter turning 16 as she sees fit but the wish list and expecting guests to pay is icky. If you host, you pay. That way you choose the experience you can afford rather than choosing an experience you can't afford and expecting other people to pay.