Your recommendations for cosmopolitan living outside of London

[Kalaboom]

DH and I are looking to move from our small rural village to somewhere with a bit more buzz and more in the way of restaurants, bars, shops and community social events.

We had the kids quite young and they're about to fly the nest, meaning we have the luxury of downsizing to a more expensive area if needed and we don't need to worry about schools etc. We're barely grazing 40 and this is a sort of second lease of life for us, so we really want to find somewhere with a vibrant, welcoming community and more going on than our sleepy spot in suburbia currently offers!

London not an option and ideally we'll stay in the south east close to family.

Possible contenders include:

Marlow
Henley
St Albans
Winchester
Windsor

We'd really like it to be somewhere with a bit of charm and character as opposed to being very urban or built-up, hence the list above. Bonus points for being on a river or canal or with easy countryside access for some scenic walks with the dogs.

Am I missing anywhere else worth considering? And can anyone share first-hand experiences of what any of the above places are like? We've visited all of them regularly on days out but appreciate living there is a different matter.

Is Oxford worth adding to the list? I've heard it's not so welcoming to non-locals and can be quite cliquey...

these suggestions are more MC non Brexity than cosmopolitan.

Marlow is lovely, very laid back but lots going on, nice park by the river, bustling high street lots of nice pubs and restaurants. We live in a local village about 10 mins from Marlow as we couldn't afford a house there, I do wonder if your budget will get a house there, our budget was around 750k 4 years ago and we definitely couldn't have got anything that we wanted there

Not Hastings it's not very nice at the moment

I wouldn't call it cosmopolitan but Tring is nice as is Berkhamstead.

Not Bromley! Our independent cinema's closed, our museum closed ages ago, our theatre's looking dodgy, our (admittedly plentiful) green spaces are covered in litter and we are a gathering point for Brexit/anti-ULEZ/"stop Khan's tunnel tax" types. We actually had a UKIP branch for a while.

Windsor would be perfect for what ytare looking for!

Henley is gorgeous (I live nearby) and there's actually loads going on once you look into it. I've made lots of really lovely friends here, even though I 'm not a naturally sociable person. I find it easy to head into Oxford or London for galleries and theatre. Reading is very convenient for shopping for anything you can't find in Henley.

Can't deny that Henley is strikingly white, though.

I live in Thame, which is about 20 minutes to the east of Oxford and it's a lovely market town in a rural setting. Some nice independent shops and cafes, situated on a river with green areas for dog walking / cycling.

Lots going on whether you want sports clubs, gyms, choirs, creative stuff - it's got its own theatre/cinema.

It has about 10 pubs just along the main high street which cater for a range of tastes from gastro to old man/sports bar.

You can get into Oxford easily via a bus or do the park & ride if you want something buzzier or more cosmopolitan. High Wycombe is about 25 minutes south and Aylesbury is 15 minutes to the east, and has lots of big supermarkets and other handy stuff like Dunelm/The Range etc!

Plus, Marlow/Henley isn't too far to drive to either and trains to London are between 40-55 mins (depending on whether you get a fast or stopping service).

Oxford has changed a lot.

Lots of the countryside around it (in the city and in neighbouring counties) is either being developed for housing or will be.
Cars are discouraged although the park and ride is good. Cycling is best.
Lots of young student blocks and houses make the population more transient than ever.
Much shouting and noise in restaurants and pubs.
Large, pushy tourist groups make it very stressful to walk in the city centre, so people have to get out of their way very quickly, or walk on the street.
I have heard that a lot of university people can be indeed cliquey and judgmental. So are some of the other types.

It has one of the greatest gaps between rich and poor in the country. There is a lot of deprivation. Tourists don't see this.
Prices are dictated by London prices.

It has lots of culture and great aspects to it, it is cosmopolitan, but it can be difficult to live there.

It depends on your view of what cosmopolitan means? Guildford is not particularly diverse in race terms, very few black families, but is in terms of diversity of place, if that makes sense. My group of friends are Italian, German, American and Eastern European (various). DD best friends at junior school were Chinese and Vietnamese. There is a university and the hospital, many of the students, lecturers and medics are from abroad.

We have A LOT of coffee shops, restaurants, Asian and Eastern European market type shops. A well regarded theatre and entertainment venue.

I like it, but then I have lived here all my life.

*Possible contenders include:

Marlow
Henley
St Albans
Winchester
Windsor*

Has the meaning of cosmopolitan changed?

Lewes is great with plenty going on and in the South Downs National Park. If you ignore the depressing town centre and stay in the Pantiles area then Tunbridge Wells is also lovely.

I live near Winchester, it's sounds like the sort of place you would like. It's expensive, especially if you want to be in walking distance of the centre, but there's lots of cafes, bars, pubs and restaurants. Markets every weekend, lots of events in the cathedral grounds. Some lovely walks in the surrounding countryside.

Newbury and Reading are awful. Newbury is a dull market town and Reading is rough and dirty.

If it was me in your shoes, I'd move to Brighton in a heartbeat, but it is pretty urban which you said you don't want.

I too think that the areas you have listed are targeted towards the white middle class (fine if thats what you want but certainly not cosmopolitan). I live in Oxford and although I completely agree that some of the planning re housing and general traffic is a mess inside the city, with a budget of 700k you could choose the area wisely and be near the countryside, rivers, canals and still only a short bus/taxi into the city. You can also reach the major roads out if you live on the outskirts and as the city is quite small, you are rarely more than 25 minutes bus ride from the centre even if you live out in the burbs. Links to London are good and there are some gorgeous areas (Cotswolds, Chilterns) within half an hours drive. I moved here from the west country and found the people welcoming in the communities outside the city itself and there is plenty of culture and diversity. Headington and Botley are nice and the people who live there tend to be a mixture of backgrounds. Jericho is lovely too (although far more gentrified and therefore pricey).

I agree with the comments about Windsor, the flight path is insane and the noise day and night/early morning was unbearable. The centre is very touristy and some of the outskirts run down.
Henley is a nice place to live... but house prices are ridiculous (like Marlow) and maybe you will compromise on a property a lot to live there.

Reading and Newbury would be a no for me...

I am not sure what "cosmopolitan" means so can't add to that.

Both Marlow and Henley are on branch lines so it's not quick getting into London.

I would like to move out of the area at some point so maybe I shouldn't comment....

I have found Oxford centre to be quite unappealing and unsympathetically developed. Having visited Cambridge for the first time this summer (I know it is too far for OP), it is a much much nicer city I feel...

I'd look at Leigh-on-Sea. Ton's of restaurants, it's on the coast, loads of nature and good transport links. £700k should get you something fairly reasonable.

@Redhairandtubs fair enough. I've always liked Newbury when I've visited and I've got a cousin, who I like a lot, who lives in Reading. 😹 my criteria for suggesting a location!!

That’s a good shout. It is lovely.

I don't know why everyone thinks Brighton is wonderful. It costs an arm and a leg to park there and the shops aren't that great. The Lanes is smelly and dirty

The only redeeming feature is that an Ikea is supposed to be moving in - I may just go there for that

@Purplebunnie I'm gay and it's one of the few places I feel comfortable to hold hands with my GF in public! Plus I like the vibe and being near the sea. It's definitely not for everyone though.

Lol, it's all so subjective! 🤣

@Purplebunnie sad to hear that about the Lanes. I haven’t been for 15 years, maybe more, but it was so lovely!

I didn't think of suggesting Bristol or Bath as they don't really fit with the staying close to family in the south east part of the brief. I did ask whereabouts in the south east, but haven't had an answer to that as yet.

Also may be way off, but got the idea that the OP's definition of cosmopolitan was somewhere with bars, cafes and independent shops, maybe a small theatre or indi cinema, rather than a big multi cultural vibe. The main consideration is that they're moving from a small, rural village, so it's relative.