Your recommendations for cosmopolitan living outside of London

[Kalaboom]

DH and I are looking to move from our small rural village to somewhere with a bit more buzz and more in the way of restaurants, bars, shops and community social events.

We had the kids quite young and they're about to fly the nest, meaning we have the luxury of downsizing to a more expensive area if needed and we don't need to worry about schools etc. We're barely grazing 40 and this is a sort of second lease of life for us, so we really want to find somewhere with a vibrant, welcoming community and more going on than our sleepy spot in suburbia currently offers!

London not an option and ideally we'll stay in the south east close to family.

Possible contenders include:

Marlow
Henley
St Albans
Winchester
Windsor

We'd really like it to be somewhere with a bit of charm and character as opposed to being very urban or built-up, hence the list above. Bonus points for being on a river or canal or with easy countryside access for some scenic walks with the dogs.

Am I missing anywhere else worth considering? And can anyone share first-hand experiences of what any of the above places are like? We've visited all of them regularly on days out but appreciate living there is a different matter.

Is Oxford worth adding to the list? I've heard it's not so welcoming to non-locals and can be quite cliquey...

Chichester is lovely, I'd also look at Bath maybe, further but it's lovely.

Sorry I had to laugh at the idea of the places on your list being cosmopolitan. Look up the word in a dictionary to see why.

We lived in Winchester about 10 years ago, its charming, but I wouldn't call it cosmopolitan by any means.

@PermanentTemporary the strange thing is I've lived in loads of these places- we actually lived in summertown for 2 years ( Squitchey lane) and I did like summertown a lot- my only downer on Oxford was at the time my H didn't drive ( he does now ( but I don't) and the line was forever flooding- and I found it quite spectacularly unfriendly- lots of academic totally up their arse people. Both our neighbours each side were like this too - I'm an ex northerner but we have a business and arent slouches ourselves- but I did find it not friendly- maybe I was just unlucky -!!

We've lived in Bath for past 10 years with a 2 year break in Denmark in the middle- but it's been way more mixed here and easier to find a tribe

Canterbury?

50 mins into London by train

I don’t think of any of the places you have listed as particularly cosmopolitan. Maybe I’m wrong.

Windsor is a bit grotty at times, and so busy. Lacks a soul because of the tourist side. I’d buy over the river in Eton (maybe Eton wick for bigger homes).
Oxford is similar to Windsor really. I’d definitely look on the outskirts like Witney though.
berkhamsted lovely
tring lovely, some real gems of wildlife round there.
chalfonts and Gerrards cross lovely (not sure big enough)
amersham and Chesham are lovely and leafy if you pick the right bits
St Albans, traffic drove me nuts at times. Especially at the weekend
Harpenden may fit the bill?
some Parts of Wycombe towards Oxford are nice, but not sure if they would count as busy enough for what you want.

manningtree, bishops stortford, dedham, Maldon. All really lovely places to live, if your family is the opposite side of the m25, that drive will feel long if you want to do it regularly.

I’ve done Watford, Reading, Oxford with regular trips to St Albans and Henley/Marlow. The latter are indeed boring but beautiful for trips. Oxford is £££ but close to country and bustling with culture and diversity. Found it busy but welcoming enough. Watford was more friendly but less pretty of course! I’d go for Oxford if I were you, look at headington / East for good routes in and out and a good community vibe.

Berkhamsted .
Near St Albans . Beautiful walks in chiltern hills .
Market town on a canal , train line to Euston . Lots of pubs , restaurants. Plenty of clubs to join , sports facilities . Small town but lots of community feel . Always something going on .
Quite arty.
Easy access to m25 , m1 ,m40 . Near Heathrow and Luton airports .

Lovely countryside around Marlow and Henley. Good for walking. Windsor suffers a bit in that regard due to being very close to Heathrow, Slough and the M4.

Yes, white monocultural middle class "naice" towns.

Off topic but how have you got your dc to leave home at such a young age?! 😆

None of these places are what I would call cosmopolitan. They're all very white and middle class. I'd be looking to move to a town with a significant university population and a bit more interstice appeal.

Not really cosmopolitan but close to countryside

Guildford
Esher
Epsom

Laughing at Horsham being suggested as cosmopolitan or buzzy. It's far from those. White mc, chain restaurants and very little happening. Trains to London are very unreliable. Brighton is the same line and trains are such a headache.

Guildford is great, I lived near there 20 years. Not particularly multicultural though.

I don't think any of the places listed are cosmopolitan. Bristol I agree fits the bill.

Marlow is really a small village, no real ‘buzz’ there. The parking is a pain on the high street, it’s a faff to get to London by train (have to change at Bourne end and Maidenhead) and there never seemed to be anything happening. If you have good neighbours it’d be great if you could spot in but socially I’m not sure where your local friends would come from as there was never much going on.

We moved to Henley after 2 years

I’ve heard Bath unfriendly several times 😌 We found Guildford to be similar. Lots of one upmanship and comparisons. Beware the ‘wealthy’ areas. And they certainly aren’t cosmopolitan!

I would avoid Windsor, it is directly on the flight path, there is a plane overhead every 75 seconds, you can almost see and wave to the pilots as they fly over. When eating outside in summer, you have to pause conversation, it’s that loud. Plus it’s become a haven for hen & stag parties.m since the Travel Lodge opened. Also there are no quick trains to London. You either have to go to Slough and change or endure the slow service into Waterloo.

Marlow is a lovely market town, lots of cafes, restaurants and pubs. Not cosmopolitan but pleasant.

Henley would be my preference, it has a cinema, the Kenton Theatre, lots of cafes, nice pubs and restaurants, plus a great vibe in summer with the regatta and various festivals. It also has Chilterns on doorstep for walks and cycling. Close enough to Reading for quick trains into London or to Maidenhead or Twyford for the Elizabeth Line.

St Albans and harpenden are nice but traffic laden.

I’m personally not a fan of Guildford, I think most of Surrey is rather overpriced and a bit dull.

In your shoes I would think carefully about how often you plan to go to London for theatre versus other activities, such as country walks, local dining, popping out for coffee etc. I’m not a big drinker so driving to a local train station for a trip into London or Oxford isn’t a problem for me however if it was, I would be looking at St Albans (20 mins to London) or Bray, which is close to Maidenhead.

Agree

I've heard that from other people @crikeyalmighty and I think I was lucky to move in when pregnant so met lots of people that way. Also I moved from near Winchester which I just did not gel with - I thought it was awful, monocultural with terrible transport and was bored there, though I did watch a lot of great telly and read constantly. So oxford seemed brilliant by comparison.

I do hope the OP looks at Bristol - I don't know it well but my DP does and can't say enough good about it.

Just noticed the cosmopolitan. Marlow really isn't, although it is more diverse than it was. It has turned into a bit of a busy tourist place.

It is very walkable and has loads of good walking nearby, perfect for dogs.

@PermanentTemporary I've lived there too ( with a teen and H) and hated it for different reasons - that is cosmopolitan yes - I was robbed twice in the street , burgled and every house we looked at was a scruffy mess - wouldn't live there now unless a student or had bloody low standards and didn't mind the dug if weed smell everywhere!!i I much preferred summertown !! You are right , being pregnant does kind of give you an easy immediate group I think!!

I think the OP would like Bath most of all but she's said would order to remain south east-

Yes I think your use of the word cosmopolitan has confused everyone OP as it is at odds with the places on your list. Which is fine but it might be helpful if you elaborated more on what exactly you want. With no ties or need to commute there’s no way I’d be looking at somewhere like St Albans!

Look at Newbury. Cafes, restaurants, Watermill Theatre, Races (if you like that), Annual Spring Music festival, the Corn Exchange venue (great shows) and lots of clubs and societies plus easy access to London.

Walk out of town 15 minutes and you are in open country.

Agree. St Albans has to be one of the world's most overrated places anyway and its hardly culturally exciting.