Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

[XelaM]

Just returned from a boat day trip in Greece with my teen. There were a few other families there including a French family with two little kids aged five and six. Those kids were honestly some of the "toughest" (and most well-behaved) kids I have ever come across.

To start with, I have never seen kids that age swim so well. Those tiny kids were like fish - jumping from the side of the boat and swimming with zero aids in really really deep waters. We also visited some cliffs and some jumped from the cliffs into the sea (which was SO SCARY 😱) and those little kids did that as well! Even my adventurous teen said the jump from the cliffs was scary and she couldn't believe the two little kids did it.

We were also fed freshly caught sea urchin and sea potatoes (which were an acquired taste to say the least 🤣) and I was certain the kids wouldn't try them only to see those two taking one sea urchin after another with zero complaints.

They were up for anything and you never heard a single moan or complaint out of them (unlike my 14-year-old 😏). And it's not like their parents appeared strict or disinterested - they were having fun and engaged with the kids. The kids were super friendly and chatty (when spoken to by others) but otherwise completely did their own thing not bothering anyone at all.

At the end even my teen who usually has no time for little kids was impressed and commented that "those were some hard core kids" 😅 (her words).

So clearly I went wrong in my parenting somewhere 🤪 but it made me wonder - are French kids brought up differently - maybe more independent and resilient or were those some super-human robot kids? 😁

Access to public swimming facilities is really poor (and expensive!) in large swathes of this country and school swimming lessons are a joke.

You have taken a sample of two and used that to draw a conclusion about the entire population of French children and their parents 😂. I know the kind of kids you mean though. I would love to have been raised like that.

I agree that access to swimming is really poor. Our local rivers are filthy. The swimming pool is expensive.

I lived in France for many years, where I was we found French kids have the freedom we had in the 1980s and 1990s.

They are expected to amuse themselves, keep themselves fit, eat what they're given and prioritise education and leisure equally. They are independent, tough, cultured and polite.

I work in a school where at least 6 or 7 French children come over for a “British Education”/to improve their English each year. I have worked there for 6 years.

Without exception, they tell me that our school is like a holiday camp because the teachers are friendly “and not cross” and everything is very relaxed! We have 8 periods per day, plus Sport and homework and our setting is indeed friendly but quite formal too.

I ask what their schooling is like back in France and they say it is extremely strict and relentless. Their Summer camps are more like our schools apparently! They usually ask their parents if they can stay in the UK for the rest of their schooling because they’ve enjoyed themselves so much.

Even those who come from London, who have been in French schools there, see our school as a huge departure from their system.

Thinking about it, these children have all had the following:
Great sporting ability (especially football)
Stoic attitudes
Resilience
Dry sense of humour
Great table manners

If they’re ever involved in less than positive behaviour it is usually hi-jinx related!

Bear in mind these tend to be privileged children so I can only comment on this small number.

That was absolutely fascinating OP, thanks for sharing.

French parents hit and shout in private.

I was an au pair for a French family. The only similarities I can draw were that they were excellent swimmers. Apart from that they were extremely whiney and spoiled. There are well- and poorly-behaved children in every country.

@Nadeed

"French society expects children to eat properly and eat a variety of food. The idea of suitable children foods as we have in the UK, really does not exist. Of course there are still kids with ARFID, but general fussiness is not tolerated. And most of what happens in the UK is just fussiness."

Slightly off track but I lived in Italy for a long time and it's the same there. Children actually ask for vegetables, shell fish and offal. They eat the same as adults from an early age and it is never assumed that they wouldn't. There aren't any children's meals on offer, just smaller portions. They'd be pretty pissed off and confused if you gave them baked beans and chicken nuggets. Families all eat together too. I mean, let's ask ourselves why British kids are so notably averse/horrified by fresh veg or anything with skin, bones and eyes? Basically anything that doesn't look like a chicken breast or a beefburger.

I thought you said French bread board. Sign me up!

That sounds like my east Lancashire village to be honest! Tres bien pour moi.

Last time I asked for tea in a cafe in France the waiter had a strong accent and I didn't quite catch what he said. I heard something about milk so said "Oui", and it came with HOT milk!!

only to see those two taking one sea urchin after another with zero complaints.

Hmm……I wonder how the French kids would’ve reacted if offered bread sauce …

We're just pining away for the days we were in the EU and everything was lovely. That's all. 🇪🇺

My French family are from Loire Valley, kids there ...
cycle
Are generally more active, not overweight
Not really into junk food. There is a Macdonald's but it's more like an occasional thing - maybe how it was here in the 90's.
Kids go to restaurants with adults and behave.
Learning to sail.
Helping in the family vineyards.
Picking chestnuts.
It's clean.
Horse riding.
Donkeys given sanctuary in most family homes where there is land.
Cats and dogs have space to roam.

Nearest cities - Angers, Samur, Nantes.
Nantes isn't very safe.

Some other family love in Toulon.
A bit more urban.
Dog crap on the streets.
People look a bit poorer and rougher - more immigration.
Marseille which is nearby is not very safe.

My take the good kids you met were probably from an area that has space, countryside and more of a community spirit.

I'm sure I'll be called a racist now for saying this!

I was away recently on the continent. Not many English about. What struck me was how similar the kids seemed to the kids I see at home. No idea about French particularly but I do remember the French exchange students at school being particularly awful 😂

Threads like these always make me feel quite inadequate about swimming. I take DD7 swimming at the local pool most weekends and she has weekly lessons but there's no way she would swim in the sea like that. I wish she was that good at swimming but I have no idea how to get her to that stage as we don't live near the sea or near suitable outdoor water. Any tips?

Spent this July in France and it stood out how socially engaged French children were. Meal times were calm and sociable, with all ages sitting at the table and sharing food and conversation for the entire meal. NO SCREEN drugging anywhere. Children played, talked, walked and interacted.

In fact didn't see a French child on a screen at all, hmmmmm.
Think phones were banned in French schools a few years ago, this is benefitting the whole society. A far sighted policy.

Wish we had policy makers with balls, fed up of insta/twitter policy and government.
Worth a try to rescue kids in the UK ?

I’m French and I’ll share a few anecdotes. We live and have always lived in the UK.

When the children were young we used to have live-in help/au pairs (more like aspiring nannies). They would typically stay for one or two years and we would give them references at the end. Once, a dad calls me to check references. I gave him all the positives and negatives. One of the negatives was that she was way too lenient with the kids (giving in too easily, buying them junk food, not asking them to tidy up, letting them fight or run feral, not reminding them to be polite when they weren’t…). So I told the dad I thought “she wasn’t strict enough”. His answer was “This is not a problem for me, I don’t want the aupair to discipline my children”. The dad was English.

When out in restaurants, planes, flights, hotels… We’ve been congratulated countless times for how well behaved the children were. They were very young at the time, 1-2 years appart and we had a handful... It was hard work as they’re not naturally calm children but on the opposite quite lively but this is possible. And we’ve never smacked/hit them.

Better quality education, more social lifestyles that welcomes children, expectations that you get back what you give etc. are all things that generally speaking make French kids more palatable than British ones.

These threads make me howl. I met two English/French/German children (insert nationality) and now think all children from that country are the same. WTF?

They’re all being good so when they grow up Papa will buy them a Renault Clio, just like he did for Nicole

Italian kids live on processed junk as supermarket food is rubbish there. It’s why Childhood obesity in Italy is higher than the UK and why schools focus so much on food in school.

indeed. And that ridiculous thread in Style and Beauty about dressing like a Parisienne. My eyes could not roll further back after reading that nonsense.

I take varying teas over to France - special brews from a place in Kensington as as well as more mainstream brands - they know they don't know how to make tea!
Apart from India - UK is the only country where you can get a decent tea as standard in my opinion.
In Turkey I was given apple tea with milk!