Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

[XelaM]

Just returned from a boat day trip in Greece with my teen. There were a few other families there including a French family with two little kids aged five and six. Those kids were honestly some of the "toughest" (and most well-behaved) kids I have ever come across.

To start with, I have never seen kids that age swim so well. Those tiny kids were like fish - jumping from the side of the boat and swimming with zero aids in really really deep waters. We also visited some cliffs and some jumped from the cliffs into the sea (which was SO SCARY 😱) and those little kids did that as well! Even my adventurous teen said the jump from the cliffs was scary and she couldn't believe the two little kids did it.

We were also fed freshly caught sea urchin and sea potatoes (which were an acquired taste to say the least 🤣) and I was certain the kids wouldn't try them only to see those two taking one sea urchin after another with zero complaints.

They were up for anything and you never heard a single moan or complaint out of them (unlike my 14-year-old 😏). And it's not like their parents appeared strict or disinterested - they were having fun and engaged with the kids. The kids were super friendly and chatty (when spoken to by others) but otherwise completely did their own thing not bothering anyone at all.

At the end even my teen who usually has no time for little kids was impressed and commented that "those were some hard core kids" 😅 (her words).

So clearly I went wrong in my parenting somewhere 🤪 but it made me wonder - are French kids brought up differently - maybe more independent and resilient or were those some super-human robot kids? 😁

That's what I mean. That implies some degree of judgement, even if positive. The reality is that if children aren't causing a nuisance to you (if they are, do complain to the parents), their behaviour is none of your business. Family meals out aren't some kind of spectator sport for bored bystanders, where even complete strangers get to weigh in with an opinion.

Am I allowed to go up to adults in restaurants and compliment them on their behaviour? "It's so nice to see that you can both hold your cutlery correctly, dears. And lovely that you're both dressed appropriately. So many people these days think it's ok to sit down for dinner in shorts or jeans." They'd think I was completely mad.

As for manners, French children are taught to be polite, not interrupt adults, behave at table and at table, not running around screaming. Learn to eat and appreciate different food at home and in school. School is stricter and you are expected to be polite and respect adults. Swimming is taught in school from 6 years old.
But France has cultural differences as well with immigration from former colonies where education is more laid back. As for food they have the same problems as in the UK; you can see differences in diet related to socioeconomic factors. Child obesity is a problem mainly in low income households with patents with limited education levels. The ministery of public health publishes surveys regularly to show this link.

the reality is that if children aren't causing a nuisance to you

The whole point of this thread is discussing if French children are generally better behaved than UK kids who frequently are a nuisance to others and questioning why that is......

What constitutes a nuisance though? If the standard of "nuisance" for children is that you realise they are there at all, then I'm not sure that's something to aspire to for either French or English parents.

I think you just need to read the thread to be honest. You might not agree with it or understand other people's perspectives but you'll get the gist.

What is it with the generalisation and fawning over the French on MN? If you went to the beach in Cornwall for example and met a seemingly ‘perfect’ family you wouldn’t simply assume that the rest of England behaves in the exact same way..

How patronising. I have RTWT. Some of it I agree with and recognise, some of it I disagree with.

What’s the view in Australian kids and those from singapore? I only ask as we were in a bar years ago in Singapore with our then six year old daughter having a drink before the fireworks started , this Aussie came over said how well behaved she was and did she want an ice cream, he then qualified that he owned the bar. I remember thinking really , what do you usually see from children.

But you wouldn’t have chosen a not nice environment for your holiday though so not sure that’s right. There will be some deprived areas but I assume you wouldn’t choose to holiday there.

Agree with this, the Dutch are always worst behaved on holidays & the kids rude in general barging past & skipping queues for the slides for example even the teenagers..

So watching a film you are fine with people talking, running round, kicking your seat? That would annoy me far more than in a restaurant. It one of those amazing things on MN where you find people who don't feel the same as you, so you are happy in a noisy cinema or theatre and I'm not. There are threads on here where people moan like mad about children on trains and planes.

I haven't made it to Australia yet, sadly, but if we formed our views from Bluey (much beloved of parents in the UK), we'd probably say how wonderfully empathetically they are parented and how much fun they seem to have 😂.

So you aren't going to admit that what you said in the previous post was untrue. Interesting.

Once again I never said all British kids had easy access to the beach but of course not all French children do either.

Have you got the figures for the extremely small minority? What qualifies as a small minority? How close to a beach do you need to be, a short walk, a long walk, a bus ride? You do know there are British cities on the coast, Plymouth, Portsmouth, Brighton, Liverpool, Newcastle to name but a few and of course many large towns like Bournemouth. Wales has Cardiff, Swansea and Newport all on the coast. Plenty of British kids live within easy access to beaches. Then you have the Isle of Wight, I suppose you will tell us kids there have no access to beaches.

I doubt there are kids in Brighton who have never seen the sea. If I walk down to my local beach there are frequently local schools there, little ones running round, older ones doing projects about the coast. I can't imagine Brighton teachers don't do the same so even if kids don't get taken to the beach by family I think most will have seen the sea.

To end there are French and British kids who live near the sea, who don't live near the sea, who are good swimmers and who can't swim, who are well behaved and badly behaved.

Exactly and the other way round ie. if I take GC and some of their friends out I might sit reading a book while they chat.

Absolutely, books, sticker books, puzzles, games, toys and (horror of horrors!) the occasional electronic device all feature in our meals out or cafe trips. Sometimes my older one asks specifically if we can go out to our local cafe round the corner to get in some uninterrupted board game time (I'm not great for setting aside times to play board games at home). And I am definitely guilty of using time that I'm out with DC and their friends to do admin!

More palatable😂😂😂

Recent thread also on AIBU about how holidays in France were considered much more upmarket compared to Spain & Portugal. Most agreed it was because France has no all inclusive or high rise tourist properties so impossible to get a cheap package deal. The love for France on that thread was off the scale 😂

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5148107-aibu-to-not-understand-why-france-is-considered-more-upmarket-than-spain-or-portugal?page=1

I don’t think it’s just French kids. We had a break in a small Italian city with DD and it was noticeable how well-behaved the Italian kids were in restaurants. No screens, engaging with their parents, no (apparent) whinging or issues.

To be fair, DD is generally very good in that setting but I think she took a bit of something from the other kids in the restaurant, as she was absolutely perfect.

Anecdotal obviously.

Conversely my teen DD had a really uncomfortable time with groups of boys in various Italian cities, and badly behaved groups of teen boys on public transport - even accompanied by teachers - was a feature of most cities we visited on a touring trip this year. Also anecdotal obviously. I have seen groups of badly behaved British boys on public transport of course but the norm in my experience is that they are mostly considerate and noticeably well behaved, so much so that I have contacted schools to let them know I was impressed more than once (because I do think teen boys can't win sometimes).

Seasoned correctly, French children make a very acceptable main. Unlike British children, who have to be boiled for hours and even then they're a bit gristly 😂.

Les rosbif!

Precisement.

Think you get "good kids" from every country. Dd aupaired for a French mum, middle eastern dad. Mum was very keen to instill clear behaviour standards, wide range of food to be tried etc. Dad was very laid back and the kids knew they could get away with murder with him. One of the boys has a mild behaviour problem and mum was really struggling with how he wasn't totally compliant with her rules.
I remember being in a crepe restaurant years ago with my three (who behaved well) and they were gobsmacked at the perfectly turned out and exceedingly polite the boys at the next table were. In fact they for the rest of the hol they loved teasing me by going "pardon mama, excuse moi papa"

are French kids brought up differently

I'd say certainly regarding food and eating in restaurants. I know it's said so often on MN but it's true, even the smallest of children sit quietly and eat, so much so that if you didn't see them you'd not know they were there.

Family groups come in and sit down, no faffing changing seats, complaining, whining - there is quiet conversation and no fuss.