Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

[XelaM]

Just returned from a boat day trip in Greece with my teen. There were a few other families there including a French family with two little kids aged five and six. Those kids were honestly some of the "toughest" (and most well-behaved) kids I have ever come across.

To start with, I have never seen kids that age swim so well. Those tiny kids were like fish - jumping from the side of the boat and swimming with zero aids in really really deep waters. We also visited some cliffs and some jumped from the cliffs into the sea (which was SO SCARY 😱) and those little kids did that as well! Even my adventurous teen said the jump from the cliffs was scary and she couldn't believe the two little kids did it.

We were also fed freshly caught sea urchin and sea potatoes (which were an acquired taste to say the least 🤣) and I was certain the kids wouldn't try them only to see those two taking one sea urchin after another with zero complaints.

They were up for anything and you never heard a single moan or complaint out of them (unlike my 14-year-old 😏). And it's not like their parents appeared strict or disinterested - they were having fun and engaged with the kids. The kids were super friendly and chatty (when spoken to by others) but otherwise completely did their own thing not bothering anyone at all.

At the end even my teen who usually has no time for little kids was impressed and commented that "those were some hard core kids" 😅 (her words).

So clearly I went wrong in my parenting somewhere 🤪 but it made me wonder - are French kids brought up differently - maybe more independent and resilient or were those some super-human robot kids? 😁

Just come back from holiday in the South of France and didn’t find the French children any better behaved. We stayed where there was a mix of French, German, Dutch, Belgium and British children. The Dutch were the worst behaved definitely.

Also the Mumsnet stereotype of French women being slim and polished did not ring true either.

I’m French and yes, I think so. They aren’t always ‘better’ but on the whole they are better behaved, more active, and eat better.

We have high expectations of behaviour in some circumstances and some things are non-negotiable.

None of my French friends have babies that weren’t sleeping at 10 months, or NT kids that didn’t eat veg, they can all sit through an adult meal at a restaurant without screens and noise. We play games, chat, are very well connected as a family, but we are also the parents and they respect that role.

I know this will get me flamed, but that’s honestly my experience.

I do also meet many British kids that behave well and they’re the one’s whose parents have similar parenting style.

My kids swim like that, but because we swim a lot. And will try most things at least once (2 out of 3 will at least).

They're not fans of speaking to people however

I wonder what happens to all the French autistic kids who can't be all nice in public? Oh yeah hidden away.

French society expects children to eat properly and eat a variety of food. The idea of suitable children foods as we have in the UK, really does not exist. Of course there are still kids with ARFID, but general fussiness is not tolerated. And most of what happens in the UK is just fussiness.

but we are also the parents and they respect that role

I think this is the crux.

It is not that French children are better behaved. French parents are better at parenting and are not afraid to step up to their role.

We had a shared pool and the English and Dutch kids were all bloody annoying the French ones were not. Played quietly and didn’t whine or squawk.

You need to google Maggie Smith on this!!

I meant they aren't very tolerant about SEN in France. That isn't a good thing.

I also met a family like that in France.... but they were from Swansea 😂

They can also sit and eat round a table and behave suitably because they are used to it. Meals every day are eaten at the table with the family. This used to be the case in the UK, but is now not.
French society also makes a big deal out of the fact that everyone should acknowledge others. So even very young children are expected to say hello to their parents friends and family. Our children do not do that as we don't expect it from them.

In France most parents seem to use controlled crying, so children do sleep through at a young age.

I can’t comment on behaviour as I think that varies family to family. But I do think in general, English children are poor swimmers in comparison to many other nationalities

I think that the general attitude to food, and the diet in general is very important. The French seem to understand this.

The,weekly The UK is,terrible at everything thread including bringing g up kids 🙄

I’ve just remembered some French parenting I witnessed in Evian that I found sweetly amusing. We were at a play park. My own little girl was in scruffy leggings and a T shirt, while the French girls were in ‘Sunday best’ type outfits- beautiful dresses and smart patent shoes. They were allowed to go on the slide, but their mothers often brushed them down and straightened up their collars etc, while my own child was covered in dust and ice cream by this point and looked neglected. 😂 Looking well-turned out was obviously a priority for these French families, while my main motivation was to tire my child out. Evian is (or was at the time) quite a smart and somewhat old-fashioned town- lots of older ladies in full fur coats with tiny dogs in prams etc so I don’t know whether what I saw was typical of French families or just particular to that area.

Same here! Angelic when with their parents, demons when not! Wildly generalising I know but something that has been noticed by a few of the activity providers 😉

The comment about France being shit for cyclists is wrong. Dh cycled the entire length of France without one unpleasant incident he gets shouted at about 3 times a ride 4 hour ride in England by Jeremy Clarkson wannabe twats.

The idealisation of French children is reminding me of the time my brother and I were pushed off a see saw in a town square by French children when we were 5 and 6. Little sods. 😡

I’ve lived and worked in France and speak fluent French.
French culture is less geared towards pandering to kids. They don’t really have “kid’s food”. They tend to have less toys. Teenagers tend to mix more freely amongst the sexes. Teenaged girls don’t tend to wear a lot of makeup or revealing clothes. Physical exercise is more revered, and kids are expected to fit in with parents. Obviously there are exceptions!

French food is so much nicer... the fruit and veg is fresher and tastes better and the processed food is more expensive so I think that all has an impact on choices. It's not just mindset.

I’d be up for a daily French thread board!

I do think French children are probably quite active on the whole as sport activities seem cheap and easy to access.

Tricky one this - part of me agrees and another (patriotic part?) doesn’t. Our neighbours are French and their children are pretty well behaved it must be said.
But I live in a town with lots of international students and the French teenagers always seem very loud (the Spanish even more so). I might just be being an old cow but they’re not perfect!
With regard to being plucky my youngest adores stuff like coasteering and is very brave. But that is just her nature - not sure you can put that trait down to nurture.

DD lived in Portugal until she was 7. She will eat most things including oysters and sea barnacles. She also spent much of the time in the summer in a pool. There were no children's menus in the restaurants we used to take her to so she ate the same as we did.

I think this does make a difference and also school meals. The school lunches that DD describes sound awful. She has asked if she can start taking packed lunches next term.

Yep, grew up in Brighton and if I used that as my benchmark, all European kids are rude little brats who enjoy causing criminal damage, smoking and shoplifting! Especially the French ones 😂