Are French kids brought up differently to kids in England or were these just some super kids we met on holiday?

[XelaM]

Just returned from a boat day trip in Greece with my teen. There were a few other families there including a French family with two little kids aged five and six. Those kids were honestly some of the "toughest" (and most well-behaved) kids I have ever come across.

To start with, I have never seen kids that age swim so well. Those tiny kids were like fish - jumping from the side of the boat and swimming with zero aids in really really deep waters. We also visited some cliffs and some jumped from the cliffs into the sea (which was SO SCARY 😱) and those little kids did that as well! Even my adventurous teen said the jump from the cliffs was scary and she couldn't believe the two little kids did it.

We were also fed freshly caught sea urchin and sea potatoes (which were an acquired taste to say the least 🤣) and I was certain the kids wouldn't try them only to see those two taking one sea urchin after another with zero complaints.

They were up for anything and you never heard a single moan or complaint out of them (unlike my 14-year-old 😏). And it's not like their parents appeared strict or disinterested - they were having fun and engaged with the kids. The kids were super friendly and chatty (when spoken to by others) but otherwise completely did their own thing not bothering anyone at all.

At the end even my teen who usually has no time for little kids was impressed and commented that "those were some hard core kids" 😅 (her words).

So clearly I went wrong in my parenting somewhere 🤪 but it made me wonder - are French kids brought up differently - maybe more independent and resilient or were those some super-human robot kids? 😁

Of course , there will be all kinds of kids in France, and all types of parents.

But yes,I've heard this before. French parents have typically stronger boundaries, I believe.

Much like most countries than?
That are not land locked.

I've no idea but it's weird tbh. We were friends with a French family when I was a kid - we met them because their son ran into our table at full pelt in a restaurant 🤣 But our parents got chatting and we ended up being friends for years. One of the boys would eat anything, the other appeared to survive on chocolate and pastries. Both were very polite and easy going on days out, but tbh so were my brother and I so I didn't think of it as a French thing at all. It was before the days of tablets and smart phones, but we stayed with them a few times and during some of the loooooong meals they'd have, all us kids would have the option of taking our desert to the living room to chill with the telly while the adults kept talking - this was clearly a regular thing, not just because we were there.

Ma’am, if you aren’t able to detect sarcasm, you should stick to Reddit.

In France this summer a few weeks ago and there were two British families, 2 mums, 2 dads and a number of their kids from 2 to 9 years old at an upmarket campsite restaurant. The parents were sloshed, lots of empties on the table. The kids were running around the restaurant which was outside it's true, but so very loud, screaming, shouting, running past other people's tables. Parents completely ignored them, kids didn't care either, all oblivious to other diners and the impact they were having. I was so embarrassed. What is about British people getting drunk and behaving like arses?

The school system is rigid and longest hours in Europe. Hardcore. They get used to discipline and rigidity to some extent.

We use to holiday in France every summer when I was a teen. The French kids at the kids club had amazing cooking skills from a young age. Yes they appeared to be fearless in water and were always well behaved and sat for their looonnngggg evening meals for ages. (This was ore screens too)

The Dutch kids always had amazing English (apparently they have a lots of American TV programmes) They also seemed to be given much more independence from a younger age. (4/5)

But this was back when every child had more independence at a younger age than they do today! (7/8)

We do a yearly residential in France with year 6 and the French kids wherever we stay are atrociously behaved! They have very little supervision from their teachers and run riot. They are rude and disdainful. Our children were impeccable. However, the French children do eat what’s in front of them unlike our fine-mouthed charges!

And look at how badly behaved a lot of Scottish teens are. The Scottish system doesn't work.

My response was to a post claiming that British kids in general have easy coastal access. Which they very clearly don't.

😬

There are kids living on estates in Brighton who’ve never even seen the sea!

With regards to swimming, obviously plenty of French children don’t live anywhere near the sea or a lake, but my experience of my visits to France was that the local municipal swimming pools were excellent- and cheap!

Just generally, local sports facilities- like public basketball courts, football grounds etc for amateur teams and kids’ teams tend to be better and more plentiful in France (as well as Germany, Norway and Spain, from what I’ve seen).

With regard to the sea urchins, I do think the French have a very different culture around food and it’s instilled from a young age. Right from crèche children are exposed to sophisticated tastes and textures and learn to appreciate it. Food is a whole topic of conversation and meals are social events with a whole etiquette and culture around them, not functional pit stops for fuel. Obviously not always - but I still think it’s an important pillar of French life (and a source of pride).

Yes I remember one of my dd’s starting maternelle and asking if she could just do mornings to start; and getting a gentle ticking off from the directrice; lunch being one of the most important learning experiences of the day!

When I was growing up in the ‘80s French kids had a reputation for being appallingly behaved, especially when in school groups. On ferries to and from France it was French kids who were rude and entitled. At campsites it was french kids who would ruin games. At tourist spots on trips with school it was French kids who would be running riot, not listening to their teachers and making everyone else’s lives more difficult. School exchanges had parents wanting the German kids, not the French ones.

That seems to have changed?

I wonder if they grew up to reject that and bring their own kids up differently just as Brits moved into bringing their own kids up to be less well behaved? (And so, in another 30-40 years it will have swapped again…)

We once stopped off at a French ‘Aire’ to eat our pre-prepared baguette sandwiches from foil packages. Meanwhile a French family laid out a table cloth on their bench, and then the table was laid with baskets of bread, a board of cheese and meats etc, tomatoes- and a bottle of wine! 😂 They don’t fuck about when it comes to meals!

This is a possibility that I was thinking of.
We live in southern Europe, not far from the coast in a village.
Many of the kids would be as you as describe at this age. Confident swimmers who eat seafood regularly😆

French kids definitely watching iPhones and iPads on the table whilst eating their breakfast and dinner in the hotel we just have just stayed in all week. Definitely eating chocolate donuts and chips just like all the other nationality children there, definitely had their share of whinging and whining in public too 😆

True, my middle aged French DH still refuses to eat certain food and vegetables due to being forced to eat them for school lunch.

I’ll be eaten alive for this but…

I’m not British and I think that, generally, British (and American- you’re not alone!) children are seen as difficult/spoilt/badly raised. While this is a massive generalization, it’s one I have definitely personally observed.

Where are you from?

Maybe some of us have got 'massive generalisations' to make about the kids from your country too?

Confident swimmers who eat seafood regularly😆

Possibly simultaneously

I'd agree with what previous posters said - kids tend to be well behaved because parents and teachers rule with an iron fist. This explains why, as soon as this threat is gone, for e.g. when on a school trip to Britain, or as part of a group of teens on the street, they let go and are rude.
I was partly brought up there and I confirm the ' teaching' was mostly threats, shouting and talking down. Many kids were petrified of their teachers and there really was no instilling a love for learning. Fear of stepping out of line, combined to what was effectively rote learning, meant creativity was not encouraged.
On the other hand, my experience of British schools was that teachers aimed for a less hierarchical approach based on dialogue, and that really aimed to develop critical thinking and creativity. I do find this translates into British people (i.e. adults) being more creative. Suffice to say, that sort of teaching is much harder - no wonder teachers here are on their knees (and yes, I'm aware that there are other elements at play!). I find people in this country overly critical of the educational system but it may be because I experienced much worse.

To come back to hierarchy, this was also visible at family level, not just schools, hence more polite kids overall. However I can't seem to think bonds can't be that strong between parents and children?

I do however wonder if we didn't go too far in the opposite direction here. I can't abide the kids running around in restaurants, or watching films on tablets on trains etc. Perhaps a happy medium would be better.

Nerve has been touched.