Dinner times at grandparents'

[applestrudels]

If you had very young grandchildren (under 5), who usually ate dinner at 5pm, whereas you normally ate dinner between 8 and 9pm, and then you invited your grandchildren, along with their parents, to stay at your house for a few days, would you try and make the children's dinner at 5pm, or would you stick to your normal routine of dinner anywhere between 8 and 9pm, or would you compromise (so, 6 or 7pm)?

YANBU: I would try and make dinner earlier, at least for the children
YABU: My house, my rules. Dinner is at MY usual time.

Either dinner earlier for everyone, or feed the grandchildren at their usual time and the adults later. Definitely wouldn't make children eat as late as 8pm.

I’d talk to the parents about what they wanted to do. Generally though, if people come to stay and are being offered a meal, that meal happens whenever I am able to cook it. I definitely wouldn’t serve food for everyone at 5pm (even my own under 5’s never ate dinner at 5pm).

But if people come to visit us, I always say they are welcome to bring anything they want to cook specially for their dc and they can use the kitchen to prepare that if they’re hungry outside of a usual mealtime. This is what we always did visiting grandparents and then dc would just join in for the main dinner too or one of us would be putting them to bed while the other ate.

I'd do dinner by 6ish. You can't make under 5s wait until 8/9 to eat

A good host would bend over backwards to feed the children at their regular time

I’d ask the parents what works for their kids and do that.

Most of the time it seems to be very young kids eat early and then adults eat after the children are in bed, but will entirely depend on the individuals.

5PM is absurdly early for dinner!

Yeah I agree with this.

Ask parents what works best. I wouldn’t take my young children for dinner if it wasn’t going to be served until 8-9pm, they’d have been in bed by that time.

Early tea for little ones then eat at a later time with the adults

6.30 for all. I can't understand eating so late myself, not good for digestion!

I wouldn't be able to eat that late, never mind expect children to. I have lunch around 12, so that's 8 or 9 hours until my next meal.

Oh god, I remember having this with my dad. Could not or would not comprehend the fact that tiny children couldn’t wait till 7 pm for their dinner or that if they had to, a substantial savoury snack would be required mid afternoon.

Used to really grate as the reason he wanted it at 7 was to fit in a few beers beforehand.

My Mum who was the one cooking didn’t mind moving it but he got in such a sulk if anyone tried. The kind of man who will keep harking back and complaining if he doesn’t get his way, so it can’t just be that was how it panned out, he’d have to go on and on about how it was too early to eat.

Feed the kids at their usual time, adults eat later.

I would talk to the parents and if easier let them cook at the normal time for the children.

I usually eat at 8:30 so I wouldn’t like to eat at 5pm.

I absolutely wouldn’t expect under 5s to eat at 8:30 and would be happy to move forward to 7 or alternatively cook something for DGC earlier. But it would be unreasonable to expect adults to eat at 5pm

We all eat here early, but often have lunch at 11.30 and dinner at 4.45 if the kids are hungry. Whatever suits the kids is good for us

Based on my ILs, dinner would be at 8/8.30 but we would be welcome to raid the cupboards to make something earlier for the youngest. 5+ and they would be expected to stay up.

My guess is that you're the parent getting ammo for your in-laws who aren't prepared to all eat at 5.

In my 20s I finished work at 6pm and had over an hour's commute so I got used to eating at 8pm or later. Tea on the table at 5 is dependent on someone being home in the afternoon which isn't very common these days.

Are they aware the children eat that early? I’m assuming you’re one of the parents in this situation; if the grandparents weren’t eating until late why didn’t you (or your partner if staying with ILs) either say something or make something for the kids yourselves? I can’t imagine not being comfortable enough in my own parents house to rustle something up for a toddler.

I'd do the kids dinner at their usual time of 5ish (or ask their parents to cook for them at that time), but then I would do the adults meal at around 8ish. Thats how I brought up my DC as I couldnt eat as early as them but they definitely needed to eat at that time.

But, I would clarify dinner timings with my DC before they arrived so everyone knew what the plan was and was happy with it.

As long as the children aren't refused snacks to keep them going I wouldn't have had a problem giving my kids a later than normal dinner if it suited the hosts. It's not something I'd hold against them. As host, not sure, I'm quite unorganised so cooking for everyone for 5 would be tricky.

I would speak to the parents. We have the kids but in our house in that situation we would feed the children at 5 and the adults would eat later. There's no way the kids (nor I) could wait that long to eat and I'd have them in bed well before that!

Grandma here! Children fed at very close to their normal time. Parents can choose to eat then, or later. Or offered to babysit so parents can go out for a meal.

I expect a decent host to realise that most under 5s are in bed at that dinner time (which is also probably preferable for the adults). If host appeared oblivious - or deliberately obtuse - I would offer to make a children's tea at 5ish.

Every time I have had my grandchildren round for a meal I have fed them according to their timetable
Actually though we don't have a fixed meal time. I think it's important to be flexible and I would always put guests first
If the grandparents can't eat at that time they should at least feed the children earlier.
Tired , hungry and grumpy children are a recipe for disaster!