Can't be bothered to cook for son

[palmtreesands]

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

Him paying £400 doesn't mean anything, since when do landlords make tenants food? He's an adult and can cook himself, or you make prep meals and freeze them

What’s happening once the baby arrives? I assume they’ll be some food in the fridge then?!

You need (all of you, not just you) to be more organised.

2/3 of the fridge and of the freezer for you and your DP.

1/3 for adult DS.

Meal plan at the start of each week and one of you go to the shop and buy whats on the list.

If people who drink beer want cold beer then they'll need to get a beer fridge and put it somewhere suitable.

THEN it would be possible to take it in turns to cook some evenings (perhaps cooking enough for left overs to take for lunch the next day).

If you don't sort this out now, I really don't know how you'll cope when theres a small child added to the household!

What would they say if you asked them to remove some of the beer?

Agree you need to sort this out now. You are not going to want to run to the shops every day when your stepson gets in from work when you have your baby.

I usually get home and there's nothing so I have to go to the shop and think of something for him to have and I find it so frustrating.

You sound like a student who has just left home. How do you not know if you've got stuff in to cook a meal? Why do you have to think what he'll want?
I got my son involved in meal planning a long time ago.

Would he eat a massive salad?

Eh? I've eaten a cooked meal almost every day of the year, what, do you just live on salads and sandwiches for the entirety of summer?

Pretty much yes, picky tea in the summer. I don't fancy a hot dinner in the summer nor do I fancy cooking one.
I don't eat rubbish, I eat fruit and yogurt for breakfast and cold meats and salad or sandwiches and wraps for lunch and picky bits during the day fruit, nuts and crackers.
I really don't see the obsession with a hot home made dinner every evening if that's not what you want.
I'm a grazer by nature and I'm hungry at midday not waiting until evening time.

The poor lad.

He's paying you £100 a week -for what? Hot water and breakfast?

Do you really expect him not to eat dinner?

You get a bigger fridge (but there are only 3 of you so how is a normal fridge not big enough?)

He's your SON and living at home.

How old is he?

Do you really expect a teen/ young adult male to live on lettuce?

Honestly, you sound very selfish.

Has he been to uni or gone straight into work?

Whichever, you can compromise by buying what he needs for a decent meal and he can learn to cook.

He's not her son. He's her partner's son.

Her partner isn't cooking anything, is he?

And the OP is 34 weeks pregnant, too.

There are three adults in the house. How come she has to be the one who does the cooking?

I usually get home and there's nothing so I have to go to the shop and think of something for him to have and I find it so frustrating.

Has online shopping passed you by?

You could do an online weekly order, get it delivered, plans meals and it's sorted.

Honestly, you sound so uncaring.

Why is she the selfish one?
They have a fridge but it's full of the husband and sons beer so there's not enough room for food.

Get them to Buy a beer fridge (put in DS bedroom or garage). Make some batch cooked meals with some of the meat in the freezer. Spag bol, casseroles etc, make up into one person portions. Buy some bags of frozen veg. Include some aunt Bessie potatoes. Buy or make cauliflower cheese for side dishes.

if not got an airfyer buy the £30 one from Argos, (does a fab small portion of chips or frozen potatoes in no time).

I cook a Sainsburys small ham in my small air fryer (take an hour), we have it hot with roasties one day, cold as ham egg and chips another. Useful for sandwiches. Frozen peas and beans are my goto veg. We have one manic week every month and I plan for it. Go through your freezer and chuck or use the odd and ends.

make the effort that there’s room for you to buy DS food and then ask him to cook it. He just needs to be a bit organised and get something out of the freezer he wants for his evening meal. Won’t hurt for him to learn these skills for when he leaves home.

(I have a Lakeland meat slicer I’ve had for years and it slices the ham joint perfectly. I get loads, not sure if they still do them though. )

You are going to need a fridge when the baby comes anyway.

They don’t eat picky bits.

I’d buy a fridge a put a sign on it that it’s for food.

What about his father? Why are you blaming her when she works and is heavily pregnant?

Instead of taking to an online forum OP you need to sit down as a family and come up with a solution.

If he's paying you £100 a week you need to use that for his food.
Expecting a growing lad to live off lettuce and 'bits' is just ridiculous.
You surely know that?

What does he eat for lunch?

You don't have to cook.
He can cook or your partner can.

But as a family you need to meal plan for the week, do an online order, batch cook (one of you!) and get organised.

Well sort out the fridge so he has a set space for beer and food, perhaps buy a small beer fridge separately.

Reduce rent by £100 a month and he cooks for himself.

Your other thread today says you are 34 weeks pregnant??? Surely you can tell dh and ds to clear the beer from the fridge

Or just keep some of the beer in the fridge. Like a few cans at a time.

Wow. You're being horrible.

OP said he would but she won’t let him store any of his own food in the house whilst charging him to be fed but then not actually wanting to feed him.

It's hard to believe that in this day and age someone is so disorganised that they can't use online deliveries and plan meals.

OP if you want to be like this, fine, but tell your stepson and his Dad that they need to order food and cook it.

@palmtreesands

And what heat? It's barely been above 20 this summer. Anyway they eat hot food in India everyday!