Can't be bothered to cook for son

[palmtreesands]

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

£400 is much less than he would pay in rent elsewhere. And he would be 100% responsible for making sure there was food there for him to prepare and eat. Time for him to grow up. Stop getting him food, making him food, going out. Explain if he does not like it he can move out. Tell him he is paying far less than he would elsewhere and needs to understand that.

MN really is an odd place. Some threads will have masses of people telling the OP that their adult children MUST pay rent while others will have masses of people saying the opposite!!

Of course, each family will do what works for them, but it’s such a shame when someone is putting up with something that doesn’t work for them.

I also don’t think it does much good for the adult children that are being infantilised forever. Families should be supporting each other and that includes all adults pulling their weight however that works.

you way sounds fairly balanced

PS. Why is your DH not involved in this. He is a massive twat if he thinks this is ok.

This is such a non problem?! Youve made it a problem by charging him for food. Just reduce the amount he pays you and ask him to plan, buy and cook his own meals from now on. Problem solved! If there's not enough room in the fridge you obviously need a new one. If Dh and Ds use all the space to store beer and snacks explain the issue to them and tell them to find a solution amongst themselves.

The set up seems odd? I don’t know anyone who never has an evening meal because they eat at work. I think you should get a bigger fridge so he can store his own food. It’s fine if you don’t want to cook, but it’s not fair that he can’t store food and if you’re pregnant, will you not need a bigger fridge eventually anyway? The colder months are around the corner, perhaps invest in a slow cooker and do some family meals in there so they are ready for when you finish work?

Did you miss the part where he’s not allowed to buy his own food as they have nowhere to store it? 😂 what is he meant to do!

I'd get a load of microwave dinners and pizzas, for him. Make sure there is bread, ham/cheese and crisps for him to make for lunches.

The OP is being ludicrous. The son is working all day and not able to get a meal at home as he’s not permitted to store food so he can cook when he comes in, the OP doesn’t buy food (for him?) or cook in the evening. The son is left with no option except shop on way home then cook on arrival, get a takeaway, Go out to dinner.

A bit crap really. What does the OP consider a realistic course of action?

What age is he?
Take the beers out of the fridge and put the food in there. And if they refuse to allow you to do that then the food issue is their problem. Give him back whatever amount was supposed to be for food and tell him to pick up his own food on the way back from work.

I think you (all) need to prioritise your son's evening meal. He's happy to cook himself so you being in a pickle about that is a non-issue.
You all need to discuss what he'll cook, what ingredients he needs and who will buy it. He's living there so is entitled to fridge and freezer space.
It just sounds like none of you can be bothered with each other.

The husband and son have the whole fridge full of beer apparently.

Surely the husband and son are equally or even more ludicrous? They fill the fridge with beer and so it's the OP's problem that there's nowhere for them to store food?

Can’t you batch cook things that freeze well like chillis, Bolognese’s, stews etc or just meal prep things like chicken, rice, veg, salmon etc

That's only £100 per week. Presumably he doesn't pay any bills - that would cost him a lot more than £100 per week.

How old is he now? You haven't said.

They need to buy a beer fridge!
My sons had one in their rooms for this reason Cans of coke though not beer!

Do you mean: can't he batch cook...?

And maybe he could take his beer out of the fridge so that he could store it.

Eh? I've eaten a cooked meal almost every day of the year, what, do you just live on salads and sandwiches for the entirety of summer?

Have you only recently moved in with your partner and his son or something? You say they used to have a lot of takeaways. Maybe it’s your set up. You are not in the habit of making a meal for the family.

If you are exhausted you can always get a delivery once a week or even every few days. We do a delivery within an hour when I can’t face going to the shops again.

I think you have to either reduce rent money on the understanding that he will buy and cook his own food (and let him store in the fridge) or have food in for him if that's supposed to be covered by his money. I can't figure out what you actually expect him to do.

And this is her husbands son.

And the age of this man who expects a woman to cook for him.

Where do you live where it’s still too hot to cook? It was hot earlier in the summer but starting to get colder now, I had the fire on yesterday as it was a bit chilly! 😂

This is bizarre on so many levels.

Ah so he's the step-son. That makes sense now.

There was a thread the other day about another step-mum who refused to cook for her step-son and made him go and buy his dinner with his own money.

No wonder some step-mums get such a bad name.

27C here in Essex. The house stays cool though and I will be cooking.
My teenager won't entertain any notions of 'just have a salad'.

If it was just me I would not cook.