These teachers and their questionable choices

[Whitesparkled123]

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

I concur! It’s strange.

Alcohol is not illegal, drugs are, as teachers we are expected to uphold the law, if we do not our regulatory body can disqualify us from holding a teaching position. Its that simple.

I am high up in one of those professions and let me tell you, drugs would have you sacked. Do you really think police go to raves and take drugs on their days off? Christ

Have I entered some parallel fucking universe??? Shocked by the amount of posters telling OP to mind her own business!

I am a teacher and this is absolutely a safeguarding concern. If I knew for a fact that a parent was doing class a drugs whilst they had their children in their care I would be obliged to report it to the safeguarding lead.

I'm sure that they would. And they would be right.

OP is BU because she has "concerns" but doesn't want to do anything about them , except gossip and moan how terrible these women/teachers are.

Do you really think there are no doctors/police out there who take drugs?
And that raves audiences are uniquely made up of young drug addicts (and teachers 😂)?

Even if it is class A, unless they have a history of drugs offences the likelihood is that they wouldn’t be prosecuted for first offence. I saw recently that only 1 in 7 people in some areas are prosecuted if found in possession of class A drugs for personal use.

Also I do know of instances where if one parent takes weed/ a pill the other stays clean that night so they are in charge of the kids. Again, not ideal, I wouldn’t do it but is it really that much worse than both parents being off their faces drunk at home?

I agree, if you think the kids are at risk make a safeguarding report, but if you don’t want to do that there’s really nothing else to get worked up about. You know about these instances but I bet other teachers your kids have had have done the same, been to orgies, had sex in club toilets, watched porn, stolen something, driven dangerously, abused their partners etc. Personally I’d probably rather a bit of recreational drug use than being a member of reform or some of the other examples but the whole issue is that if we expect teachers to live like nuns/ monks then there probably wouldn’t be any teachers!

You do realise that the reason why all of the programmes about schools (Bad Education, Sex Education, Waterloo Road etc) are so popular is that they are pretty realistic!!

I would be obliged to report it to the safeguarding lead

Yep. And you’d be required to state exactly how you’d heard. AND you’d be required to not gossip about it.

Just this really OP. Nothing else is relevant here...take your 'evidence' and report it.

I am a teacher, and if I had REAL concerns about the safeguarding of another teacher's children, I would not hesitate to report it.

Their job title is not a factor here...the safety of any child is the only concern you should have.

Ask yourself this question:

"Are these children at risk?"

If your answer is ABSOLUTELY 💯 you have a duty to report it.

If (hand on heart!) your answer is NO (it's 'me' being a nosey/jealous cow!) then find yourself new friends, as you clearly don't like these women.

Wow! I can't believe how many people seem to think it is okay to take drugs! I was a teacher and work in education and you are held to a higher level of accountability than your average member of the public. If you believe their behaviour is bringing the profession into disrepute, then you should report this directly to the school. The school will then be able to assess what further steps are appropriate.

If you genuinely believe that there is a safeguarding risk to the children, then you also need to report this.

I hope this isn't malicious gossip - if true, you need to get the ball rolling on any investigations, if malicious, then your reports won't lead to anything. Either way, you should be taking this further.

In terms of safeguarding, it is not your responsibility to prove anything, but merely to report it. I'm with you, I don't think it sounds safe or appropriate - you could report to social services. They may not be able to / decide to do anything, but don't feel like you need to be able to "prove" anything before reporting to them.

As PP's have said if it's a safe guarding issue you're concerned about you should report them all, irrelevant of what job they do and leave those that are in the know to do their job, you don't need hard evidence if there's anything on them so to speak it'll all come out.

If its all hearsay and just someone with a grudge against a certain group of people, who could possibly be suspended/lose their jobs while being investigated, I'd leave well alone and let the grudge holder report.

I worked in a school where drugs were rife among pupils and staff.
The cover supervisor and her husband had a grow.
The PE teacher was a massive weed smoker and there was a TA who stank of weed some mornings.

If we behaved like that especially the drugs in the NHS we'd be fired for bringing the department into ill repute.

In my younger years I shared a house with a group of primary school teachers - male and female. One of them I’d known for years/ still know her. For some strange reason Thursday used to be their big going out on the lash night. They would get up to all sorts and roll in in the small hours. Friday mornings were always a bit odd, the walking wounded would all stagger off to school together and I would wonder what the heck was going on in that school for the day.
You’d like to think they were more responsible whilst being in charge of your kids, not always the way.

If you've SEEN them putting their children at risk of serious harm then obviously you should report it??
You don't worry about gathering evidence - that's not your job, you aren't a social worker or police officer.
If the children are being harmed then there will be evidence.

Of course it might be that the children are absolutely fine, happy and healthy...

I think you are getting a really hard time here OP. I can understand your concerns, both about the teachers lifestyle, and about whether you'd be believed.

We had a similar problem with a scout leader who lived nearby. She was a woman we knew fairly well, she was a functioning alcoholic, who regularly took drugs with her teenage son. The police were called to parties she held on more than one occasion, due to child care concerns and antisocial behaviour. On several occasions she came across to our house when drunk and high because she would be upset about something her husband had done, and we would have to comfort her and help her to sober up. She was reported to social services several times as she had young child. Social services did visit a couple of times.

We had reason to report this to the scouts, as our son was going on a camp where this woman would be responsible for the childrens welfare. Having seen how little she (on occasion) thought about her own child's welfare, this was a concern to us. However, this was before the police and social services got involved. How do you prove to the scouts that this has all happened? It just sounds like hearsay. The scout leaders had never seen her behave this way, as she only attended for 2 hours a week, and would be sober at this time. All the scout leaders would say is that there would be no alcohol on camp. But we knew how hidden she could keep her drinking. In the end, we withdrew our son from the camp, as we had genuine concerns.

I guess the upshot is that if you have concerns about these people have behaved (either as a parent or a teacher), then report to social services anonymously. You may not be able to prove anything, but if social services get enough reports, they may investigate. Even if nothing comes of it, at least you will have done your bit.

I do think it is irresponsible behaviour of a parent. I think what teachers do in their own time is their business, as much as anyone else. I think they could be a bit more discreet though.
I don't think it is worse than overfeeding kids junk food, giving them screens all summer, and not taking them out for exercise. I find that more scandalous.

Yes story sounds familiar to something posted by Merryandbright1170 although that story the person said they attended the party so maybe a friend of the OP.

If you think the children in their care are being genuinely neglected, abused or put at an entirely unacceptable risk then report to social services.

If you simply disapprove of their lifestyle choices then that's your problem.

Lots of people drink alcohol when looking after kids, or smoke weed, or take painkillers or other prescription drugs that can make you a bit spaced/drowsy. Plenty of people will do other drugs the night before and be on a "come down" the next morning and be caring for kids. It doesn't typically make them unable to care for the children and doesn't typically put the children at unacceptable risk (unless the parent is verging towards being paralytic).

Teachers are normal humans and can do normal human things, even if you disapprove.

What does "I'm not keen on teachers" mean?

Is that code for I take no ownership for my childs education, and will blame the teacher they didn't become the next Einstein?

Even if you had a few bad experiences, why tar every member of a profession with the same brush?

YANBU - it is part of the teachers’ standards to uphold personal and professional conduct. They should be more mindful what they share on social media etc.

You don't have to have evidence to report something. That's how safeguarding works. You report what you have seen/heard to the safeguarding lead - you could do it at your school for eg if you suspect a child might be harmed by the alleged drug-taking behaviour (as long as the teacher you suspect is not the lead!)

It's to build up a picture. Even if they find no evidence, there will be a record and this might help to round out a pattern of behaviours which might lead to evidence. I mean, realistically, that is the only pro-active thing you can do. And that is OK. It's a good option.

I imagine it’s very common for professionals to behave like this. I have been to parties with doctors, teachers, social workers all drunk and taking drugs.
I think as long as they’re ok by the time they get to work, then it’s up to them. If they’re still high or on a come down, then no, it’s not ok.
If you have concerns that it’s actually accurate about them not being ok when they’re working, then let the head know.