These teachers and their questionable choices

[Whitesparkled123]

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

Get in the bin OP it's ok to have concerns from a child safety perspective but teacher's are people and have fun. Spoiler alert a lot of your non-teacher friends don't make great choices either.

As Madness sang:
' in the staff-room passing round the ready-rubbed...'

Their jobs are irrelevant
If you have firm evidence of their children being at risk then report it but be VERY sure before you risk someones career because you don't approve of their lifestyle

I'm pretty sure that every single one of the cool mums saying this is fine would absolutely lose their shit if these women were teaching their children!

I know I'm actually quite shocked at the responses telling me to mind my business and I'm a gossip. When I've repeatedly said it's not gossip, I've witnessed it and heard it.
I can't believe so many people think it's ok to take drugs around children or still high whilst looking after kids.

If it was Kelly on the council estate I bet the responses would be different.

Get in the bin? Are you 12?

A rota to mind children when you're in your own garden sounds over the top responsible! I don't know anyone who would do that.

Do you think the children are in actual danger and they're teaching to a low standard? Everything else is irrelevant.

You have options:

if you think their children are at serious risk of harm, call social services. You can also make a safeguarding referral to the school.
if you believe they are driving their cars under the influence of drugs, call the police
if you think they are teaching whilst under the influence of drugs, call the school and ask to speak to the DSL.

If you don’t really think any of these things, you just don’t like it, stay away and get new friends.

You posted about this before, haven't you.
I am afraid the advice hasn't changed since your last post.

I'm a gossip

Well… what are you doing about it other than coming on MN to, you know, gossip ?

Do you have an issue with their teaching or believe their own children to be in danger?

Yes I do feel that perhaps they could be

I seen it myself

You ‘seen’ it, did you? Ok.

Phone Social services and their head teachers then.

I don't think I have

What are the drugs? Class A or other? I think the official guidance for teachers is that even if they are convicted of an actual offence (which takes A LOT) these days, they wouldn’t lose their job unless it is a class A drug. Remember as well that the police are not likely to do anything about it if it’s his personal use only (unless they are drug dealers).

Honestly though I agree that the party-in-garden and child at carnival examples are pretty reasonable decisions- I wouldn’t necessarily do them myself but there’s nothing wrong. The drugs I agree I would raise an eyebrow but the reality is that if it’s relatively small amounts on a recreational basis it probably won’t have any effect on their teaching at all- and someone taking a bit if coke or cannabis on a Saturday night is likely to be fine for school on Monday- well no worse than someone sinking a couple of bottles of wine/ whisky.

There are thousands of other jobs where people regularly use drugs too- like lawyers, doctors, nurses, builders, train drivers and of course politicians- none of it is ideal I agree but if they are performing satisfactorily at school then I think that is the key issue. And I genuinely think it would be impossible to deal with a class of 30 kids and the other parts of a teaching job if you had a serious addiction.

I think I would try to distance myself from the source of all of this information and keep out of it TBH unless there are issues which start affecting my DC’s educational performance. If you notice something in particular you could email the head of the one at your school saying that Miss X seemed a bit unwell today and you’re worried whether she is ok- but not of the ones in the other schools.

Report to the school using their policy. Cite drug misuse.

https://www.gov.uk/report-teacher-misconduct

Teachers have a duty to maintain professional conduct both in and out of school. If you have evidence, take it further.

Edit: grammar!

So report it then. With all your weight of overwhelming evidence that you only mentioned when challenged

I don't believe all these people on this thread are so chilled out and laid back that they'd find it perfectly acceptable & wouldn't bat an eyelid if they found their kids' teachers to be snorting lines of coke & taking pills on a weekend. I call BS.

Yes but how can I then prove that? Without physical evidence?

It’s very relevant in my view. Teachers are supposed to be role models. Taking drugs is bad enough- doing it with DC in the house should get you on social services watch list.

Letting your almost 16 year old travel in Europe when you know they are sensible should not result in a visit from social services. Doing drugs in the house with children present should. As a society our values are seriously badly skewed.

OP you can't reasonably do anything at all, until the actions of a drug-using teacher negatively affect your child. If they're regularly using/smoking and behaving like the kids they're supposed to be setting an example to, then their work performance will be below par (even if they think it isn't), all that partying will catch up with them and they'll trip up sooner or later.

I certainly wouldn't want them, or any other drug users anywhere near my kids, but I am quite sure some of the teachers at my child's school do take them, as drug use is so normalised everywhere now.

The only thing you can do is teach your kids the importance of health and self-respect 🤷

I think you're being given an unreasonably hard time OP. I think it is relevant that they are teachers - they are supposed to demonstrate high ethical standards inside and out of school. So that would include in my mind not being a drug addict. They live in the community and something like that is pretty hard to hide.

To those PPs who said their teaches smoked in the classroom (yes mine did too) and had a pint after school, this is irrelevant because that was donkeys years ago.

Yes class A on a regular basis

Then why are YOU not doing something about it, rather than moaning here?
If things are that bad, you have a moral duty to protect these children
YOU need to report them to social services/the police and the relevant authorities
I do not understand why you can spend time on here arguing with PPS when if this is real, you should be doing something.
If they were ritully sacrificng children on a bank holiday weekend, would you be posting on MN about it?

I can absolutely say I would have no issues with my children’s teachers having a “wild party lifestyle” if they were still teaching and nurturing my children effectively. I don’t see why partying in the garden, taking their kids to NHC and smoking weed would impact their ability to teach.

For what it’s worth, I should point out that OP may have outed herself here and I could easily be one of the teachers she’s talking about. Either that, or there are lots of us with (shock, horror) our own lives outside of work which (shock, horror) sometimes include partying and weed. Either way, deal with it or don’t.

I don’t know the MN rules on “outing” so this post may or may not get deleted, but @Whitesparkled123 if you have outed yourself, please never smile at me or speak to me again. I don’t have time for the bullshit. Report me if you wish, I doubt I’ll lose my career because I admit to smoking weed. Thank you!

You need to get some hard evidence of the drug taking then report them. Maybe attend their next party and film them taking illegal substances and grab one of the pills for evidence?