These teachers and their questionable choices

[Whitesparkled123]

1 of these teachers is a mum at my DC school and she doesn't teach at the school. One of them is a teacher at my DC school and the other is a teacher at another school. They are all friends with each other. I'm trying to be vague as this could be outing.

I'm not really that close to them but know of their partying lifestyle. All 3 have children. They often go to raves, parties and do drugs. I found out last week that 1 of them held a party and couldn't find childcare so left their children in their home whilst partying at the bottom of their garden (which is quite far). They were all there and were all on drugs. The school mum host got people to take it in turns to watch the children. Often after they have been out and are on come downs they have their children.

I've just seen one of them has been to a well known event in London. Her whole family went including the children. She's posted pics and her youngest DC is asleep on the floor (it was held on the streets). I'm shocked. I just think why would you put your own needs above those of your children.
But what can I do? I can't actually prove any of this. Plus I'm not ok with them being teachers and coming into work on the Monday with a potential come down.

Mind your own business. As long as they perform their work duties as required, it’s nothing to do with you what they do in their leisure time. If you honestly think their children are neglected or endangered you could phone Social Services but they will want to know exactly how you know these things.

From what I read, OP may or may not have seen the said tracher taking drugs at some occasion (she has not reported them then- why? which would be an interesting question to ask, would she be implicating herself or at least showing negligence for not reporting)- which she now stretches to every single situation the teachers are in any social situation. Every party they go to or even, she sees as them potentially being covered in drugs.

I can see from the Carnivale comment a tendency to exaggerate and sensationalise. You'd think it was an illegal rave in some dumpster, not a fairly popular and mainstream event judging by OP's post.

If you see someone take drugs once, do you presume they do it every day all day and are under the influence during their job? Those people cant do right, because OP will be hunting them down looking for other occasions they can potentially snort coke. She sees through the walls and peeks into their lingerie drawers.

Locking down or even shutting down social media does sadly not protect anybody against vicious people, because as we see they can 'overhears' or 'find about' things and make her own assumptions. If they live in a smaller town, then the opportunities for OP to spy on them are limitless.

If OP had actual evidence, she should by all means report where necessary, but it does not seem she does.

I am still absolutely shocked at the amount of people on here thinking it is ok to take drugs. Period. Let alone Teachers taking drugs.
Cocaine use should not be accepted at all. Even buying drugs, you are supporting trafficking etc.

Yes, honestly this. But pulling them apart on a public Internet forum known to have the tabloid press all over it is probably more fun. I guess.

If the OP decided to report this to the HT and BoG, she would have to be prepared to give a legal statement to whoever was investigating the complaint.
It is possible that the teachers could lose their jobs if the HT wanted to get rid of them and had the BoG in their pocket and they followed the policies of the school as all the HT would have to say is that they (and the BoG) have lost confidence in the teacher.

Although I suspect that the Union would have agreed a leaving package with the school before that happened.

YANBU. Teachers are role models. Of course teachers have personal lives and can go to parties, just like anyone else. But they should not be taking illegal drugs, particularly if they are responsible for children at the time (including their own children).

Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are so very certain that there’s child neglect going on that you put it on mumsnet, but not called for actual support/safeguarding? Gotcha.

I think you'll find they do. I too was 'high up' in one of those professions.
They may not be taking illicit substances or hitting the wine during work hours, but plenty do outside of work
Don't be so naive!

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this (haven’t RTWT) but look what happened to Madeleine McCann!

Quite

I don't take drugs or lead a party lifestyle but nothing you have said makes me think that these people would meet a threshold for social services intervention - which is very high.

Of course it is not good parenting to be looking after your kid when drunk/ stoned/ high on occasion but social services aren't going to remove kids from one in every (let's guess) 10 families. It's just not feasible or even desirable. If you think the kids are in actual danger e.g. mum drives a vehicle with the kids in it when stoned or mum goes partying in town leaving the kids home alone then ring it though to police/social services at the time but otherwise you are wasting your time.

If you have genuine proof and not just heresay then you need to report it to the schools along with the evidence, which will need to be more than you saying you know it's true.

It will then be independently investigated by the appropriate body.

However, be very careful. You say you have seen with your own eyes, ergo you were at these events and failed to safeguard your child or others there. You could also find yourself under scrutiny and rightly so.

I would hope that there would have to be a teeny little bit of evidence before someone lost their job because of an accusation and the accusations in this case are pretty weak. Telling the headteacher that x attends NHC with the kids where she suspects she takes drugs and telling the headteacher that x has a BBQ in her garden where she suspects she takes drugs. Tittle tattle.

I’d be reporting them all but only if you actually have proof or you’re on a sticky wicket.

I know of a teacher who back in the day went clubbing with us (she was in IT then not a teacher). I also know of a supply now permanent teacher who smokes weed and does the odd line of coke.

I also know other people who are professionals will have a once a year blow out and get the drugs tested.

The thing is when we were all young and into clubbing we swore that after we’d had kids and/or turned 30’we wouldn’t take drugs. As it happened I’ve lost touch with this lot so can’t guarantee what they’d get up to now but one of them was on at me last time to go clubbing.

I won’t lie in my 30s I’ve done the odd line of coke, mdma once in my 40s and also ketamine once. It was fun though.

In your case what do you do? Dob them in and hope they’re disciplined and stop (they’d probably be even more secretive about it now) or say nothing.

I think personally because they seem to be teaching ok now why should you be concerned.

Some MNers are fine with this but some are the “thimbleful of sherry” type who I would expect to be up in arms over this.

When I was at school we had a teacher who did indeed lose his job because he had a coke habit - one which was significant enough to have an impact on his teaching and in-school appearance and behaviour

if that’s the case for these ladies then that’s what will happen there. If, on the other hand, they do stuff in their own time but it hasn’t had a noticeable impact on their ability to do their job then who cares? (Illegal drug use discussion aside) If it does, they’ll be spotted and out.

You’re worried because you know they do these things. You haven’t suggested there’s any evidence the children in their care are at risk in any specific ways though. If you’re genuinely worried about their OWN children then there are plenty of ways to report that

I don’t think it’s speculation when you see it happening firsthand.

And yes I do judge recreational Class A drug use 🤷🏻‍♀️

Raves? are you from the past? 😀

If you’ve seen it and heard what’s going on, then report to the relevant authorities and management.

Teachers are held to certain standards, but I don’t think that exclusive to that profession. I think there are plenty of other professions that I would expect to adhere to standards.

If you saw things, you saw them and that’s what you should be saying to social services, schools etc. it has bothered you sufficiently to post on here, so you must be very concerned. If you are a witness to something and the police interview you, you tell them what you saw. This is the same sort of thing.

The amount of people outing themselves as drug takers on this thread is astonishing. I'm no prude, dabbled a bit with friends when I was younger and a party animal, pre-kids. When kids come along though, it's a whole different ball game. It's disgusting taking drugs in front of your own kids. Shameful.

You think numerous adults who are on drugs should take turns to watch children in the house?

Yeah this is awful op.

It’s complete neglect. Apparently if you have money it’s ok.

How old are the kids OP? If they still primary school age it’s pretty irresponsible for everyone to get shitfaced. I once went to a party like this where young kids and wasted adults were milling around together and it was bloody mayhem

Schools are not courts of law and the "evidence" only needs to be enough to satisfy that the school/Head etc. has done their due diligence with regard to following polices and legal requirements.
It is one of the reasons that so many teachers are being forced out of teaching.