Treating grand children fairly?

[Tryintoparent]

MIL has 5 grandchildren in total. A day out was planned to a funfair for all of them.
Two of the grand kids were unwell on the day so couldn’t go.
MIL gave the 3 ‘well’ children £20 each to spend at the funfair. The question is, should she have given £20 to the other two as well who were unwell?

YABU - she shouldn’t have given the two unwell kids money as it was given to spend at the fair.

YANBU - all of the kids should’ve been treated the same and all given £20 each

Good grief.... you'll defo be back in years to come discussing the inheritance! 😅

It would be nice if they could go another time when the kids are well. Problem solved.

If the grandmother is not prone to showing favorites, then at some point the grandmother will end up doing something with the other set of children. It will all balance out eventually.

If she has to send out money every time she spends something on one grandchild it is going to get ridiculous very quickly.

My mum spends lots more money on my children than my brothers and sil children. Both would say mine are the favourites, but they never bother to the children round there so I’m not sure they have any right to complain. If they took their children round there I’m sure they would get the same.

No, that's mad. Yabu. They weren't there so didn't need spending money. Same as she doesn't need to work out what other expenses she incurred on petrol, admission, snacks etc

Very good of mil to do that.
No, she doesn’t have to give the sick children money either.

What a bizarre way of thinking.

The money facilitated the day out. She’s not a cash machine!

Bonkers!

The grandchildren were treated fairly - they were all invited to go. It's not the grandmother's fault that two of them were sick.

It would be nice if she took the two sick kids on a separate outing but she's not obliged to.

As for the money, it was given as part of the outing. Anyone who is suggesting that she should have also given the sick kids money sounds very grasping. Most kids would be disappointed at missing out on the fun with family, not about the money which would have been spent at the fair.

lol. You cannot be serious.

No the idea is ridiculous

No she shouldn't have. How ridiculous.

I don't know if you're the MIL, mother of the sick kids or the SIL, but regardless I'm cringing myself inside out at the thought of thinking this much about twenty quid from granny.

Going against the grain here, I guarantee that my parents would always give equally to all the grandchildren/great grandchildren even in their absence, though this is never asked for or expected.

Are the 2 sick children from the same family ? How old are they ?
I’m wondering if the kids know that their cousin or sibling got £20 and if they are an age where you’d spend £20 on them- a baby wouldn’t have had £20 spent on them

Lol my mil would require a doctors note before she caved to such an unreasonable demand.

I can't believe that's even a question 😂

OP I think you really need to rethink your priorities 🤣 oh and chill 😊

Jesus wept. Ofcourse she doesn't have to give $20 to the 2 who were unwell. I'm sure, in time, there will be other GC who miss out for various reasons or another, so it will all even out. Let me guess; you are the parent of the 2 who missed out?

One of the most bonkers posts I’ve seen on here.

If I was the mother of the two sick children it wouldn’t even cross my mind that my ch should get money too. It was spending money for a day out. It’s not “treating the kids unfairly” at all, they were all invited and has they gone, I’m sure they would’ve all got the same.

If the sick kids are taken out for a day trip by MiL, to make up for the funfair, I'm sure she'll give them spending money too. Otherwise she is giving money to all 5 each time she treats one. Would you expect her to also pay money to them all each time she spends on one?

Are both sick kids from one family and the only children of that family? I can sort of see my kids getting upset if one sibling was sick and the other came home talking of funfairs and £20. I wouldn’t expect Grandma to do anything differently, but I would probably understand why a kid might be upset and think it unfair (not so much the adults).

Otherwise if the disparity doesn’t involve siblings I don’t understand how this even became a topic - my kids wouldn’t have the first clue what their Grandparents spend on their cousins, and nor do I.

No . The money was part of the fun day out.

Yes she did treat them all fairly as they were all invited