Noises that piss You off.

[itsthewordsmorethenanything]

Help settle a discussion between between me and my husband.
I think scraping your cutlery on your plate is the equivalent of licking your plate.. The foods gone, no need for all of the scraping to get every last morsel of food in your gob!
He thinks my intolerance to food noises is getting out of hand.
I will admit I've always been sensitive to people chewing/slurping but regardless I still believe scraping is bad table manners, anyone else, or am I really being unreasonable?

• For context we have had chicken salad for dinner, he had finished but was scraping mayonnaise left on the plate onto his fork.

I hate hate hate the shooting noises computer games make like Fortnite or call of duty. It's such an irritating noise.

I also dislike the noise of kids tablets playing in restaurants or public transport but I think I have taught myself to hate that after doing months of taking my kids to swimming lessons and this one lady would walk in to the viewing area and plonk her little one on the floor at the front with really annoying games on at full volume every week completely oblivious of the looks everyone was giving her. Once when someone asked her to turn it down she said no as she's not doing any harm. Once it starts to annoy you I think you listen for it more and it gets to me quick. Don't remember being that fussed about the noise before.

I think men like to spread and share their every bodily function as far and wide as possible. Dh’s sneezes drive me mad. An explosion literally from nowhere, with no attempt to contain it. I can see those pictogram droplets settling all over the kitchen every time

Any sort of repeated noise . Vernon Kay does a thing where people have to ring in to see if they're the first caller of the day. There are 5 of them and each time it makes a "Kerching" noise like a cash register. I have to turn it off or I'd end up shouting at the radio.

This made me laugh, I feel the same way about Jamie Oliver..
Every time he eats ANYTHING!!! He does this weird thing where the second it's in his mouth he'll close his eyes and make those mmmmmm sound. I hate it a lot! He also does a lot of double dipping and drops crumbs out of his mouth.
Annoying because I do think he's a very good cook but terrible table manners.
He sometimes has his younger children come in and try the meals, they also eat with their mouth open!

Sniffing and coughing (a bit unreasonable I know), revving engines (especially motorbikes so damn LOUD) and high pitched shrieks (toddlers are good at this)

Some twat across the road from me has a motorbike

Nothing as high falutin as a Harley Davidson, but the noise it makes just drives me mental.
It's high pitched and throaty.
So it goes right through me.

My husband breathes too loudly, too.

But, in his defence, his nose has been broken twice, so he can't help it.
I keep that thought to myself, but it still annoys me.

I spend a lot of time hacking up, sniffing, hawking, blowing, clearing. Usually worse in the morning and certainly on walks (which I am trying to do to get fit but all it results in is a constant stream of snot coming out)

Squealing children, especially in public places like shops and art galleries (both recently).

Boy racers with fat exhausts and bass heavy stereos.

Sainsburys have a tannoy about Argos Big Red Event. It’s BBBBBBBIIIIIIIGGGGG! The staff hate it.

Why do Sainsburys thinks it ok to have this ad? If a team on The Apprentice did this advert as part of their advertising task, Lord Sugar would tell them it’s a big pile of crap

screaming children, babies

Yes the screaming children! Or feral ones too.

Noisy eating, noisy drinking, people tap, tap, tapping things, people scraping chairs along the floor rather than lifting them, kids iPads on full volume in public places, people on speakerphone in public places, kids whining in restaurants apparently at a frequency their parents can’t hear, yappy dogs, people who clear their throat every ten seconds.

Think maybe I’m the problem 🤣

Honestly, I pretty much loathe the noises of all other humans existing 😁

Constant throat clearing. If people do this far too often, it could be something such as throat cancer.

Nah nothing like this, my filters work like they're meant to

The other day there was a bloke wearing over ear headphones with loud music simultaneously shouting a speakerphone conversation, which he obviously couldn't hear very well, because he was wearing headphones.

Was pretty special but more fascinating than annoying

Oh God this. There is one that rocks up at the end of my street and plays Blue Fucking Peter all day.

Friend’s french bulldog snoring - can hear him in the kitchen through all the walls in the house, even in the bedroom!?
Dogs licking themselves
Boy racer cars with loud exhausts

Burping. Disgusting. Makes me want to lash out and CLAW the perpetrator’s face.

Boy racer cars with an exhaust that keeps popping. Why on earth do they want to make their car sound shit?

Throat clearing makes me murderous, but I have misophonia.

I also have developed an intolerance of when people nervously jiggle their legs when sitting - genuinely can't look at it.

Car engines idling

Motorcycles

Men People whistling

Public service announcements on trains ('see it, say it, sorted' enrages me)

Perfomative sneezing

Sniffing

People chewing with their mouths open

Forgot to add:

Car alarms

House alarms

My dog snoring = angel

Human snoring = should be illegal