To hate it when men sit sideways on to you and watch

[amoreoamicizia]

This is happening now: I'm by the seaside, enjoying lunch on a bank holiday in the sun. The seating's a bench set up. I'm away from the the main groups of people, enjoying the view, when a man comes and sits sideways on to me so he's watching me eat! I loathe it when people do this. Just sit facing forward, you weirdos! You're watching me eat at close quarters and ruining my lunch! And since I noticed this behaviour I've also noticed that it's always men that do it. AIBU to say sit facing forwards, strange random men!

Okay then. Men (or in this case boys) don’t ever use their size advantage to gain control or intimidate women and girls. Is that more helpful?

No one framed it as about being right or wrong. Nobody is trying to be "helpful" either - what strange politician-double speak is this? We are giving views as a forum. We are free to disagree with one another.

I do understand what the term, using their height means, l just don’t think it’s very helpful

The use of absurdity does not "help" your case. You are on thin ground and are struggling to defend it.

Apologies, I thought the last post was from @Lucy25

No worries! I was trying to be more helpful to the poster by pretending my real life experience is made up. That is what she wants to hear I think. I feel bad for derailing the OP’s thread now! Hope she gets her lunch in peace tomorrow.

It was actually you, that used the word wrong, l’m not going to quote you on it.Yes l agree, we are free to disagree with one another and that’s what l did, l didn’t agree with a comment.Ironically now, you’re disagreeing with a word l used ‘helpful’.

I definitely not saying your experience is mere hysteria.I just didn’t agree with your comment and that was all.

You will have trouble quoting me because I did not use the word 'wrong'.

My 21 year old daughter looks them in the eye and barks like a dog when dealing with crap like this. They soon move away🤣

I wasn’t aware we were in court and l had to defend myself.I’d rather just draw a line under this and just move on.

Could you have complained about them to the cafe owner?

I posted again up thread and explained I did tell the manager but nothing ever gets done to resolve it.

OK sorry, didn't RTFT. I'd go to a different cafe then, if the owner's like that.

Ooooh yeah, like the 'lass' on White Chicks! 😆

@JohnTheRevelator

Yep, the entitlement of men. I mean NAMALT blah blah blah, but a large percentage of them are! And yeah, isn't it weird how some of them stare at you (sometimes) when you're eating?!

As I said, DH watches me sometimes, not often, but if he does, it will be when it's only me eating and not him. I asked him once 'why are you watching me eating?!!!' He said 'I just think you look so cute!' 🤗

I thought 'Oh FGS, just fuck off will you?!' 'CUTE?!'

I may look a lot of things when I'm eating, but I'm pretty sure CUTE isn't one of them!

🤣🤣🤣

Well it’s a bit late now but next time pick up the phone and loudly exclaim how you are in the midst of recovering from a horrific and incredibly contagious norovirus.

@PussGirl does your ex know he's doing it?

I told him so he must have known even if he hadn’t realised before. He didn’t think there was a problem.

OK but please don't be rude about it. I am very happy to be joined by another woman looking for a chat as if I'm out alone it's a rare treat to have adult conversation as a SAHM.

I dont have a problem with this. Even though Im only 5'5 Ive discovered that Im also abit of a twat and will purposefully ignore personal space if someone 'tries' to loom.
I will happily play a very uncomfortable game of chicken with someone until they move! Alot of the time they dont know they are doing it (esp alpha male types) but I always know what Im doing and thoroughly enjoy their increasing levels of discomfort until they sidle away!LOL

I dont get the bench thing though....Ive never seen anybody twist themselves to sit on a bench sideways unless they were talking to a friend.

I don’t think I’ve experienced this before when I’ve been eating/enjoying a coffee or if I have, I didn’t notice. It would really annoy me if a guy did that though. I think I would just make a point of turning my back to him in an exaggerated manner.

It’s probably ridiculous, but I tend to avoid eye contact with men if I’m on my own, it’s something I got used to doing when I lived in London. I found that if I accidentally locked eyes with a man (a creepy one, not every man obviously) on the tube/overground/any public transport, and I was on my own, he would keep looking my way and stare the whole journey. It’s like me looking at him once became an open invitation.

Weirdly I was trying to explain this exact thing to another male friend , I was away on business and had breakfast a little later than the masses in the restaurant. I was the only one in there and two guys showed up and sat at the closest next table side by side looking right at me! The whole bloody room was empty! I felt so self conscious! And when I explained to my friend how awful I felt he just couldn’t see it!! Said what was my problem and that I should be flattered! FFS !

@Icannotremembermyusername I must admit I was fully expecting a pile-on of YABUs when I posted this. Interesting to hear that at least some women know exactly what I'm talking about. I think to some extent I can understand your friend not getting it; I think it's a phenomenon I wasn't aware of until one day something made me take notice.