To hate it when men sit sideways on to you and watch

[amoreoamicizia]

This is happening now: I'm by the seaside, enjoying lunch on a bank holiday in the sun. The seating's a bench set up. I'm away from the the main groups of people, enjoying the view, when a man comes and sits sideways on to me so he's watching me eat! I loathe it when people do this. Just sit facing forward, you weirdos! You're watching me eat at close quarters and ruining my lunch! And since I noticed this behaviour I've also noticed that it's always men that do it. AIBU to say sit facing forwards, strange random men!

I would sigh, get up and move to another table rather than continuing to eat there.

You shouldn't have had to do that OP! I'm sorry that creep spoiled your lunch! This has really annoyed me on your behalf, and on behalf of all women who are subjected to this sort of harrassment. I experienced in on a train in Italy decades ago and the creep had a group of his pals with him, but thanks be to God I was with my friend. We got up and moved to a more crowded compartment but it really creeped me out and made us both angry! Ugh!

LOL! It'd have to be a really stinky one though ,like rotten flesh 🤑That'd be the right job for 'em 😉

That made me snort laugh 😁

I started going to pubs in the late 70s,with other girls and we were never refused drinks for not being with a male, it must have been really annoying to be refused on those grounds. I was refused in some places for being a punk rocker and that did vex me, lol! Thankfully, I found a pub in the late 70s that I could not only get served in being a punk, but could even go in on my own and feel welcomed and have a laugh, never harrassed by men! It was a great pub and loads of people have happy memories of it and were sad when it changed hands and changed it's vibe!

Nor me.

I'm sorry for women who have been distressed by it.

It’s only when you start sharing experiences with other women that you realise how wide spread misogyny is. I teach in a secondary school. Lots of teenage boys take up unnecessary amounts of space as an attempt to impose control - spreading their legs wide so the girls next to them have no space, draping their coats on desks, standing too close, spreading their belongings across the desk, using their height to hover over girls/female staff. I am not sure when it starts but by 14 this level of deliberate invasion of female space is well rooted. This is not ALL boys may I add.

That's absoloutely awful and unacceptable behaviour. If it happens again it might be worth filming them on your phone/ taking photos and also speaking to the cafe manager to let them know they are harassing customers

Pubs could refuse yes, but I used to holiday in Yorkshire in the early 70's and was never refused. I can remember some pubs being traditionally male environments but certainly not all pubs. Its like the bank account thing. Women could and did independently open bank accounts well before 1975. At this date it became illegal to refuse them on the grounds of their being female....same with pubs and 1982.

It happens with these particular groups of men all over our town. No one in authority will deal with it in case they are accused of racism. I'm Asian, before I get accused of being racist on this thread, and have asylum seekers in my close friendship group.

Some nations/cultures are extremely misogynistic. These particular groups of men have recently moved to the UK and have seemingly taken over every Costa/Nero locally etc expecting they can behave the way they are used to in societies where women are rarely seen in public spaces and those that are seen out and about are viewed as "fair game". I mentioned it to the manager of that Nero, he said he knows it's an issue but there is nothing he can do, his hands are tied. So they carry on, get away with it, and women like me stop going to those coffee shops in town. Unusual to never see mums and babies/toddlers in Costa/Nero? Not in our town centre.

There is a guy at my gym who seems to have latched onto me - l feel sorry for him because his wife has died so l am always polite but he's not good at reading the room when l have had enough of conversation.

Same here so can't say if it would bother me or not

Same. This never happens to me either.

Suddenly I feel lucky to have had anisocoria for as long as I can remember. If I stare at someone in even slightly uneven light then one pupil gets massive and the other goes into a pinprick. Freaks the pervs right out 😁. The only problem is I can't control it, but I can tell when it happens because they can't back off fast enough.

An accidental glass of water over their laps might work. Accidental, sorry and move off.

Was wondering OP if your staring man was straddling the bench or could you explain how he was side on, I'm trying to visualise it. Again, if he got on my nerves I hope I would have the guts to trip with a full glass of water tipping on to his gonads.

When I used to commute from Bromley into central London, many moons ago, I would often get rid of men like this by starting to scratch myself. No speech was needed! They would always clear off 😂

This is just brilliant 😂👍

It's the ones on trains that annoy me. They've mostly stopped trying to talk to m e now but it's usually men who still feel the need to sit next to me when there a millions of empty seats. Why?

I always sit in the aisle seat now after a long journey where a man asked to sit at a 4-seater-table with me in almost empty carriage and proceeded to sit right next to me and coop me up next to the window. He hadn't wanted to sit opposite me because he'd be train sick with his back to the direction of travel- I asked. I completely understood that but he zoomed off in a hurty huff when I asked him to let me out instead then as I didn't want to be squashed in, with 2 opposite empty seats and many other empty 2-seaters. I'm pretty sure there was another empty table so there was simply no need for him to sit there.

I don't mind being sat next to but I mind it when plenty of other space is available.

Goodness, @Iamiams - that sounds medieval*. I probably bought my first drink in a pub in 1980, in my late teens. Probably in London.

*Although, despite one year of undergrad History, I have no idea if, say, The Wife of Bath bought her own drinks.

Many years ago when I was young and beautiful (am a crone now, so can be objective about my long lost looks); I was on the District Line one morning. The part of the carriage I was in was empty. A man in a pinstripe suit came and sat on the seat opposite me. I was reading my book when I became aware of a polite 'ahem', 'ahem', so I looked up.

He had raised his Financial Times just enough for me to see his erect cock sticking out of his opened trousers. I averted my gaze instantly and looked up at his face. He was wearing a really creepy grin. So I got up and stood by the doors to get out at the next station. I was 21. He was around 50.

Another time, on a packed Tube, I could feel someone stroke my arse. It was so crowded I couldn't move or turn round to confront whoever it was. In work that morning I told my colleagues about it and one older lady said 'Whenever that happens, I reach my hand behind, grab their hand and hold it in the air and say 'I just found this hand on my arse, who does it belong to?'"

I had one man insist on sitting next to me in the carriage because it was his reserved seat. There was 1 other person in the whole carriage and we were under 2 mins to departure.

Bloke 1 blocked me into the window and wouldn't hear that i wanted to move to sit alone as there were other unreserved seats and he only reluctantly moved when the only other person/Bloke 2 in the carriage intervened.

When Bloke 1 moved, Bloke 2 couldn't get his head around what had just happened.

Felt like proper allyship.

I get sick of this too. Just lately I've noticed an increase in the number of men who have no regard for the personal space of others. Well I say 'others' but it is practically always women who they are encroaching upon. One example is when I'm waiting for a bus. I sit on the seat under the bus shelter,and so many times,some random guy comes along and sits directly opposite me on the wall by the bus stop. They've got loads of other places they can sit,but no,they choose to sit slap bang opposite me,and keep staring. Or the time I was on a tube train. Train was at the last stop at the end of the line at a pretty quiet station. 8 practically empty carriages, including the carriage I was in. Guy gets on and sits directly opposite me. I thought FFS,really? I got up and moved to another carriage after a couple of minutes of him trying to make eye contact with me. Was half expecting him to follow but thankfully he didn't. Ditto men in queues in shops,standing so close behind me that I can practically feel their breath on the back of my neck. Male over entitlement I call it.

OMG I bloody hate men sometimes. So sorry you experienced this.

I got told on another thread, "It's basic safety in numbers so that both of you aren't alone." when I complained about this happening on public transport (or when parking my car in an empty car park and having a car pull up directly beside me) and saying it was a weird thing to do. A couple of posters were intent on handing my arse to me. "It's completely normal. I always do this."

How chivalrous, eh?