To hate it when men sit sideways on to you and watch

[amoreoamicizia]

This is happening now: I'm by the seaside, enjoying lunch on a bank holiday in the sun. The seating's a bench set up. I'm away from the the main groups of people, enjoying the view, when a man comes and sits sideways on to me so he's watching me eat! I loathe it when people do this. Just sit facing forward, you weirdos! You're watching me eat at close quarters and ruining my lunch! And since I noticed this behaviour I've also noticed that it's always men that do it. AIBU to say sit facing forwards, strange random men!

depends what you say.

100% this. ^ I was also hounded and badgered as a young woman - from around 16 to late 30s. A MAN always had to come and plonk his fat hairy ass right opposite me on the train, and I actually got asked out by one man (about 12-13 years older than me) when I was about 19. I was on the train from London to Birmingham after spending 3-4 days with a friend who lived there.

He sat down RIGHT OPPOSITE ME and said 'I will never forgive myself if I don't do this. You are fucking beautiful. Come and have a drink with me. Where are you getting off?' I said 'no thanks, I'm in a relationship.' (I wasn't I just wanted him to fuck off!) He scowled at me and said 'no you're not you liar!' and was really arsey. I got my bag and suitcase and moved seats. He followed me and scowled at me all the way to my destination. Another HOUR away.

I lived 15-20 minutes walk from the railway station, and was planning on walking home. When I got off and he started to follow me I panicked. I went into a pub on the way home and he followed me in. I told the landlord what was going on and he told him to piss off or he was calling the police. I had to get a taxi home in case he was waiting somewhere to follow me again.

Sadly like most women, this was not an isolated experience.

tr;dr @amoreoamicizia I also hate it when men stare, and I HATE IT when anyone stares at me when I'm eating. I feel very self conscious. I don't even like DH looking at me when I'm eating! I find it weird and intrusive.

And yeah I am glad to be a bit old and a bit fat now. When I was slim and young I was very attractive too, and I got SICK of the male gaze, being objectified, and being hit on and groped. Who'd be a woman eh?!

They’re already openly perving on her just enjoying a coffee, if she were to walk over to them and engage with them they would think Christmas had come early.

Not old and nasty @godmum56 , confident and unwilling to take male bullshit 💪

I'm not young or beautiful 😅

Me neither 🤣

They enjoy making their presence felt. It makes some of them feel like big men to know they've made a woman wary of them. It's pathetic.
Someone wrote on a thread about men ogling young teens that girls should be issued our own taser at about 12. I wish we were. The males would learn manners pretty quickly if we could hurt them like they do us.

He might think this is a come on!

I usually just stare at them till they move

I acquired a fucking stalker from a train journey once. Fucking prick.

Can't you sit sideways facing away from him so all he's looking at is your back.

Otherwise, just move.

On trains/buses, etc., I'll regularly move when someone sits opposite/next to me and there's space elsewhere.

Obvious earpods/headphones, book reading, etc are good ways to be able to avoid other people who may want to "entertain" you with what they think is their sparkling wit! Nothing says "sod off" more than headphones and your head in a book!

You can't change other people, so you have to make changes yourself to make you feel more comfortable. I couldn't give a flying fig what the other person thinks, they didn't give a toss how I feel when they invade my space,

I’d have farted. Loudly. That would get rid of him I reckon! If not, waft it towards him.

I had about 20 years with of it. Now I'm 57 and thank goodness I'm invisible to men now. It's a godsend.

I've had a good decade out of this bullshit with men, and it's utterly bliss.

Not your situation but in the same vein. Me, 21 years old working behind the bar when I see 3 guys in their 40s clearly talking about me. I'm quite bolshy so I walked right up to them, "Can I help you?" The ringleader, grinning, says, "We're discussing how much perkier your breasts are than the other barmaid's". Fate delivered him into my hands as I remembered a caustic line I'd read in an interview with Not the Nine O'clock News comedienne Pamela Stephenson. I yelled out loudly to the other barmaid; "Hey Jez, come over here a moment will you? I want to discuss these guys' penises with you." The looks of outrage and spluttering offence from the "gents" was beautiful to behold. It gave me so much satisfaction that here I am recalling it 30 years later.

I’m so old I remember when women weren’t allowed to buy alcohol in pubs. You had to have a man with you to buy the drinks or ask a male stranger. I think it changed in the early 80s.

are you eating a banana?

Where was this? I used to stand my round in the 70's.

Up North. Ladies weren’t allowed. I remember my nan raising a pint to a court case because the local would never serve her.

just googled:
Up until 1982, it was perfectly legal to refuse to serve women in British pubs, which were traditionally “male environments”. Happily, this all changed in 1982, following the legal case of solicitor Tess Gill and journalist Anna Coote.

No guarantees. Have you read about the stuff that’s popular on Only Fans 😬

That's very intrusive and would make me want to up and move, but why should you?! I was going to advise you to give him a hard stare or tell him to shift OP but he might be a nasty piece of work who could become violent so best not. A man who would so overtly invade anyone else's space like that is not likely to be a nice person! I would be vexed in your position though OP, and find it hard to to let him know it! How dare he!
YANBU!

Same here, haha! None of these experiences sound familiar.

Next time turn and say "They're feeding the penguins in 10 minutes. Better hurry!"

That's disgusting on their part! I really think that sort of behaviour should be prosecutable; in fact, wouldn't it come under sexual harrassment laws? I'm sorry you were put through this by those filthy creeps! Ugh!

Never had this.

Im 60 now. If anyone dared try it I’d fix him with an evil glare or say something.