Do most people have generally bad school memories?

[GRex]

Inspired by a range of commentary from colleagues and peers, it strikes me that a number seem to comment about bad experiences in primary, secondary, or both. Thankfully nothing major, but bad memories nonetheless.

There are not going to be absolutes here, or nobody could be positive, but thinking about school memories on the whole. I remember a mixed bag, but broadly positive especially in secondary school, wondered if that is unusual.

YABU - generally speaking, school was awful for me
YANBU - school was OK, mostly happy memories

I remember loving primary school. Finding years 7-9 quite tough and the. Coming into my own from Year 10 onwards. I loved 6th form. I felt like I'd found my tribe. ❤️

I attended 5 schools; 4 elementary, 1hs. Then college and uni.
zero bad experiences. all my teachers were good, kind and helpful.
mild friendship and teen angst but not in school.

I loved school- hated learning and listening to teachers (didn’t do much of either!) but had such a good laugh with my friends at high school. I have nothing but carefree and happy memories
It was a rough comp with a high level of deprivation

Thanks everyone for sharing stories, it's been a fascinating read to pick up on good memories as well as the less good experiences. Those of you who had difficult times and haven't yet come out the other side, I wish you peace.

Loved secondary school! Went to a state Grammer where I had a close and loyal group fo friends who made me laugh to the point of tears on a daily basis. We weren't at all cool/popular, as we were academic and theatrical and musical. But we weren't bullied. By the 6th form we had somehow become cool, perhaps because we were all going on to do exciting stuff at Uni/art college or perhaps because we genuinely had a good time together and had each other's backs. I had been a very odd bookish child at a rough primary where only 3 of us bothered to even sit the 11+, I didn't fit in although the children were generally kind. So it was nice to find my tribe in secondary. Also I loved the arts on offer, my world was opened to the joys of choirs and theatre which have been a blessing to this day - upsetting that the arts provision in school today is often so poor. Even though I adored secondary school I would never say to my teens that school is 'the best days of your life' - what an awful pressure to put on them.

I remember laughing so hard at a note my friend passed me in history that I choked and had to leave the class. The teacher thought I was having an asthma attack and was quite worried. I miss the days when I laughed like that.

When I got older and chose my GCSEs I was happier and found (most of) the learning interesting so I enjoyed that aspect of it. I lost a lot of weight as well when I hit puberty so from about 14 onwards life was a lot easier and friendships were easier, as bullying eased and my confidence grew.

before then my self confidence was rock bottom and the social side of school was so awful that I don’t have many fond memories of school from about year 7-year 9

sixth form and uni though, fabulous although my few shitty years definitely have made me cautious when it comes to making friends and I’ve still always felt a little more on the outside

Secondary school was absolutely awful and I was so shocked when I heard my brother (who also had a shit time at school) repeatedly telling his daughters that school is “the best time of your life”. 😢

I now live next to a secondary school, which regularly reminds me to feel super grateful for having a better life now.

I loved school. Still do. Have been a teacher for 30 years and I'm still learning every single day.

A mixed bag here. Loved Primary school, hated Grammar school. Bullying was rife from pupils and teachers alike, and I have very few positive memories of the place. Looking at my contemporaries' Facebook posts on the school's page, I honestly wonder if we went to the same place; they obviously had a much better time than I ever did!

Very mixed.

I was privately educated up until I was 16 and I have some really bad memories of my secondary school years. The worst ones are being stalked and being physically assaulted (having a chair thrown at me and having my arm twisted up behind my back). I was bullied by a lot of different people from different friend groups. It was hell. There was very little that was done to help me. I think schools are different now with their non tolerance for bullying. I suffered a lot with my mental health and depression, including self harming, and this was back before people understood mental illness. My dad could also be abusive, so I didn't have any safe space.

I changed to a state 6th form when I was 16 and it was like a breath of fresh air. My mum said it was the first time I'd ever come home from school with a smile on my face.

However, I made lifelong friends at my secondary school, so believe it or not despite all the awful experiences, I do have some very good memories of that time too. The friends I used to stay with for sleepovers, in lovely houses with normal non abusive parents, and I'm beyond grateful that none of them ever questioned why I never reciprocated the invitations.

I stayed in the same city I grew up in. It's been 20 years since I left and earlier this year I took my children to an event nearby and we walked down the road and I showed them where I went to school. It was the first time I remembered it fondly, after spending so long trying to forget it and actively avoiding the area.

I got over it of course, but it took a long time. I became more resilient as I got older, with much less tolerance to bullshit. It definitely wasn't just me who was the problem either. I maintained a close circle of friends from that school and haven't had issues making and keeping friends since. I have marked out a reasonable career for myself and have always been spoken of well at work.

There are a few posts on this thread that minimise bad school experiences, which I've come across a lot of since leaving school. Usually people who shrug and say oh that's not a big deal, etc, tend to have had a much easier ride at school. I think that's a mistake. Bad experiences at school, especially bullying situations, can really affect someone's self esteem, and therefore the choices they make, for some years after. I still think a lot about my time at school, but fortunately I mostly remember the good things about it now. They are formative years, and bad experiences during those years should not be dismissed.

Fucking hated my school. Hated it when I visited to look round, hated the uniform, hated the ugly buildings, hated it on the day I started and hated it every day until I left.

I was on anti depressant within a year of starting. Still on them 30 years later.

Loved primary school, but then ended up being sent to an incredibly rough high school and it honestly ruined my love for education. Worst five years of my life, wouldn't repeat it for all the money in the world.

On the whole, I didn't hate school but quite disliked it. Apart from the crushing boredom, which I experienced as a physical pain much of the time.

I left school early, and found my life immediately transformed for the better. University was fantastic. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. This was what I'd been waiting for.

I've home educated both of my kids.

I've often wondered if bullies feel guilty about their behaviour when they think back to school days.Do they just go on being idiots or, with a bit of maturity and life experience, do they feel a twinge of remorse for ruining someone else's life? There's no denying that bullying affects your self confidence and life choices. So, thanks bullies. Hope you enjoyed school and remember the 'fun' you had!

@OrkneyGirl I really enjoyed pretending to have no recollection who my bully was when she tried engage with me years later in Tesco. It was very satisfying.

I voted yanbu, as primary school was lovely, but secondary school was horrendous at times. Sixth form was fine though. I have lovely memories throughout school, but unfortunately some very bad bullying memories at secondary.

Dreading DD ever having a bully. I'll want to whisk her away from it all.

@BeatsAntique I'd love that opportunity! I think they think everything's just fine. I guess it comes down to emotional intelligence or lack of it. Good on you for enjoying a well deserved moment...and hopefully making them feel awkward! Little wins!

I hated every single thing about school. I did very well academically and even skipped two school years (5 & 10), but i was bullied horrendously by not only other kids but teachers as well. I can't think of a single happy memory from being in school. The breakfast, after-school and holiday clubs i was forced to attend were even worse.

From year 6 onwards i would often have panic attacks from the thought of going to school and i would have them during the school day as well. It didn't help when my parents decided that they wanted to move away from the UK to another country, where we continued to move frequently and i attended five different schools in the space of three years.

I ended up dropping out of school at 13 years old after a suicide attempt. It wasn't intentional and i did try to return to education but i just couldn't face going back after the experiences i had.

I liked school. All but one of my teachers were very good. No bullying issues for me.
I loved the work and I was sporty as well.

School was hell for me after age 10 when family moved area. I'm an introvert, undiagnosed autistic and was withdrawn due to stuff going on at home. I was bullied and had no friends. I was always the one no one wanted to work with. I was so lonely and sad. Things improved at sixth form college but as an adult I sought counselling for my school experiences as well as family issues.