Do most people have generally bad school memories?

[GRex]

Inspired by a range of commentary from colleagues and peers, it strikes me that a number seem to comment about bad experiences in primary, secondary, or both. Thankfully nothing major, but bad memories nonetheless.

There are not going to be absolutes here, or nobody could be positive, but thinking about school memories on the whole. I remember a mixed bag, but broadly positive especially in secondary school, wondered if that is unusual.

YABU - generally speaking, school was awful for me
YANBU - school was OK, mostly happy memories

Were you and your 3 friends the school mean girls?

I loved primary, hated secondary. Bullying was rife, if your face didn’t fit your life was made a misery. I’ve found out in adulthood I am ND which explains a lot. The noises, the thousands of loud, smelly, rude teenagers being crammed into one building and forced to stay there all day long. I spent my teenage years overwhelmed, anxious and unhappy. I think I’d genuinely rather die than experience secondary school over again.

I was classed as thick (the 1970’s &80’s) so at the bottom of the pile.
we were poor so didn’t have nice clothing, was always hungry, no provision whatsoever for those who struggled with academic subjects, parents were incompetent SO it was wall to wall misery.
Kids are indeed cruel and so were teachers.

What absolute garbage 🤣

I hated school. Completely blossomed after I left and have a fab circle of friends now

Aside from a period during standard grades where I was beaten up a few times by bullies, my overall experience was positive. Although my experience at university was far better than at school, my two greatest friendships in life were forged in primary school.

I do wonder how I'd fair at school these days with so many distractions from advancing technology, social media etc. When I was studying for exams tv was limited to 5 channels (we didn't have sky etc), and you couldn't play anyone online either, so knuckling down to study was pretty easy.

Primary has happy memories secondary definitely not. Couldn't wait to leave at 16 and go into the workplace. It's hard if you don't find your tribe although I did have 'friends'

Loathed school in general. I did make a couple of nice friends but generally I found a lot of the other kids and a lot of the teachers awful. Started school refusing by age 12 and barely went after that. This was a long time ago when there weren't the same checks on attendance.

Mixed for me. I liked school in general. I liked most of my teachers, I liked most of the school work, and I liked lots of the ritual and rhythm of school life. I had some friends and I enjoyed hanging out with them every day.

Bad parts were that I was very nerdy and had no idea how to fit in so I got bullied/laughed at. I found some subjects (Geography, RE, English Lit) boring, Eng Lit in particular I feel absolutely sucked any of the fun out of reading, which I otherwise loved. I hated PE, I hated being forced to be outside at breaktime on cold days, school lunches were terrible. I struggled to get up on time in the morning in the later years. Sometimes my friend group was a bit turbulent and I didn't really have any back up options.

No bad memories for me. Of course I couldn't wait to leave, but looking back I wish I had stayed a bit longer. They were good days.

@medik7 it’s very easy to take that view if you are on the inside looking out, rather than one of those on the outside.

I was consistently bullied at school and could never understand why. I was never mean and just got in with my day, but other people objected to me constantly.

Both my kids have neurodivergent diagnoses now, so I guess I was just always different and other people picked up on that and didn’t like me.

As an adult I have a good friendship group and cultivate a low drama life. Sadly you don’t have to do anything more than just be to attract negative attention in school.

I didn’t mind it, found it a bit boring (1960’s), but I left with good exam results which enabled me to get decent jobs through life.🙂

I mostly loved school, and unlike most of my peers now, I remember it very vividly. (At a reunion, I remembered lots of things that nobody else did, and no, I wasn't making them up: I have a very vivid memory of childhood.) I loved primary school especially. But I was a very solitary child, and I didn't get involved in group activities if I could possibly avoid it. Sometimes I feel I missed out because of this.

But I did say a lot at the time "I hate school" if I had had a bad day, from bullying, or the one thing that really made me angry was whole-class punishments, which I think were over-used by my junior school: one of those would make me miserable and unco-operative for days at a time. On one such occasion when we were made to sit quietly instead of playtime, probably for the third time that week, I hyperventilated with anger (I was 10 at the time). There was a stunned silence, and a teacher took me away to calm me down, while I tearfully argued my case about how unfair it all was. She calmly refused to agree with me, but I felt better for having told it to someone who might be able to do something about it.

I did feel by the time I was eighteen that I'd had enough of school, and I couldn't wait to leave. And I did love what followed, even though lots of people warned me that I would wish I was back at school.

I don’t have any particularly fond memories but also no bad ones.

Bad memories from secondary school. The thought of a school reunion fills me with dread. I don't think I've got over it really and still hang on it, mainly shame. I'm in my 40s now too.

I suspect most people have a mixture.

Primary school was very happy until the last year or two - all my close friends were boys and suddenly towards the end of primary it became all 'ooh, you fancy him' and you couldn't be friends with boys anymore.

This issue extended to the first 3 years of secondary school which were miserable and I had difficulty making friends.

But then my GCSE and A-Level years were among the happiest of my life, so it's possible to have both your best and worst memories even at the same school.

Hated it overall and indeed spent my sixth form years in the school and city library reading books on alternative education and can to the conclusion that schools should be abolished.

I don't feel quite the same in my forties as I did at 18, but I didn't send my own children to school and won't unless they want to go. I think the youngest might well at some point. I think what makes school work is it being a choice, optional. The child agrees to the uniform, the rules etc in order to access the benefits and they can leave if they choose to.

I think there is something in the idea that those who are socially successful enjoy school more. I had then undiagnosed ASD and dyspraxia and I think that made school a poor fit for me. However socially post school I am happy and have found my own fit.

I mostly enjoyed school. It wasn’t all roses but nothing really bad stands out.

Primary school was miserable, in a small village school with a plethora of bullies. Secondary school was brilliant. A whole new group of amazing friends from different catchment schools meant I no longer had to even interact with the bitches from home. We shared a bus to school, beyond that they were ignored.
I was bright and loved the structured day at high school. Even pe became fun, as it wasn't just running round a park or playing stupid netball any more. It was hockey, and basketball and badminton and squash, etc.

I hated every second of secondary school. I joined late as we lived abroad and never really fit in anywhere. I got my head down in the most part and just concentrated on my GCSEs and leaving. I have one friend that I still talk to from secondary school. I think my experience is the reason I am dreading DS starting year 7 next year. He’s a sensitive child and I just hope he manages to fit in somewhere.

I went to a different sixth form however and have the best memories there. A fresh start, new friends, subjects that I was actually interested in. Also where I met my now DH.

I loved school and remember it fondly.

Mixed memories of primary school ( rural school, some awful teachers) ;

Loved secondary ( city comp, good catchment, lots of friends) . I didn’t stand out, and while there were undoubtedly bullies, I managed to stay under their radar. Still meet several school friends 40+ years later.

I liked school. So much so that I never really left! I've been a teacher for 30 years now. I've taught at some schools where it was hard to be a student or a teacher. The school where I teach now is lovely and I think the majority of students really like it and will have happy memories of their time there. It's a girls' grammar school (as was the one I went to).

I did have a lot of ups and downs at school but I can't say I have bad memories.

I struggled a lot with the start of primary school. Then I became a bit of a teachers pet and mostly adored primary school. I really struggled at times with secondary but I think that was down to personal reasons rather than the school.

So although secondary school wasn't smooth sailing, I don't have any traumatic memories. School was mostly a very happy , fun, safe place.

I absolutely loved school, I was very academic and loved learning. I also had a great circle of friends. There was the odd negative experience here and there but overwhelmingly, when I look back, they were very happy times.

I hated school, I remember people always telling me that they were the best days of my life and even as a young child I thought that's bullshit 😂 I knew I'd be more suited to work and for years I've been a high earner in a career I love and have since done a Masters in my field. I did pretty well in my GCSEs and A Levels but I'm just not the academic kind whatsoever and I HATED anything to do with studying! I couldn't wait to leave education and get into work and I'm so happy my school days are behind me!