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Original poster

DS 17, who's deluded- me or him??

115 replies

Whosaidthattt · 25/08/2024 23:49

DS, 17, is going to be rich via his Tik Tok posts apparently. 🤔 He hated school, just passed his GCSEs with 4s and 5s. Started college and dropped out after 2 months. We always told him to work hard to give himself choices, which he ignored.
He is now working part time in a supermarket and looks down his nose at his colleagues. He can't believe that this is their life!
He genuinely believes that he is going to earn a living from his Tik Tok posts, and has been posting for 2 years. He has earned approximately £50 per month doing this.
Obviously I am 'old' so don't understand. Is it just me who thinks that at almost 18 he needs a reality check? Or will he really be the next Tik Tok sensation? Anyone else's 'almost adult' this immature?? I have no clue how to direct him. Please don't tell me to kick him out- I wouldn't do that.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 25/08/2024 23:54

I have a slightly older relative on a slightly different platform doing similar. If you can’t experiment at that age, when can you, but it would be good if he could do an apprenticeship along side it.

He is employed which is something so I’d give him a deadline, say New Year or Easter, by which he is either making a living or sorts out of it (unlikely) or gets an apprenticeship and does it alongside that

cupcaske123 · 25/08/2024 23:59

There are loads of Apprenticeships available.

Imtiredthisyear · 26/08/2024 00:14

Give it some time then encourage him to take an apprenticeship in digital marketing. His minimal success thus far on TikTok will give him something to discuss in the interviews.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/08/2024 00:20

He is now working part time in a supermarket and looks down his nose at his colleagues. He can't believe that this is their life!

First of all, I would read him the riot act over this kind of attitude. How dare he look down on anyone making an honest living, and FYI to the little prince, he works there, too, and will for the foreseeable unless he gets his shit together.

Having said that, I would support his TikTok dream IF he is taking it seriously and working his arse off to earn it. It takes a lot of determination to be an "influencer", (hate that word), and it isn't just going to magically happen. Perhaps there are ways you could learn about this together so you can support him. While supporting him, you can also be honest with him about the realities of achieving TikTok stardom.

lolit · 26/08/2024 00:20

No one is deluded here, because some people do make a living from making videos online, but it should not be something he is relying on because if it doesn't end up happening, he might become bitter and regretful of the time he spend trying.

If he doesn't like school that's fine, he can try an apprenticeship or learn a trade. He can still make videos while doing it.

What does he make videos of?

MojoMoon · 26/08/2024 00:21

You don't have to kick him out but you should present him with a choice.
Either he pays xx to you each month to cover food, bills etc starting in two months OR he moves out.
That isn't kicking him out - he has a choice. If he wants to stay, he can do providing he is paying his way.

And he is highly unlikely to make a living on tiktok but he won't listen to you on that so I wouldn't engage much.
Just tell him he has two months to prepare for paying for his food and bills - he can earn that through tiktok or working more hours in retail but it is his choice.

LucasNorth1 · 26/08/2024 01:54

these days with the vast array of people you need a certain personality or a specific area that will get more viewers and it can take many many hours, basically yes worth trying

Edingril · 26/08/2024 02:25

I think it is all tripe in one way but people do make money so I would leave it to them

As long as they manage to study/work and do it as a hobby type thing though

I wouldn't say deluded

PoopedAndScooped · 26/08/2024 02:29

If his been posting on TikTok for 2 years and he is only making £50 a month
Unless something changes he isnt going to become viral

People can make £thousands a week on TikTok but nothing is forever or guaranteed
The highest earner on TT was $23 Million in one year and is on the Forbes list but it is very unlikely your son will become a viral sensation

HoppingPavlova · 26/08/2024 02:31

Of course he needs a reality check. You say he works part-time? Fuck. That. Mine were all told you go to uni, you get an apprenticeship/traineeship, or otherwise you work full-time 40hrs per week (don’t care where). They can then indulge a hobby in spare time outside working hours, and if that were to morph into a full-time job with associated money then all good and well.

JemimaTab · 26/08/2024 02:36

Even if he does end up making a living off TikTok, it's very unlikely to have longevity.

DreamTheMoors · 26/08/2024 02:54

lolit · 26/08/2024 00:20

No one is deluded here, because some people do make a living from making videos online, but it should not be something he is relying on because if it doesn't end up happening, he might become bitter and regretful of the time he spend trying.

If he doesn't like school that's fine, he can try an apprenticeship or learn a trade. He can still make videos while doing it.

What does he make videos of?

”some people” being the operative phrase here.

TerrorAustralis · 26/08/2024 03:03

People who make money off social media work hard at it and for them it’s a full time job. They put a lot of effort into their videos, research what works, analyze their viewing data and post content regularly. Is he doing all that? Or does he expect to be the next big thing in the same way people expect they’re going to win the lottery?

Ponderingwindow · 26/08/2024 03:10

If he is not in education, he needs to find part-time work.

instead of arguing with him about tik tok, tell him his rent is going to be 30% of a full time job at nmw for his age. If he wants to go back to school, you can talk about a different arrangement.

also stop taking care of him at home and give him a light rota of housework. Adults contribute to the home. If he doesn’t meet his obligations, cut off perks like WiFi.

Duckingella · 26/08/2024 03:19

Take him to your local army recruitment office;you can join us to do a trade

Duckingella · 26/08/2024 03:22

That posted too soon

He can join up to do a trade.The army pays for it.

My son has trained as a mechanic with them and he'll also get a HGV license too.This means he has employment prospects when he leaves.

When they say the army turns boys into men they're not joking;my son has grown up so much and it's been the making of him.

SofiaAmes · 26/08/2024 04:12

I know multiple young people who make a living on TikTok and other social media platforms. Every single one of them works way more hours than their peers in traditional jobs to earn a similar wage. The only ones I know making a killing are on Only Fans, and that may not be something you wish for your DS.
As a PP said, it involves an enormous amount of time and energy and focus to develop the engagement and get the followers and then get the brand deals. If your DS has been doing this for 2 years and is only making £50 a month, then he needs to do things drastically differently to make a living at it.

Having said that, he will have to figure this out himself and no matter how wise your advice is...he's not going to listen until he has a frontal lobe.

I know one young (28) man who is a musician and works in the Social Media arena (posting TikToks and Insta Reels) earnestly asks my advice all the time about his career choices and spending priorities and then very diligently does pretty much the opposite of what I advise. He did however get a university degree before embarking on this path. He is finally this year starting to make a living with music/social media that does not need to be supplemented by restaurant work.

You might want to suggest that if he's not a student, he has to earn enough at his "real" job to contribute to rent and food while developing his social media career. As others have suggested, he may want to try for a job/apprenticeship in digital marketing or something similar.

He can always go to college/university as a mature student if he needs/wants a degree later.

MotherofGorgons · 26/08/2024 04:16

He's deluded.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 26/08/2024 04:22

I've had one (a little older now) go through similar. Big dreams, no education, looking to get rich quick.

As you well know, at that age they know everything and you know nothing.

So I played along a bit - agreed with him that he's very creative, he has great entrepreneurial spirit, he is destined for big things. But I kept reminding him that to succeed in business you need capital and an alternative income stream while you establish yourself, and you need a fall back plan.

With that in his mind he has pursued an apprenticeship so he can earn and save lots of money to get started - he still wants to go out and make his fortune but is now thinking about the opportunities his trade will give him.

Octavia64 · 26/08/2024 04:39

He is deluded.

But you're wasting your breath telling him.

Lots of late teens /early twenties think they are going to be the next big thing in acting/TikTok/screenwriting

Give him a couple of years and he'll start to realise he isn't going to get anywhere.

Charge him rent in the meantime (and if you can afford it, save it).

Most of them grow up.

unhappywskid · 26/08/2024 05:44

I agree with the ppl who said he's not deluded, because it is possible to make money off social media. However, if he really wants to pursue that whilst keeping his job, of course, he should work on his skills, digital marketing, etc,so as to be well-prepared for it.

MegsNaiceJam · 26/08/2024 05:46

Get him doing TikTok videos of a pressure washing / rug cleaning job.

He does need to change his attitude looking down on others though. That is unacceptable.

JaneAustensHeroine · 26/08/2024 05:52

Agree with the poster above. I currently work with young people, many of whom aspire to be the next internet sensation. I miss the days when children wanted to be astronauts and ballet dancers (similarly out of reach for many but at least required dedication and commitment).

Where your son is going wrong is that he looks down on his colleagues. Shameful. He’s not going to influence people with an attitude like that. Every time he makes a disparaging comment, address it. It’s unpleasant and it’s worth reminding him that we can all live without Tik Tok influencers but without shop workers we are screwed.

MotherofGorgons · 26/08/2024 06:00

I do know someone whose young DD was obsessed with Tiktok. She accumulated a huge following, but then did a traditional degree in English and then a digital marketing degree, and now works for a marketing agency. So she backed up her obsession.

SaintHonoria · 26/08/2024 06:00

What are his videos?

One of my stepdaughters did extremely well with a makeup/beauty channel on YouTube for a few years as a side line/hobby as well as her being a student.

She no longer does it now that she has a family but at the time it was quite lucrative.

She is exceptionally attractive which may have been the main appeal.

What has your son got that will make his social media presence stand out more than anyone else Malians similar content?