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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS 17, who's deluded- me or him??

115 replies

Whosaidthattt · 25/08/2024 23:49

DS, 17, is going to be rich via his Tik Tok posts apparently. 🤔 He hated school, just passed his GCSEs with 4s and 5s. Started college and dropped out after 2 months. We always told him to work hard to give himself choices, which he ignored.
He is now working part time in a supermarket and looks down his nose at his colleagues. He can't believe that this is their life!
He genuinely believes that he is going to earn a living from his Tik Tok posts, and has been posting for 2 years. He has earned approximately £50 per month doing this.
Obviously I am 'old' so don't understand. Is it just me who thinks that at almost 18 he needs a reality check? Or will he really be the next Tik Tok sensation? Anyone else's 'almost adult' this immature?? I have no clue how to direct him. Please don't tell me to kick him out- I wouldn't do that.

OP posts:
ThisFunHedgehog · 26/08/2024 09:52

YANBU.

Social media as work is super volatile, trend dependent and susceptible to scandal and cancel culture. Although people can and do make a living from it, I don’t think it’s a sustainable income path for your teen and he ought to seek an apprenticeship or enrol in college again. Of course that’s no to say he can’t use it as a creative outlet, it should be a hobby more than a career path.

CatatonicLadybug · 26/08/2024 10:09

I’ve made my living on YouTube for about 15 years now, so I know it is possible to make the internet pay your actual bills, but a bit like kids who assume they can play in the premiership because they are okay on their school side, there is a lot more to it than meets the eye really.

In order to have longevity in video format, you need a balance of being a strong communicator with plenty to tell. You need a wealth of life experience, essentially! Otherwise you have the same few stories to tell over and over and they aren’t very interesting the first time. The people who are worth continuing to follow are the ones who have kept raising their hands in life to keep having stories to tell. They need to try things or go through things that are interesting enough for others to want to listen.

There is a need for multiple streams of income and almost everyone you see making a living is making more than the videos you see on their main channel. Somewhere there will be long format videos in addition to short format videos, somewhere there will be ‘premium’ content people are willing to straight up pay you to watch rather than earning a penny per view on TT or YT.

There is a heap of marketing. Almost no creators exist on one platform alone, so you have to keep an eye on what’s working on three or four different networks and that part can be less fun than your original passion.

There’s a decision to be made as to whether the topic(s) you cover are more universal or niche. Lots of people watch the more popular topics - like how millions of people will watch the same make up tutorial. But also those topics are crammed full of influencers already and it’s really hard to break through and get any views at all. If your topic is less universal, it’s easier to break through but you can be absolutely at the top of the game and be in the five figures of subscribers, not millions and millions. And if you decide not to have any sort of topic then… well… good luck. It will be really hard for anyone to find you without some sort of easy way to describe you.

You're self employed so you will need to do your taxes, work out how to balance uneven income from month to month and all that boring stuff that is so far removed from making the actual videos.

I’m old so never was a teenager thinking I would do this. I studied other things and started in a more traditional career. I didn’t give up the traditional job until the side thing had overtaken my earnings and I’d given it enough time to make sure people actually liked my videos enough to keep coming back. I hope he doesn’t look down on his followers like he does people at work, because I just can’t see that working.

Anyway, sorry I’ve written you some sort of essay in working on the internet and a lot of it might be obvious to you but I feel like it’s often not at all obvious to teens who think this will work. Absolutely no problem with dreaming about it! But a bit like when you find out a singer you love actually went to the Brit School or the footballer never went on holiday as a kid because the family put all time and money into their sport training, it often turns out that there is a ton of work behind the scenes before the big success.

Turefu · 26/08/2024 10:40

suki1964 · 26/08/2024 08:03

This was DSS 13 years ago.

Left school with no qualifications, got an apprenticeship on the trowel , hated it. I convinced him to go to college get his exams - all good - done well - but couldn't cope with university and dropped out. Then lay around the house working up get rich quick online schemes and online gambling. Robbing peter to pay paul.

Then one day out of the blue he says hes off to Oz back packing. We gave him a few bob and expected to see him home within the month. Sure enough we got a phone call within 72hrs saying he had been robbed and could we wire him some money.............

Nowadays he spends his life flying around the world BC, working with coffee growers in Colombia, Brazil, Cuba etc . Has a riverside penthouse in Sydney another house in Melbourne. He became a citizen about 4 years ago. He married last year in Italy to a lovely young lady who is a very prominent barrister out there

He always had big dreams of attaining the good life and he got there

Some kids do make it. Caused us a lot of strife over the years but he got there

That's interesting! How did he make it? What exactly he has done to buy his penthouse?

Tagyoureit · 26/08/2024 10:44

£50 a month? Practically a millionaire! 🤣

Maybe give him a list of your monthly outgoings so he can see what it actually takes to live in the real world!

lolit · 26/08/2024 13:15

Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk · 26/08/2024 06:29

Yes, there is good money to be made. It's madness. (I'm 50!) I have a channel that I make videos for (not too too but it all the same) and i can't believe I'm potentially going to be earning more than my real job if it continues to grow. The world has gone mad. If he's any good, feel free to DM me and I can give you a top tip.

Forget about op's son, give me this top tip!😂

suki1964 · 27/08/2024 00:49

Turefu · 26/08/2024 10:40

That's interesting! How did he make it? What exactly he has done to buy his penthouse?

He blends coffee.

Hes out there developing coffee blends. Believe me we dont understand it, but if I could post footage of him at world coffee shows without it being outing I would

Apparently coffee is HUGE business in Australia and extremely lucrative . So the Barista and the Barrister have done well

Anything else I can help you with?

Turefu · 27/08/2024 06:01

suki1964 · 27/08/2024 00:49

He blends coffee.

Hes out there developing coffee blends. Believe me we dont understand it, but if I could post footage of him at world coffee shows without it being outing I would

Apparently coffee is HUGE business in Australia and extremely lucrative . So the Barista and the Barrister have done well

Anything else I can help you with?

No, that’s all, thank you.
To OP. As pp said, £50 is not bad start, he’s already got large audience. Another vote for suggesting him a digital marketing course, more advanced one and finding a job in this area.

ConsuelaHammock · 27/08/2024 11:47

He needs to up his hours at the supermarket to full time and start paying his way. You can let him get on with the TikTok thing but expect him to be earning a full time wage .

Ukrainebaby23 · 28/08/2024 08:29

Fine to do this, or any other aspirations, alongside a job as long as he's paying you rent. Doesn't have to be alot but he does have to understand the true cost of living, so be clear with him about splitting your costs per person in the house includes food, utilities, transport costs etc.

You can support him if you wish by not charging full share of costs, but make sure he realises this. You can also encourage him to try other jobs or careers that may not be academic, apprenticeships etc. He sounds like he has drive and ambition, don't kill it, but try to help him direct that drive.

It's unlikely he'll make his money on Tiktok but he might be able to use that experience and drive elsewhere.

Balance supportive with sensible won't be easy, good luck.

Gambit1977 · 27/03/2025 00:03

He’s deluded you can’t make money on tik tok posting stuff i didn’t make money posting videos on there not one penny I got rid of tik tok as its a waste of time and too many scammers so i deleted the app and accounts and im a lot happier i make money by working. So tell you’re son to get a job cos he can earn loads more from working

Pastelhp · 27/03/2025 10:34

Gambit1977 · 27/03/2025 00:03

He’s deluded you can’t make money on tik tok posting stuff i didn’t make money posting videos on there not one penny I got rid of tik tok as its a waste of time and too many scammers so i deleted the app and accounts and im a lot happier i make money by working. So tell you’re son to get a job cos he can earn loads more from working

Incorrect. I’ve made over £800 per month on TikTok from the creator fund before and I don’t even have a “big” account - it depends on your RPM and how many people watch your videos on the FYP. I wouldn’t quit my full time job for this personally, but you can see for yourself big creators on TikTok have successfully done this, and are now mortgage free as a result!

DeepOchreBear · 27/03/2025 10:36

Either do some real talk with him right now, or wait until he reaches his thirties and is still working a till in a supermarket. There’s also nothing wrong with minimum wage work it’s just our system that makes those working min wage jobs unable to actually live and afford things.

Gambit1977 · 27/03/2025 10:49

Oh is that true then why people on that app scamming people out of money if ya getting £800 a month for sad photos of you in the gym because people are scamming people out of money So if you earn that why people getting scammed

Pastelhp · 27/03/2025 10:57

Gambit1977 · 27/03/2025 10:49

Oh is that true then why people on that app scamming people out of money if ya getting £800 a month for sad photos of you in the gym because people are scamming people out of money So if you earn that why people getting scammed

Because there are scammers on every app/corner of the internet?
Also, photos of people at the gym? 😅 neither myself or any of the content creators making money via TikTok are posting “sad photos at the gym” I assure you.

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