Page 25 | Aibu to not want to move up north

time2changeCharlieBrown · 2024-08-25T20:02:04+00:00

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds so my main concerns is the weather I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more? also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off! we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools. my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

Original poster

time2changeCharlieBrown · 28/08/2024 15:26

Neonmoonkitty · 28/08/2024 14:27

I'm not sure how much to believe people who are saying how wonderfully inclusive and friendly the people in the North are, when it's said in the same breath as being spectacularly nasty and unwelcoming. This thread got nasty very quickly. Just because OP has no experience of an area, and only had negative things told to her by the locals of that area to go on, doesn't mean she is snooty nor has her nose in the air. I'm not sure her lack of knowledge or familiarity called for the unpleasantly tinged shit about whippets and cloth caps. She did none of that stereotyping but got accused of it anyway.

All I can say is, thankfully, there were a lot of truly friendly posters to provide balance.

I am from a culturally diverse former industrial area and not southern, before anybody leaps to that assumption and accusing me of being a southern whatever.

The reason most people have a negative view of parts of "The North", or anywhere else for that matter, is mostly down to negative press. They don't tend to give you a tour of the local museum, fine dining, excellent universities, nice shops and cultural heritage gems in a news report about rioting, stabbings, flooding, cultural disharmony, snow and pockets of deprivation. You don’t see the good bits, well not unless somebody is trying to light it on fire at that moment. Who can truthfully say they always Google every place for background when reading the news. I sometimes do but not often. Positive things about any area rarely make the national news.

well said!! This totally sums it up imo
the negative press is exactly part of the reason I was so worried I think I was following the Yorkshire evening post and every day was so full of gloom! Some of the posters were quick to judge and try stick the boot in however not realising they were also being very judgemental also.
“The pot calling the kettle black comes to mind (I think that’s it, and possibly a northern Manchester? saying? )
your right the positive and nice things offen go unnoticed and unreported
however despite the nastiness of some posters , I am glad I did post, because I am now very much looking forward to seeing the areas
thanks to the helpful kind posters
they made me realise I was being stupid and small minded and that my worries were unfounded

OP posts:

kierenthecommunity · 28/08/2024 15:26

SallyWD · 28/08/2024 14:56

I live near Meanwood and find it quite rundown compared to Far Headingley/Weetwood/Adel. It does have nice cafes and restaurants and the park is great!

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We used to live on the Woodside estate (pre Waitrose) and I always reckoned it was the next up and coming place. I don’t think it upped and came quite as much as I anticipated but I’d still live in most of it

Bjorkdidit · 28/08/2024 15:36

Meanwood is incredibly middle class in a slightly lentil weavery sort of way. It's probably full of people who would like to live in Chapel Allerton but can't afford it.

A trip round Waitrose is ripe for observing classic performance parenting of the 'we buy this naice organic chicken and asparagus because we're good people aren't we' variety to 4 YO Stanleys and Mabels.

But as for 'the pot calling the kettle black' it always amuses me when you get questions mostly from Londoners thinking of moving to 'the north' apparently concerned about having to mix with ill educated and uncultured racist northerners because if they were as open minded and tolerant as they think, they wouldn't have such perceptions in the first place.

SallyWD · 28/08/2024 15:53

Bjorkdidit · 28/08/2024 15:36

Meanwood is incredibly middle class in a slightly lentil weavery sort of way. It's probably full of people who would like to live in Chapel Allerton but can't afford it.

A trip round Waitrose is ripe for observing classic performance parenting of the 'we buy this naice organic chicken and asparagus because we're good people aren't we' variety to 4 YO Stanleys and Mabels.

But as for 'the pot calling the kettle black' it always amuses me when you get questions mostly from Londoners thinking of moving to 'the north' apparently concerned about having to mix with ill educated and uncultured racist northerners because if they were as open minded and tolerant as they think, they wouldn't have such perceptions in the first place.

I know lots of people who go to that Waitrose who travel from Chapel Allerton, Horsforth, Roundhay, Weetwood etc. They're not all Meanswood people.
Yes, Meanwood is becoming increasingly middle class and trendy but still a lot of deprivation in places.
I personally like Meanwood and would live there but it's not as attractive as its surrounding neighbourhoods.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 15:56

RampantIvy · 28/08/2024 12:44

currently only two trains an hour to Leeds

It was only one train an hour when I lived in Guiseley @MereDintofPandiculation

That must have been a very long time ago! Or late on a Sunday evening. It’s been at least two trains an hour for the last 30 years.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 16:00

Goldenbear · 28/08/2024 13:32

I don’t get the Booths hype, on the basis of MN references I visited one on holiday and our Waitrose where we live in the SE is miles better! Maybe it is down to individual stores as the Waitrose near my Mum in the Midlands is small and doesn’t have as much choice. The Booths we visited had rock hard pastry Pies and lots of sweet stuff but not the choice in savoury stuff we would normally choose over sweet stuff.

Supermarkets vary according to area. The Morrisons in the more working class town near me is a different beast from the one in the more MC town.

justasking111 · 28/08/2024 16:08

I'll tell you a story. Son and girlfriend finished university in Leeds. Son got a job in a small town/village outside Leeds. Well they couldn't find accommodation/flat and were getting desperate. So I put up a plea on their local community FB page asking for advice. Lots of lovely people replied including an estate agent who said that an apartment was coming on the market, would they like to see it before she advertised. They did and got it. My thanks to the community there were profuse.

I've never forgotten their kindness.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 16:11

Leeds centre benefits from the student population - it’s always busy during the evening. I’d be a bit worried on my own in some of the darker narrower streets down near the bus station, but the area between Briggate, Headrow, station seems quite safe at night, because there are so many groups of students around.

I feel safe after dark in the suburbs, with the usual caveats if avoiding ginnels and short cuts across parks.

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 16:32

Goldenbear · 28/08/2024 14:33

Honestly, I think people just think of the ‘industrial North’ and have lots of preconceived ideas about it. I think many people from the south would be worried about standing out with a southern accent.

We all know that it’s no longer ‘industrial’, that disappeared years ago.
I think most southerners are aware of places like Harrogate of Ilkley or York as they are firmly on the tourist trail. They visit those areas on holiday and enthuse about them, especially on MN and frequently re locate there, often they are amongst the few that can afford the prices. Look at York. Many of the workers on NMW employed in the retail shops in the centre have to move out to Pock because of the influx of people from else where.

Stringagal · 28/08/2024 16:37

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 16:11

Leeds centre benefits from the student population - it’s always busy during the evening. I’d be a bit worried on my own in some of the darker narrower streets down near the bus station, but the area between Briggate, Headrow, station seems quite safe at night, because there are so many groups of students around.

I feel safe after dark in the suburbs, with the usual caveats if avoiding ginnels and short cuts across parks.

I’d agree with this. The city centre is always nicely busy on an evening. Personally, in the years I’ve been here since uni I’ve never seen anything horrible happen (except that one time I got flashed at in the Merrion centre on the way to Ritzy with my mates, circa 1993) but maybe I’ve been lucky.

Park and alleyway advice is universal. Common sense prevails!!

I have teenagers now and when their time comes for big nights out I’ll have no qualms letting them go into town. It’s so much better now it’s pedestrianised too, really nice buzz to it with lots of outdoor seating and lighting.

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 16:38

Bjorkdidit · 28/08/2024 15:36

Meanwood is incredibly middle class in a slightly lentil weavery sort of way. It's probably full of people who would like to live in Chapel Allerton but can't afford it.

A trip round Waitrose is ripe for observing classic performance parenting of the 'we buy this naice organic chicken and asparagus because we're good people aren't we' variety to 4 YO Stanleys and Mabels.

But as for 'the pot calling the kettle black' it always amuses me when you get questions mostly from Londoners thinking of moving to 'the north' apparently concerned about having to mix with ill educated and uncultured racist northerners because if they were as open minded and tolerant as they think, they wouldn't have such perceptions in the first place.

Meanwood back in the day wasn’t especially desirable. I grew up in Horsforth and it was pretty non descript and ordinary. Prices there now are out of my league. I want to move back there from over the Pennines as I’ve loads of family but I just don’t have the collateral in my property to afford it. I’m on the local Facebook group and so many long standing inhabitants hate the way it’s mushroomed and demographics have changed.

User7171 · 28/08/2024 16:42

@Lelliekellie

...after living further south I would not move back there nor would I want my children too.

After living in the south you no longer want your children?! Bizarre.

Goldenbear · 28/08/2024 16:54

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 16:32

We all know that it’s no longer ‘industrial’, that disappeared years ago.
I think most southerners are aware of places like Harrogate of Ilkley or York as they are firmly on the tourist trail. They visit those areas on holiday and enthuse about them, especially on MN and frequently re locate there, often they are amongst the few that can afford the prices. Look at York. Many of the workers on NMW employed in the retail shops in the centre have to move out to Pock because of the influx of people from else where.

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It is not that it is ‘active’ but ultimately that is what the North is very well known for and it wasn’t that long ago! It is shaking off stereotypes I suppose. People also may visit the North for work but live in the south it isn’t just tourism.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 16:57

Stringagal · 28/08/2024 16:37

I’d agree with this. The city centre is always nicely busy on an evening. Personally, in the years I’ve been here since uni I’ve never seen anything horrible happen (except that one time I got flashed at in the Merrion centre on the way to Ritzy with my mates, circa 1993) but maybe I’ve been lucky.

Park and alleyway advice is universal. Common sense prevails!!

I have teenagers now and when their time comes for big nights out I’ll have no qualms letting them go into town. It’s so much better now it’s pedestrianised too, really nice buzz to it with lots of outdoor seating and lighting.

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I got flashed at in Lewes. Don't get much more nicely MC than that

LunaNorth · 28/08/2024 16:59

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 16:32

We all know that it’s no longer ‘industrial’, that disappeared years ago.
I think most southerners are aware of places like Harrogate of Ilkley or York as they are firmly on the tourist trail. They visit those areas on holiday and enthuse about them, especially on MN and frequently re locate there, often they are amongst the few that can afford the prices. Look at York. Many of the workers on NMW employed in the retail shops in the centre have to move out to Pock because of the influx of people from else where.

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Pock’s ace, though, to be fair.

Goldenbear · 28/08/2024 16:59

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 16:32

We all know that it’s no longer ‘industrial’, that disappeared years ago.
I think most southerners are aware of places like Harrogate of Ilkley or York as they are firmly on the tourist trail. They visit those areas on holiday and enthuse about them, especially on MN and frequently re locate there, often they are amongst the few that can afford the prices. Look at York. Many of the workers on NMW employed in the retail shops in the centre have to move out to Pock because of the influx of people from else where.

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Also, visually the industrial landscape is still prevalent and that is also the case in some parts of the midlands, in the southwest and the south east you don’t have a prevalence of that accept maybe areas like the Docklands and ok the south coast industrial shipping areas. I think there is a beauty in that but it is a real contrast and noticeable on the M6 when you drive through Birmingham.

Stringagal · 28/08/2024 17:07

At lot of the old Yorkshire mills have been restored and converted into apartments, offices, and entertainment venues. Ooh add Salts Mill to your to do list, OP. Maybe not this trip but another time, it is glorious. Love an old mill, me.

The upside to our industrial past is lots of old stone houses in certain areas.

RampantIvy · 28/08/2024 17:43

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/08/2024 15:56

That must have been a very long time ago! Or late on a Sunday evening. It’s been at least two trains an hour for the last 30 years.

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It was!

We moved from Guiseley in 1989.

Poisoningpigeons · 28/08/2024 17:45

@SallyWD In the interests of keeping things vague, I’ll just say that I live within hearing of the St C bells 😎

RampantIvy · 28/08/2024 17:46

Leeds is a lot safer now than when I was a student there in 1980.

Hollietree · 28/08/2024 17:52

Leeds (or a nice village nearby) is a great place for teens and young adults to live in. I went to uni in Leeds and ended up living there for 7 years after uni, absolutely loved the city and the people in it.

However there is a big difference in the weather! I can’t believe people are saying that there isn’t much difference. I grew up in the South-east and it rains a lot in Leeds compared to where I grew up. It’s generally 5 degrees cooler than where I live in the SE and it rains a lot more.

My first year in Leeds I was there in the summer…. and it was all over the news that it was going to hit 100 degrees down south. It rained in Leeds all day and was cold and cloudy. I felt so hard done by!

Enigma52 · 28/08/2024 17:56

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 25/08/2024 21:26

YABVU. Why do people assume 'it's grim oop North?!' The weather is often no worse than 'dahn south!' Only difference is that the South will often be 3-5 degrees C warmer. But it will still be decent in the north of England!

Well said! ( from a southerner living in the north!)

Enigma52 · 28/08/2024 18:02

OP, if you move to Leeds, you are guaranteed a cracking salt fish patty at the Kirkgate market ( when the food festival is on!) 😀

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 18:13

Hate that expression ‘oop north’. We don’t even say it like that 🙄

Stringagal · 28/08/2024 18:23

Simonsignoret · 28/08/2024 18:13

Hate that expression ‘oop north’. We don’t even say it like that 🙄

It’s the only way they can do northern - using the oo sound in book or cook

(north easterners - don’t start 😂)