Aibu to not want to move up north

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

There's a Booths in Ilkley. And a dairy in Eldwick on the fringe of Ilkley Moor which makes award winning cheeses. Google Brie by Gum.

Brie by gum 😂

Funny really, if somebody had said they were down on their luck and needed a cheapish terrace or something, might have sparked an interesting. discussion

Leeds is a great city - it's cosmopolitan, there's lots going on, lots of opportunities, great shopping, great theatre, great concerts. There is beautiful countryside on the doorstep, very attractive small towns and villages within easy commuting distance, and if you're selling in the South East and buying on the north, you should be able to afford a beautiful house.

Any city will have its bad areas and its areas with high levels of crime. Your DC will need to gain some street smarts or they will struggle when they leave home wherever you are, but Leeds is not a dangerous city, and young people finding their feet carries a small amount of risk wherever they do it - you can minimise this by widening their experience as they grow up.

currently only two trains an hour to Leeds

It was only one train an hour when I lived in Guiseley @MereDintofPandiculation

It might have improved, thanks to Tracy Babin's influence.

It used to be that the bus service from my village to Leeds was half hourly at best, but in the last couple of years it's been increased to 15 minutes in the day time. They don't all run, but they're trying to make public transport more workable and affordable.

Whether you can actually get on the train, especially the closer to Leeds you get, is another matter.

Weather would be a deal-breaker for me.

I don't get this obsesion with weather. Sadly it seems to be pretty much a homogenous blob of grey most of the time in most places. Although I found the map showing rain interesting.

Anyhow, many many people don't have these kind of choices and just have to buckle up and get on wi'stuff.

I know people bang on about the weather but when whenever I check it it seems to be around the same temperature or only slightly higher in the south.
The south is hardly Mediterranean territory

I know. It's a degree or so difference at most on average. Sometimes the weather in the north is warmer/drier than the south.

I think Leeds is drier on average than the south west anyway. Plus there's less extreme heat in the summer, which many will appreciate.

Overall, you'd probably barely notice the difference after a few years, it's hardly Siberia up here.

Hi. Don't worry about the weather all the rain gets stuck on t'other side of Pennines. Some of it is very posh some rough.
Don't know if anyone has mentioned Methley lots of open spaces or Rothwell both good and not too expensive.

I don’t get the Booths hype, on the basis of MN references I visited one on holiday and our Waitrose where we live in the SE is miles better! Maybe it is down to individual stores as the Waitrose near my Mum in the Midlands is small and doesn’t have as much choice. The Booths we visited had rock hard pastry Pies and lots of sweet stuff but not the choice in savoury stuff we would normally choose over sweet stuff.

Agree. MN is largely a site for middle class parents with healthy budgets. Very rarely is there a thread about looking for a property that the ‘average’ earner can afford, so around £200-250k. Same desirable places trotted out, whole areas of northern cities dismissed because they’re ‘rough’.

We will be as staying near Headingley so I think it’s v close by looking at the map

I have never been to either a Booths or a,waitrose there are non in my part of the Northwest 😪

near Headingley

Sad really that the site isn't welcoming for people on normal money. Or even for those struggling.

Booths and private schools are beyond the reach of many ( through no fault of their own)

If you can cook you aren’t missing out!

I'm not sure how much to believe people who are saying how wonderfully inclusive and friendly the people in the North are, when it's said in the same breath as being spectacularly nasty and unwelcoming. This thread got nasty very quickly. Just because OP has no experience of an area, and only had negative things told to her by the locals of that area to go on, doesn't mean she is snooty nor has her nose in the air. I'm not sure her lack of knowledge or familiarity called for the unpleasantly tinged shit about whippets and cloth caps. She did none of that stereotyping but got accused of it anyway.

All I can say is, thankfully, there were a lot of truly friendly posters to provide balance.

I am from a culturally diverse former industrial area and not southern, before anybody leaps to that assumption and accusing me of being a southern whatever.

The reason most people have a negative view of parts of "The North", or anywhere else for that matter, is mostly down to negative press. They don't tend to give you a tour of the local museum, fine dining, excellent universities, nice shops and cultural heritage gems in a news report about rioting, stabbings, flooding, cultural disharmony, snow and pockets of deprivation. You don’t see the good bits, well not unless somebody is trying to light it on fire at that moment. Who can truthfully say they always Google every place for background when reading the news. I sometimes do but not often. Positive things about any area rarely make the national news.

Honestly, I think people just think of the ‘industrial North’ and have lots of preconceived ideas about it. I think many people from the south would be worried about standing out with a southern accent.

It is - are you bringing a vehicle?

if you’re in Headingley, Meanwood may be worth a look. Some nice bars/restaurants, small park and Waitrose 😃

not at all helpful but you did make me chuckle!!! 😂😂😂

I live near Meanwood and find it quite rundown compared to Far Headingley/Weetwood/Adel. It does have nice cafes and restaurants and the park is great!

So it may be the unpopular opinion but my person standing -

As a child and teenager I grew up “up north” and even though all of my family still live in the area I can honestly say after living further south I would not move back there nor would I want my children too.

From my personal experience - I have found a more “rough” attitude and lack of motivation to work amongst people I have been around. Bullying in my teens was a problem (racism despite the fact I am white just born in South Africa and came to UK at 5 with an English Mum). The school system completely lacking and completely disregarded “asbo” youth.

FYI - North East (Whitby, Middlesborough, North Yorkshire)

Glad you’ve had a bit of a re-think. ‘Dreading’ visiting did rather suggest prejudice, and as for worrying that your mixed race children might be a target, well people don’t like to be called racist especially when it seems to be based on assumptions. Your earlier posts really did set a terrible tone.

But as I say you seem to be rethinking so that’s good.