Aibu to not want to move up north

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

I agree with you apart from the house price thing, comparing like for like they are significantly more expensive in the SW. Have lived in both areas.

Harrogate and York / villages around are great! Really really lovely. ,

all commutable to Leeds especially if it’s a couple of times a week.

I’d do a trip up and have a scout around at different places.

the weather is worse but c’est la vie…

Depends entirely where you live, Oakhampton vs Alwoodley? You'd get much less for your money in the latter.

This might come as a shock, but in the North, we also have a coast, in fact some of us live on the seaside!

Did I read that Leeds is building a reputation for high ranking Law firms and rebuilding the Finance/Investment reputation. Some good careers available and a good Uni.
On a practical note try out the commuter rail/metro whatever they have. Have a go.

Dreading it? You need to get out more.

Yes, that's right @Modestee . Bank of England are opening a 500 head office in Leeds too.

OP you don't mention where exactly you live in the SW, but violent crime also happens in Bristol, Exeter, St Austell etc. Also Redruth many places in the SW have growing social problems with drugs, crime, poverty, etc.

Leeds is a great city. If you don't want the city life, there are plenty of smaller commutable satellite towns that other posters have mentioned. I would however, avoid the student areas if you can, but I'd say this for most cities.

You may find you have a much better standard of living in 'the north'. Folks are friendlier, generally, and you don't have the arrogant/spoiled attitudes that often come along with the South or those wearing 'London' blinkers.

Just ignore the ignorant sterotypes. The 'north' is a very diverse place in terms of population, geography and weather. We are ignored and often feel neglected by London/the South, but there's a place for everyone here.

My Dad remembered the Stock Exchange there. He was at Birmingham I think.

No, you’re much mistaken. The big money in law and finance is rushing to Lower Widdling-on-the-Moor in Devon. It’s the happening place.

I echo the points made above- Leeds is great and the areas around improvise a brilliant quality of life and the perfect balance between country and access to the city. PP have mentioned Wetherby, Harrogate and the Wharfe Valley which I think would fit your requirements. Ilkley in particular is the best place in the world to live, IMO. #possiblybiased.

@time2changeCharlieBrown although some on this thread make me feel we won’t be welcome anyway

As a born and bred Yorkshire lass, I can guarantee that’s because of your original post.

It came across as negative from the get-go. Assuming it’s all doom and gloom, riddled with crime, shit weather and that your kids are too good looking striking and therefor will be a target for ‘something’?

If you had a completely different approach and open mind I’m sure myself and other Yorkshire and northern folk would have been happy to offer advice and be more welcoming.

Also to just describe it as the ‘North’. We have cities here. Towns. Villages. Hamlets. Countryside. Culture. Music. Castles. Rivers. Beaches. Coastlines. Amazing food and even better people.

Be a bit more open minded, and folk will be a lot more welcoming.

I think your concerns about weather are fair enough. It’s usually pretty miserable. Leeds fine as a City and huge student population so they will probably love it.

My brother moved to an area around 15 miles away from Leeds. My nephew commented on how much more he likes his secondary school in that area, because kids were openly bringing knives into his previous school in the south and that just doesn't happen in his current school. If you're googling the area and only finding stuff about crime, there's something very odd in your Google algorithm.

Just got back from staying in a village just outside of Leeds and spent the whole holiday saying how I’d like to move up there. It’s a lovely place and we holiday there often because it’s so lovely.

You're dreading a long weekend visit? What on earth do you think is going to happen?

Yes I get that I had my negative head on
and I came across wrongly
just worried about leaving our life and bubble although I can say it's. Not all that great here either, it’s lonely and boring, but never really hear of any crime , but I don’t really look for it
Either and it was just a shock to hear about some of the things happening on the community groups , although some pp pointing out that this is often the way with these groups and not a true reflection
I feel much more at ease after the useful information from some of the people here and some of the nearby areas sounds very appealing.
sorry it came across that way, I admit I was very negative and I can see now it’s unfounded and unbalanced view.
I am on a much more neutral level and ready to seriously consider the possibility of relocating and looking forward to visiting some of these areas mentioned above

Near Manchester is not the same as Leeds weather-wise. The west of the Pennines tends to be drier than the East - hence Lancashire spun cotton which needs a damper climate to not snap. I used to live in Ilkley (several lifetimes ago) easily commutable to Leeds and a lovely place to live.....
There are so many towns and villages around Leeds that offer a brilliant lifestyle - keep an open mind...

I should add I live one of the pit villages close to Garforth and it's a totally different vibe to the city centre and when I've lived in Harehills, Headingley and Burley in the past. Been living here over a decade and not encountered any crime on my street. It's all minor stuff like you get everywhere, like people shouting in the streets after they've had a few drinks and the odd whiff of weed as you walk past certain houses. I feel as safe here as the sleepy village I grew up in in North Yorkshire, it's just slightly more rough around the edges and less pretty. It's very much a case of research your area closely, which is the case everywhere. If you were planning on staying in the city centre when you visit, I probably wouldn't unless you're wanting to go bar hopping, as it might put you off.

Greeks are white- that doesn't count as mixed race. My grandad was Greek Cypriot, my dad half, the rest of us with a very strong Greek look. All lived in the north west and never had any problems, if anything we've always had compliments on our colouring/looks.

Not going to make you feel welcome?

Work your attitude you'll make yourself unwelcome. I don't mean to be offensive but you come across as incredibly naive. Crimes happen in all towns and cities. The nearest city to where you live in your quiet bubble will have a crime rate. Google that.

You need to integrate with community, not make yourselves stick out like sore thumbs with your overly anxious and judgemental attitude. If you do move into a naice road with a naice house you can't just all huddle round in your living room forever scared to leave the house in case you get stabbed and then expect to feel welcome. You're not moving country OP, you're moving further north! And it's not even that far up!

Same!

OP, your DH's friends and family who live in the North sound very negative about it, from what you say. If you go and visit a few areas recommended on this thread you'll be able to make up your own mind.

Kindly you do sound a bit... closed minded or daft tbh. I'm sure every local group has people moaning is that not just the point of them.

You sound a bit sheltered for somewhere like Kirkstall or Garforth tbh, try a small market town like Otley, or maybe Haorrogate/Ilkley/knaresbrough.

What's your house budget? Do you need schools?

That is so yesterday. Smart money is going to Pissington in Somerset. None of yer Northern oiks with their lack of a coast and days of endless night. The Cold dark North is no place for the genteel people of the South.