Aibu to not want to move up north

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My dh has been offered a great job opportunity a high payrise
the catch is we have to relocate up north near Leeds
so my main concerns is the weather
I hate winter, rain and snow and up there seems to get more?
also I joined a few online community groups recently to get a feel for it and learn about the areas and what’s around
all I have mainly seen is awful things about robbery’s and car theft and violent crimes! It’s really putting me off!
we have a son who is not too far off an age to go clubbing and for nights out and even though he is 6 foot 5 he’s very striking looking mixed race (Greek) and I worry about him being a target and our eldest daughter too also very striking ,but both quite naive as we currently live in a small village and don’t often go into big cities and they are at small schools.
my dh is from a different town up north not too far from Leeds still has friends there and says it’s fine and all city’s are the same and the kids will be fine as not in any gangs and unlikely to be. I am a worrier so Aibu to not want to move?

DS did find his hayfever was better living a bit further north though, that's probably weather related with it being cooler and wetter.

Lifestyle change?!

No, I don't think that you should go. I wouldn't be worried about the crime. I don't think that it's worse than most places. However, I would be wary about taking your children from their friends. And you presumably also have established your own life. What's to say that you will all be happier? What if your husband doesn't enjoy his new job? Or you moved and he lost his job? Unless you are unhappy with your current life, then stay put.

OP, I think by making this a North/South thing you have got a lot of people’s backs up. The issue is moving from a small coastal village or a big city, which is obviously going to be a big lifestyle change regardless of where the city is.

Somebody might be similarly reluctant to move from Seahouses (NE coast) to Leeds.

Do you seriously think that there are no beautiful villages in Yorkshire that are easily commutable from Leeds….?

Maybe move to Harrogate or York and he can commute from there on the train

This is exactly the stuff I’ve been reading about and worrying about, and dh family have mentioned these things too up there.
a few knife crime attacks and robberies and also some racism where they are and nearby.
I know things happen else where but seems certain places are worse than others
or at least you hear about them more
of course I don’t think it’s the slums
and yes I need to get out of my bubble more
(since COVID been home based more)
I am sure most people are lovely
although some on this thread make me feel we won’t be welcome anyway
we will still go for the weekend and visit as many places as possible and some do sound really nice and I am feeling better about seeing those
its giving me more to think about and the older dc are excited about potentially new places to explore with more going on they are very interested in arts and history so I think some of the places will be very appealing to them and my dh went to Leeds university so I think he’d be happy if our dc chose there, and our daughter is interested in arts and agriculture and hear York is good for that subject, so we shall see.

Would you consider York? It's a beautiful small safe city but only a 22min commute to Leeds by train.

Octopies… This is exactly the stuff I’ve been reading about and worrying about, and dh family have mentioned these things too up there.
a few knife crime attacks and robberies and also some racism where they are and nearby.
I know things happen else where but seems certain places are worse than others
or at least you hear about them more
of course I don’t think it’s the slums
and yes I need to get out of my bubble more
(since COVID been home based more)
I am sure most people are lovely
although some on this thread make me feel we won’t be welcome anyway
we will still go for the weekend and visit as many places as possible and some do sound really nice and I am feeling better about seeing those
its giving me more to think about and the older dc are excited about potentially new places to explore with more going on they are very interested in arts and history so I think some of the places will be very appealing to them and my dh went to Leeds university so I think he’d be happy if our dc chose there, and our daughter is interested in arts and agriculture and hear York is good for that subject, so we shall see.

This is helpful and it sounds good thank you

You are aware that there a small towns and villages literally everywhere in the UK right? It isn't something that is limited to the South only 🙄
You need to ensure you visit with an open mind otherwise you're wasting your time.
Cannot stand this bizarre attitude that people have about 'the North' though in all honesty Leeds really isn't that far into the North of England anyway.

Newscastle? My colleagues based in Newcastle/Middlesborough areas routinely refer to our Leeds and Mancs offices as being in the Midlands 😃

I would probably look at places on easy train routes to Leeds as you will probably find something more suitable for you then, as PP says York. When DS lived in Leeds and we holidayed in York it was very easy for him to get the train to meet up with us
Or if you wanted a smaller town or village see what is on the train route.

I'm north east and class Leeds as north.

I was just going to suggest York too, there'll be nice villages around too. Thirsk is one. Headingley is very studenty, chapel allerton near Leeds is nice.

...........I fully agree! And not forgetting the amazing variety of flat caps in t'shops, and the people being so tight that their arses squeak......

This is crackers OP. One voice amongst tons of others and you choose to focus on that.

I catch the train into Leeds a couple of times a week, also went to uni there, twice with a 30 year gap between the two. I often go out after work in the evenings, walk around the city alone as a 50 odd year old woman, because I feel safe, as safe as anywhere else.

I was proud of my home city during the recent racist mob behaviour. The counter anti-racist protestors saw off Nige's army. The cretins turned and ran away because hundreds of decent people turned out to stand up against racism.

The negative for you is that you might find house prices more expensive here than in the SW depending on where you are.

I wouldn't go to a village with an older teen/young adult personally. They'll enjoy ease of access to the city centre.

Yep, totally agree.

You do realise everyone in the north isn’t a snaggle toothed slack jawed drunk living in a crack den don’t you? 🙄

I'm Sunderland and I always think if you pinpoint Sheffield, draw a straight line across the country through Sheffield, that's where the North begins and ends.

Starting to think the OP is winding everyone up for a laugh. No one can possibly be this clueless and prejudiced and narrow-minded. Surely they can't be.

OP we moved to Wales from Southern England, and everyone kept saying why would you want to move there, it always rains in Wales? We ended up living there for 8 years, and I can honestly say that it didn't particularly feel like it rained there any more than down South. There were days when we had beautiful sunshine, while it was raining down South, and vice versa, so it really is very hard to judge, but in all honesty I wouldn't allow the weather to make a difference as to whether I accepted a job, particularly if it's a promotion with considerably more money. Yorkshire is absolutely beautiful too, so it's likely you'll be able to find just as nice a village as where you live now, and depending on where you are currently, and where you choose to move to, it could be cheaper too. I suggest doing LOTS of research, rather than just turning it down flat out of some misconceived idea you have in your head.

Thank you

Your kids will have a much better upbringing near/in a city where there's a lot more to do and many more socialising options, plus a lot more chances to be independent and experience different things. Kids hate living rurally, they're climbing the walls as teenagers. I remember a friend's child coming to visit me and looking crestfallen when we took them to a great hobby place and they were told there were no options for it near where they lived.

The north/south part is irrelevant, countryside to city is a much bigger change.

The only good thing about living rurally is grass, and you can just go to a park for that.

You'll probably feel intimidated by the tall buildings on your weekend away, that will take you some getting used to but is totally normal.

I went to Gloucester city centre recently and I now presume that all of the south west is exactly the same as Gloucester city centre (because, you know, THE NORTH is all the same, therefore, the south west is all the same). Anyway, I feel for you, living among such drug ridden poverty. You should try to make some money and move north if ever you're lucky enough to change the terrible circumstances you are currently in.