Mad to consider IVF in these circumstances?

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My little boy is the light of my life and we love him so very much. I've got a wonderful husband, son and a generally lovely life, but I'm yearning for more children so badly it's all I can think about. It was very difficult conceiving our son (took years, both DH and me fertility issues, but worked naturally eventually). I've always been afraid of IVF but have been considering it lately. However I've got a pituitary adenoma and been told with injecting hormones there's a chance it can grow and bleed into the brain (although chance is not big). It would also seriously diminish our savings to do IVF, but I'd love to give my child a sibling. My DH says to count our blessings and move on but I find it so hard - at the same time I wonder if it's good big of a risk! I need to make a decision soon as I'm 37 this year and can't think of anything else.

yabu- count your blessings and don't take the risk
Yanbu- you'll regret it if you don't go for IVF and at least try

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies. I really appreciate it and it's helped me confirm what I was thinking deep down (not to risk the lovely set up I have now). I might look into counselling but feeling very positive about the future already! ❤️

Focus on what you have rather than what you dont

Your health is paramount now. You have a son to raise:

Maybe spend the money on therapy instead

I have an only child. There are I think 6 onlies in their class

I don't understand the 'pressure' people say there is to have more than one. It's more and more common nowadays

Ive done IVF..:i was lucky

Im not doing it again as i have everything i need

Just a thought... are you not on Caber / Bromo? That can make you very fertile.

I’m in a similar (but not quite as extreme) position. Had my little boy after multiple rounds of IVF 2 years ago - after that I developed all sorts of autoimmune issues, which has led to, amongst other things, alopecia universalis. Following the posts with interest as I am conflicted and need to decide a way forward too!

It quickly adds up. I havenever totalled our spend, but I know it would definitely be more than £100k.

I wouldn't risk it. Your child needs you. But have you looked into super ovulation? That could help with your sporadic ovulation and may not have as many risks. It's also far cheaper than IVF.

So sorry to hear about your health issues! A friend of mine had colon cancer after 3 rounds of IVF (though of course I have no idea if this and the cancer are directly related!) but I've heard of.women with lots of different issues after going through hormone therapy. I'm very risk averse so I think I've kind of decided that I'll not go ahead with it. All the best for you and your family x

To conceive first time round I was on caber, it made my periods regular and I got pregnant. However, now my prolactin is normal but the tumour is still there (albeit it's shrunk slightly). I myself am probably more fertile now than first time round but my husband's sperm quality is now worse than a few years ago so hence why I'd have to go for ICSI!

Have the same adenoma and found that my first pregnancy seemed to reset my ovulation. So while I appreciate you've got issues on both sides, you may find that your own situation is improved slightly - the doctors seemed to find this an expected/possible impact of pregnancy.

Thanks for your reply! The first two years after having my son I didn't have a period at all, then it returned, and acupuncture made it more regular. But yes I agree I've been told that a pregnancy can have a very positive impact on prolactinoma. The problem is though (at least in my case) that big amounts of hormones such as with IVF can trigger growth of the adenoma....

You sound like you have a great, happy life. Personally I wouldn't risk it, your son won't have his mum and he needs you. Wishing you well OP

I’m guessing if you can’t afford £8k IVF then you wouldn’t be able to manage the financial burden of a bleed into the brain or your husband/son manage if you died. Asides from the obvious risk to health and life, this is also a consideration.

are you in the uk? Try Mr Ramsey in London for male fertility- soerm can be improved relatively cheaply with no hormonal impact on you (except pregnancy)

I agree with a lot of other posters, your child needs need a mum more than a sibling. I thought about giving my daughter a living sibling but my health would make it very risky. Up to you though of course.

Ps prolactin pituitary tumour is it? Mine didn't change at all during 2 pregnancies.

Lots of good advice on here and there is no right or wrong answer. If you decide not to go for it, could your partner try some of those high strength vitamins designed for.men to.improve sperms quality? Have heard anecdotally it can work. And anything to regulate your cycles supplement wise. Worth a go if you decide not to go.for.ivf.

Sorry no idea why there was a link in my post

At your age, already with a child, and the added risk. I probably wouldn’t to be honest. I’ve supported a partner through it, with no apparent fertility issues and it’s been 3 years

Yes so prolactinoma but by now, my prolactin is normal but the tumour is still there. Apparently less of a problem usually when it's "normal" conception but more of an issue with IVF stim drugs (at least that's what my endocrinologist told me). Glad it worked out fine for you and your family 😊

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes, I think to be honest I'm more and more thinking I'll leave it alone and not risk it

Thanks so much for your reply. Hubby on loads of supplements already but might try a more tailored one. Have read proxeed might be good? Also acupuncture which didn't help with conceiving but had lots of other benefits!

This. Your options are probably not IVF or nothing. There are never any guarantees on fertility treatment, but a consultation with a top specialist in male fertility like the one PP mentioned (you can do the appointment remotely) would be well worth your while to help consider your options (and a lot cheaper than IVF!)

Thanks so much. I suppose one does a sperm count first and the Dr can then assess and advise?

I know you say IUI isn't really an option with the male factor issues, but it would require no drugs on your side. It might have a low percentage of success but better than no intervention and safer for you.

Also it's significantly less expensive than IVF (although my experience is some time ago now)