I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

Best wishes @thequickbrowndog I'm sorry you have been treated so badly 💐

Why would that be unreasonable ? Doesn't matter what job you do if you're miserable then you should leave. Good luck.

Dramatic, much? Just quit if you're not enjoying your job, people do that every day.

YABU! I work in a state school. My boss is mostly lovely, very supportive. Fab comradery between all staff.

Friends in other schools in the area say the same with the exception of 1 school where they have one of those ghastly ivory tower heads.

If you enjoy the teaching then just find another school.

@Delilahhhh I'm so sorry for what you experienced and glad you were able to protect yourself and your baby by going off until your mat leave and not coming back!

Would you mind if I asked how this worked, as in at what point you went off? Did you have to start mat leave early or were you off sick before your last month of pregnancy?

I'm currently pregnant (14w) and had a lot of health issues last year especially, and some in previous years from work-related stress. My plan was to hold out until the Spring half term which is just before my due date but I had my first INSET back last week and I'm dreading it, I can already see how the school has had bright ideas with not a lot of thought behind them, that require soo much problem-solving with one hand tied behind our back because of the lack of resources. And that's even before the time it takes to lesson plan before beginning a day of work.

I also planned to take a year out and come back part time for some stability but I'm now feeling like this really isn't a job I want to come back to and ideally I wouldn't even be returning until my due date. I've even been considering starting mat leave early but just need to look at the finances.

Pointless comment much!

perhaps this post should be moved to the staff room board, as AIBU will draw people who don’t agree and they are then getting their posts deleted.

Absolutely! And there is just so much work required to do after school hours in order for you to do the work you need to during school hours, which are mostly taken up by teaching and duties. I have 150 minutes of PPA a week to teach a full timetable of 5 year groups and 6 GCSE classes of different abilities, it is nowhere near enough and just expected that you will complete work in your own time.

When I worked office jobs with flexitime, if you came in at 7.30, you could leave at 4pm and have an hour for lunch, breaks when needed and you wouldn't take work home (except at one peak time a year and when I was in management - but you could make up for this later on). If you do this in teaching, you will be completely unprepared for lessons - and that's without SLT doing learning walks to check you're not sitting down!

Rude much? Nothing wrong with @Wakeywake comment. You can’t be rude to everybody who points out that people leave jobs every day. I get that being a teacher is a hard job and being bullied isn’t something anyone should put up with, but you seem very hostile to anyone who disagrees with you and a lot of so called “bullying” in this thread is not bullying imo. As someone who states they are being bullied, I would hope you would recognise the difference between actual bullying and someone having a different view point to yourself.

Yes, there's an interesting interpretation of bullying from a few posters.

@Justbeliketheraggydolls I think you'll find I haven't called anyone a bully. Perhaps read the thread before you comment

@Justbeliketheraggydolls I think the issue in teaching is the required notice, even at a junior level.

I left a job in July because I recognised I was a square peg in a round hole and wasn't pulling my weight in a team of four. Handed in my notice around a week in to July and last day was 31st with a fortnight's holiday in between. Charitable sector.

Started new job on 13 August in a role I'd been in before and loved, same sector different part of a federal structure. It felt like coming home

Life is too short to be so unhappy and we spend so many hours of our life at work. A family member was feeling very similar. She tried a couple of different schools but still found that teaching was sucking the life out of her. She now works in a different role, still in a school but safeguarding and it isn’t without its challenges but she’s much happier and has more free time - no more lesson planning and marking at home.
i hope you find the right balance for you

Absolutely agree with you, it’s madness. Any teacher would agree. I’m not saying it is right, but it’s the way it is (rightly or wrongly) and every teacher knows that. It comes with the job and it’s a condition you take on when you enter that field.
Thank you for your polite reply.

@thequickbrowndog you are being very rude. You might want to rethink whether AIBU is the best place for this conversation

I’m not a troll. I’m just a person who has been through some shit in my career and left and took a different job in a completely new area. I had a lot of time off with my mental health over the previous 2 years, but I worked my notice and I walked out without so much as a “bye” after 18 years in the field. And it was the best decision I ever made…

but I am still entitled to say the OP is rude

Is this the way you respond to any criticism at work too?

You can't say that OP's comment of 'pointless much' was rude but the comment of 'dramatic much?' was ok!

Besides, that posters comment was pointless as she was giving redundant advice. OP has already stated she has decided to leave, which she made clear in her very first post. It was literally a pointless comment.

I’m sorry you feel the need to leave. Some people are just bizarre on these threads and so so very unhelpful whilst shouting that they have the right to know your life story. I have been in your shoes and I am so sorry. I actually posted on here when I was at my lowest ebb and found the responses helpful but I posted in the work chat and found the advice a lot less troll-ey.

Some say AIBU wasn't the right place for this question as the phrase itself encourges people to vote one way or the other.

Not just AIBU; people who are openly disbelieving or quick to condemn and judge others are all over threads about Welfare Benefits too. They post stuff that makes it crystal clear they've no understanding of the subject whatever.

This is so true.

Another PTA parent was telling me that she saw our HT telling off a learning support teacher for being late (again).

As much as that's not acceptable in itself there's no way any other workplace would think the way school leaders speak to both their colleagues and students is ok. Raising voices in anger at other people is no longer appropriate, and nor should it be.

I think, for many of us, it is a bigger deal than leaving most jobs precisely because we haven't experienced that 'big wide world' ever. Not everyone obviously, I know plenty of teachers have had previous careers. But, if you haven't, a classroom is literally all you know. I went from school to university to teaching and have not left the education system since the age of 3 - which is 37 years ago! I wouldn't know where to begin finding another kind of job. Luckily, I wouldn't want to because I love teaching and love the holidays even more. 4 weeks off a year fills me with horror. 😉 I have always had a summer and can't imagine surviving without one.

OP, I've only got as far in the thread as the post I've quoted but it sounds like you need another school, not another career. Why give up a profession you enjoy because of some horrible people. Most teachers are not toxic bullies. And I think you're getting a hard time because you stated that your plan to get out of the notice period was to go off sick. You didn't say that you are sick. Obviously the latter is reasonable whereas the former is an awful thing to do. But you weren't clear (at least early on) which was the case.

OP put yourself first and make the right decision for you. Don’t let anyone on here who has no idea what you’re going through feel guilty in any way, For those saying it’s unfair to colleagues or children, this is not the OPs problem. If schools cared about staff and students then they would treat staff better to reduce this situation from happening in the first place. I’m leaving teaching next week after 20 years for similar reasons. I’m curious to know where these lovely schools are because I’m not aware of many! I’ve only worked in one that didn’t have the issues the OP referred to. However, judging by the fact that I recognise a few names from that school on the FB leaving teaching forum I’m assuming that school is no longer as lovely as it once was! Rather than arguing on here it would be more productive if people were actively trying to improve the situation in schools. With so many teachers leaving and few people wanting to join, I’m genuinely afraid for the future of education in this country!