I'm quitting teaching, I've decided, AIBU?

[thequickbrowndog]

That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving! I've spent the whole summer dreading going back. I adore the kids (secondary boys school) but I can't be bullied anymore. I can't stand my work colleagues, I've had to make a formal complaint about bullying. My boss clearly favours other staff over me. Everything always just seems unfair but I just have to get on with it. I work part time but am stressed about it full time because of all the passive aggressive emails while I'm off.
I don't have a job to go to yet, but I'm just done. I can't go back. AIBU?

I'm right in thinking I've read you've been teaching 20+ years @thequickbrowndog ?

Is it worth thinking back to the culture on some of your previous schools, or have you been in this one a long time?

If there are so many teachers thinking it's normal to go off 'on the sick' then it sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

Why you don't you sign up to do teacher training if it's such an attractive prospect? Perhaps you'd be able to prevent all those poor children being taught 'fuck all'.

That sounds like a great idea.

Hi OP. Sounds like you need time to heal and then be in the position to press the reset button.

The poster who said if you struggle on till December, you'll be in no position to make positive decisions in January, makes a very good point.

I'm a teacher, but I'm retraining this year to lead outdoor learning. Workload halved, as no pastoral responsibilities. Less pay and a not so generous pension scheme. But still with the energising staff and pupils we love, who keep us young.

Don't write teaching off just yet. The profession is so lucky to have you. Say a prayer to the Universe and in the right time, space and sequence you will be presented with the role of your dreams.

Supply teaching is a learning opportunity for growth. That's the most positive thing I can say about it, plus the reduced workload. The biggest shock is not being paid your worth and the greatest moment will be when you find your new 'tribe.' X

Just short of 20 years. My previous school was fantastic initially. Had the best HOD, fantastic colleagues. Loved it. New HOD took over, new HT and there arrived the toxic culture that remains to this day. I've had time off to have children in between and been in current job 3 years

It has worked out, though recovery took far longer than I expected. I went into a different career, but I still feel the aftershocks of what happened years later. It wasn't as simple as finding a new job and magically being better. There are long-term impacts from that kind of experience.

When I look back, the pressure was in everyone - I feel a lot of sympathy for those young Heads of Dept who were not equipped for what they were facing either. All of that pressure flows downwards, from middle management to classroom teachers to kids trapped on that gruelling exam conveyer belt and it felt like everyone was at breaking point all the time.

There is so much I miss about teaching, and I was so good at it and so passionate. I am still sad it broke me, though far happier and better on the other side.

My kids are in private school now (I moved into a much more lucrative and far less stressful field!) because I know how terrible the multi-academy trust model is for staff and students alike.

Sometimes you have to close a door so another one can open. Best of luck for the future OP!

Yes you cant half turn up to teaching. It's intense treadmill everyday. You can turn up at the office/log on and just half work until you have a new job. If you are struggling with mh or suffering burnout it's not possible. Imagine acting each night on a stage with an audience you can't just half do it. I imagine many NHS jobs are similar - hence the long sick policies in both NHS and education as there's recognition you just can't do a 10% job of teaching.

I'm other jobs I've had yes of course you can turn up and do a bit of faffing on the computer and get in the zone on your own and get some work done. Performing type jobs like teaching or nursing where you have to be hyper alert all the time just aren't like this.

So then the school should sort out the issues that led her to be in this situation shouldn't they?!

Love this <3

This is what I don't understand about teachers/teaching. Why is there such a 'thing' about deciding to do another job? Loads of people hand their notice in and decide to do something else everyday with no drama.

I’m not sure there are people leaving other professions on the same scale, are there? There are 160,000+ teachers on the Exit the classroom Facebook group. 40,000 teachers left the classroom last year.

Are there similar numbers of people who loved accountancy/speech therapy/dentistry/midwifery enough to spend 4/5 years training and then felt they had no choice but to leave? It’s a huge amount of time and emotional investment in training and doing these careers and is not the same as working in a shop for a year and then leaving and going to work in a garage.

100% agree with all of this. Good luck with your leap!

@SippedAway so glad you've moved on. What did you move into BTW? All the jobs I am looking at look like I will get trapped in a lower paid role with no progression and I desperately want to work myself into soemthing that eventually is better paid.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

Specials are wonderful places. Less pressure to achieve exams. More holistic teaching. More staff about, due to the needs of the children. And the staff are generally very caring people, as you have to be because of the needs of the children.

Personally, I think it's more paperwork, as you have to cater for individual needs and can't reuse lessons as easily. And you need a lot of resilience if you're working in a SEMH school. But it's so very very rewarding.

OP, I'm so glad you're putting yourself first. I made the jump from toxic school to a different one - I agreed in my head that if I didn't enjoy it I was quitting by October half term. It was a complete world away from what I left and I've been here 7 years now.

For example, where I work I don't ask anyone if I can go home when I'm ill - I trusted as an adult to know if I'm too ill to be at work. It seems shocking to me know that in previous place professional adults were told they didn't look ill enough to go home. When I was off for a whole week in the first half term they sent flowers and told me not to worry about cover work.

As for sick pay through notice period - you're doing the right thing. Not just for yourself either, though that obviously matters. A stressed adult really shouldn't be in charge of children because it is a recipe for disaster. The potential harm that could be caused to a child just isn't worth it.

For people judging the OP for knowing how long she'll be off sick for - it's like getting annoyed at someone for knowing they'll be travel sick for exactly the length of the car journey. The workplace is causing the illness so she'll be ill as long as she's employed there. It isn't OP's fault they refuse (for a whole year) to deal with workplace bullying, nor that notice periods are so long.

I totally understand everything you say.

I left teaching a couple of years ago and went into an education management position in a cultural institution. I took a 50% pay cut and lost the holidays. Honestly, it wasn't worth it for me. I was working just as hard as in teaching (I know, I wasn't expecting that either) as the institution I worked for was chaotic and understaffed, and I had zero job satisfaction, because the human connection I love about teaching wasn't there.

I went back to teaching but to a private school. Workload is very manageable and I enjoy the job. I don't really do very much at home apart from at crunch points in the term when I get hit with loads of exam marking.

You have to think about why you want to leave. If you still love teaching, then a different school is often the best answer. If teaching itself no longer inspires you, then teachers are in high demand in many other sectors. I would recommend going to a careers coach to go through your CV with you and help you rewrite it to show your transferrable skills, help you identify what you would like to do, and then get you started on a job search. Many former teachers go into the civil service, local councils, universities, cultural institutions, etc, but when you've been in one job for a really long time and that's how you see and identify yourself, you often need a bit of outside help to support you in reframing your professional future.

Good luck.

I think so many teachers will identify with you. I worry to think where the teaching profession will be in a few years time. It’s bad enough now.

Yes, I don't think I suggested otherwise.

@JemimaTiggywinkles Yes! I want perks such as going to the loo, being trusted with my workload and some empathy when I'm unwell. Maybe even being able to take doctors appointments...

What type of job do you do now? How hard did you find getting one?

I have a couple of friends who have moved from mainstream into special and whilst they have both said the paperwork is less (though this does seem to be rising) they’ve said that managing the adults in the room (far more adults than you ever get in a mainstream classroom) can be incredibly difficult and quite stressful. One friend was really turned upon by a group of support staff in her classroom who had all worked together for years and they were vile to her.

There will be issues in all jobs, I’m sure-but they both said that the ‘managing adults’ aspect of teaching in special was something they hadn’t anticipated being so hard and worth being aware of in advance.

I'm still in teaching I'm afraid! But I'm in an independent school. Everyone I knew in state is either leaving or desperate to do so. Apart from one person who got rapidly promoted and has turned into the slt we used to hate (her favourite phrase is "it won't take much extra time so just do it").

My sister just left teaching and does lots of tutoring. Mostly home schooled children, school refusers etc. It isn't as well paid but she loves it. My best friend is doing a part time uni course in nutrition whilst working part time in school. Once the course is over she's moving to that role.

Because of the current financial situation in independent schools I'm looking at uni outreach just in case. My subject (physics) is shortage and I live near a city with two universities.

No you are 100% not being unreasonable.

It’s f*in toxic in many schools. I got out too. I experienced and saw this exact bullying in three schools I taught in. It’s rife and people outside of teaching don’t realize.

Schools are breeding grounds for bullying and toxicity amongst staff and amongst students. Run for the hills.

Good luck, OP.

I made the leap a couple of years back. Just quit and never looked back. Best thing I ever did.

You won't have given in to the bully if you go on to have a much nicer life and also, by removing their 'supply', they move onto another and the more times this happens, the more obvious is it that they are, indeed a bully.

If it was just the bully that is the issue, then you would have a point but the others are backing the bully so they are all shits.

Get out.

I worked in a profession that notoriously cannot get or keep staff. It is because of toxic workplaces and a natural imbalance between the people that work in the profession. The managers are also not natural managers but, due to the lack of staff (see above) anyone and everyone gets to take a managemental role no matter their training or suitability. This adds to the toxicity.

I wish now, looking back, I had not bothered to train for this profession but instead just worked in factories and in shops. Jobs where, once I left for the day, I never gave the place another thought until I walked back in. I would be healthier and probably richer as I would have had less time off ill and with stress.

Don't underestimate how sick making a toxic work environment can be.

What about a move to part time? 3 days a week in teaching allows a more normal work life balance. If you still want to leave the other 2 days allow you a little time for job hunting/training.