Does anyone else not really have any friends?

[Hernamewaslola22]

Wondering if it's just me. I have friends at work and 1 or 2 out of work...we very very rarely do anything together. I spend most weekends completely alone. I feel like most women have these big groups of girlfriends.

Its hard. I find people dont make efforts now. Must catch up soon xx texts. I focus on 3 good friends thats it. My daughter in football and said big groups can get bitchy. You can see how hard it would be to meet new people.

I have a couple of good friends and the rest are acquaintances. I find friendships can be exhausting tbh sometimes, I'm very much an introvert and like staying at home.

I have quite a few best friends and good friends I like and trust, spread over the globe but personally I think having 3 close friends is a healthy amount.

Not everyone needs to have a massive group or extensive network of friends.

I used to have way more friends but IMO it’s quality > quantity.

I’d say the issue is when someone has no one at all to call a friend.

I have one friend she is 12 years younger than me I'm mid 40s but she just started her family .I'm mum of teenagers. We had good and bad times but always work to improve so is not easy relationship. Also I have a gay friend I see him ocasionally. I'm extrovert so is hard for me to be lonely. I use meet up groups to go hiking and socialise for sometime already but haven't meet anybody interesting enough to call a friend. I'm very serious about frenships as have been used by people in the past. I'm very sensitive and overlooking as well which makes harder to build any miningful friendship with me. I also find that the most toxic people I know have large friends circles. I don't like small talk I like men company more than female company.
I have also lovely ladies at work I WFH but we socialise occasionally although I don't know if I leave we will keep in touch. Ladies are older then me 10-15 years or more.

Sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you and you find at least one friend.

Do you have any other strong relationships in your life?

Lots of sexist views on this thread. With the pick-me comments about ‘I prefer male friends’. My women friends over the years have offered me kindness and support, as I have to them. No drama involved. Well not past the teen years and I am in my fifties.

People need not to stereotype 50% of the population. Ironically, the posters perpetuating these sexist tropes about female friendships are of course women too.

@Screenshotted

People need not to stereotype 50% of the population. Ironically, the posters perpetuating these sexist tropes about female friendships are of course women too.

They are also invariably the same people who turn around when their marriages fail and say: “Where did all my friends go?”

After they have neglected them for decades because of the “drama” and the importance of focusing on “my little family”.

I genuinely have zero friends - relocated for work to the other side of the world and can’t seem to find anyone who wants to spend any time with me. In London I had a huge bunch of ‘mates’ and some close friends I’d see regularly, who I miss a lot.

Over here, I’m always saying hi to everyone at morning school drop off, and am trying things like swimming and hoping I can strike up a conversation - but I can’t seem to get to friendship level.

My parents are in their 80s. The friends of theirs who are doing the best are the ones who have had an active social life and friends. Having kids does not seem to have made a huge difference to their well-being in that their adult children often busy with their own lives or working elsewhere. What does make a difference is having friends to meet up with for coffee or walks or just pop over with a bag of apples from the tree.

I think maintaining friendships does take effort. There are of course valid reasons beyond someone’s control why they may end up with no friends. But I put a hell of a lot of effort in my twenties and probably more so in my thirties to keep socialising despite working full-time and having young kids. Now our kids have now left home for University and I am so glad that we have these friendships to fall back on. My husband and I have different friends as well as the ones we have together. I think it is important not to depend on your partner for your social life if possible. I know not everybody can achieve that.

The one thing I would say is that it is never too late. I met my closest friend when I was 45! I always make an effort when I meet new people and make them feel welcome. Then the person I met age 45, we just suddenly clicked and now we message most days and meet up regularly. of course I also see my friends from when I was at university but for some reason this woman and I really clicked as we have the same views on most things and the same humour.

You never know who you might meet as a friend so I would say don’t give up hope, and keep an open mind.

Yes, I am in London and find it easy to keep my friendships going. I don’t know how it would be if I moved to a different country. I imagine it must be much harder. Especially if there is a language barrier. Although there can also of course still be a cultural divide.

Nope hardly any friends. Feel feel to PM me or anyone that wants random chats.

I have a couple of groups of friends, one a mixture of childhood / uni friends that has amalgamated over the years, and a group of friends I’ve picked up post-Uni, through work, friends of friends, etc.

In the latter group is say I’m good friends (in the sense I would and do see them individually with 3 of the 10). The others I’m friendly with, but don’t see outside the group and if the group fell away, I probably wouldn’t see them again. I’d say that’s probably the same for others in the group too.

Absolutely none.

What happened @Fromage as you said you used to have friends?

Despite having a fair amount of friends, I feel lonely sometimes due to distance and also being single. So not having any close relationships at all must be so tough 💐

Did you just lose contact with your friends?@Fromage

I think as a pp said - there’s always hope that you can forge new connections and friendships .

None where I live. Certainly no friends who I ever see socially. A couple (at most 4) who live in different parts of the country so our regular contact is online chats. No friends from my kids at preschool for last 15 months or that they will go to school with in 10 days time.Totally isolated and hate my life.

I don't have any 'going out with' friends.

I'd love to go out dancing on Saturday nights. But haven't had a friend to do that with for years and years.

Covid. Mental health crash.

I thought I was the only in this situation. Anyone in Southampton?

Takes loads of efforts. Most my age are juggling elder parents at wends Im 50s. So you dont have loads of spare time. Sometimes just easier to go myself cinema etc as people dont commit or they dont follow up plans.

I have online friends but no one in real life I could meet for a coffee or go shopping/to the pub with.

I live in London and lots of my friends have moved out to get on the property ladder. We still meet up but it's generally a big faff and a big event rather than spontaneous let's go for a quick drink

I'm so sorry, @GCautist that sounds terribly hurtful.

I have a ton of internet friends (if one can call those kind of relationships friendships) but IRL I would say just one. I lost the couple friends when my marriage broke up and I've moved a lot, so it's been hard, especially with Covid because I'm immunocompromised. I have not socialized at all since it started. My new friend is my lovely next door neighbour. I moved to where I am about two and a half years ago and am just starting to build friendships with the other ladies in my age group who live around here. We chat a lot when we are out walking our dogs, but I'm unsure how to take things further. I'm extremely introverted, so it's hard for me. These ladies seem to like me, but I'm ND and it's hard for me to tell whether or not somebody would like to be my friend.
I am always open to new internet friends, so anybody else who is lonely and who thinks she might be simpatico with somebody as introverted as me, feel free to PM me.
It's not as good as a RL friendship, but there's always the possibility of getting to know each other to the level that we can at least talk on the phone, text each other, etcetera.