For helping to clean up in a restaurant after DC

[Starsponge]

On holiday and my youngest made a huge mess in the all inclusive buffet, yogurt all over the floor, baked beans everywhere-utter destruction! I proceeded to clean up just before we were leaving, I cleaned the tables and picked up all the food on the floor. DH looked aghast as to why I was doing such a thing and him and teen DS laughed that I was taking the jobs away from the waiting staff. I argued that these jobs are low paid and it’s only polite to not leave a massive mess. My attempt to clean up was seen as ridiculous and DS and DH laughed their heads off 🙄

I’ve posted about DH before undoing any attempts to bring up our children to be polite, helpful and respectful. He was the one that I had to fight with when our oldest found iPods and I wanted him to hand them in.

I always clean up in cafes after my children have made a mess and would be embarrassed to leave it filthy. AIBU?

👏🏻💯

Is your DH the 1% who voted YABU?

I own a cafe bar and we welcome families in. While I don't expect anyone to clear up after their DC we are really grateful if they do. The absolute mess some people leave beggars belief. I would never have left a mess when my DD was little.

Is it? There are other people besides young children who'd also like to "find themselves comfortable" in the dining area.
Since when does feeling comfortable equate to leaving the place like a midden?

I always cleared up too.

People who don't are animals.

maldensalt · Today 14:45

why did DH looked aghast ?

Because, how can I put this diplomatically .... he's a wanker.

There’s nothing I hate more than watching parents let their kids make a huge mess and then just leaving it for staff to clean up. Its disgusting. Your husband and son need to grow up. I feel sorry for whoever your son marries and has kids with if this is his attitude.

Of course YANBU. I used to judge the fuck out of people like your husband in my waitressing days.
Good luck with leaving him - you sound lovely and like you'll be heaps better off without him.

I'm just gobsmacked that he encouraged your son to mock and laugh at you. He sounds like a prize, erm, something.

It wasn't left like a midden though, was it? OP cleared up as appropriate.

Perhaps if you go on holiday to a family hotel you should expect families of all ages to be there.

Your DH is an inconsiderate twat, and sadly your DS seems to be at risk of heading the same way. Off course you shouldn't just leave a total mess to be cleaned up by someone else

I clean up most of it. It's not perfect when I've finished. I tip well when I eat out with my kids.!

I make an effort to tidy up and leave things neat and clean wherever I've been, and to the best of my ability with the tools I have.

I'd use a baby wipe to wipe the worst off a high chair and pick up big lumps of food, in the same way I'd put rubbish in a hotel room in the bin and stack dirty towels in the bath etc. But I wouldn't expect to be scrubbing things or using specialist cleaning products or tools.

I think it comes down to decent human respect. I wouldn't expect others to clear up after me.

Bringing up children to have respect for people and environment is in this acts.
My dc, for example, learnt from a young age that we clear away our table for fast food etc. We are polite and say thank you properly and sincerely for help. We are honest and hand in lost belongings, we treat people how we would want us to be treated.
2 of mine are proper grown up, one is a teen. I really think it's fundamental. I don't think I could cope with a dh who did not see this stuff as basic human dignity.

Absolutely agree, I wouldn’t go mad cleaning up every crumb but big bits of food / spills I always pick up what I can quickly do.

I used to be a waitress and still remember a table about 20 years ago of four mums and many children that left it in an absolute state (food everywhere, wet wipes all over the show) and didn’t have the decency to tip!!

As a lifelong hospitality worker, thank you.

Tell your husband he's a twat.

Having worked as a waitress all through uni I not only clear up after my kids, I automatically stack plates and cutlery and move it all to the side of the table where it is easily picked up.

To not tidy up after your kids is the height of bad manners.

Your DH is rude and arrogant. He is passing it on to your DS. Nip that in the bud.

Absolutely not being unreasonable.

i always try to tidy any mess my kids make to make it easier on the staff.

alway strip the beds in hotels or wherever am
staying to help the cleaners day go a bit easier xx

He sounds really scummy

I worked in a supermarket cafe and it used to really cunt me off if people left their tables in the state you mentioned and made no attempt to clean it. Carry on being a decent human, ignore your DH

Are that age, my youngest DS was an incredibly messy eater and I would clean up after him in restaurants to some extent too, especially stuff on the floor as someone could slip over!

I always clean up after my youngest makes a mess when eating out. Being in the server industry though, I will always thank parents who do this and offer to take over. The amount of servers that do not even say thank you for cleaning up as they walk past me on the floor is horrendous.
Your husband is a dick, have words with him.

I was once in an airport queue behind a family like yours. Poor woman looked beat with two smalls and the husband and elder boy disparaged and belittled them in a vile tag team. The boy was already a vile person but there was still hope for her younger ones just like there is with yours.

i very much enjoyed “accidentally” slamming my luggage trolley into the fellas ankles all the way through the queue.

Having been a waitress having to clean up after other people’s kids who leave tables like a pig sty…. You are not being unreasonable. You are being a normal, considerate human being. Waiting staff are not there to clean up such mess.

I don’t allow my child to make such a mess. She tidies up after herself (with my help) and I’d be mortified leaving a mess. Your DH and teen DS both need a reality check and to wind their necks in, thinking tidying up your family mess isn’t their job. Pee off the waiting staff and just imagine what they might do to your next meal?! I know I would…!!

Their attitude is disgusting. Honestly i think id bin my husband for such comments. On what planet does anyone have a right to leave their shit for someone else to pick up?

Going to bet him and your son do eff all at home because you run about after them. Pack his bags and get shot of him.

As for son, id be doing absolutely bugger all for him. He would be learning respect and common decency the hard way. Vile attitude to have!