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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Arse!

67 replies

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:30

So, invited my friend and his children to my parents house abroad, meaning they only had to pay for flights. According to my friend, his kids were buzzing for this holiday of 14 nights. I've fed them, done all the cleaning, taken them on days out when all they did was moan, asking when we were going back, then slothing around on beds on phones. They then accused us of not doing anything with them, but when we do, we get the attitude and disengagement. Ps I have two teenagers of a similar age who are very grateful. My friend asks his kids what they want for lunch every time, even if it's separate. I made the mistake of making everyone sandwiches without asking, and instead of a thank you, I got "wow I didn't know I wanted a sandwich", then get called an asshole. AIBU to expect a bit more respect. My friend has now booked flights 4 days early than planned to get his kids home. Just feel a bit used 😓😓 I'm glad they're going early as they're dragging everyone down, but now lost transport as he was driving and we are remote. Would you be angry? 😓

OP posts:
HauntedbyMagpies · 22/08/2024 21:53

Wowwwww could your 'friend' be any worse of a parent? Bloody hell. How to raise entitled kids Lesson 1

CheeseDreamsTonight · 22/08/2024 21:56

Oh I do feel for your friend here as it sounds as if he is out of his depth and has just tried to end the awfulness quickly. I bet he is mortified.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 21:57

LadyGAgain · 22/08/2024 21:33

YANBU
he needs to parent his children. Step up and say NO.
They're off home early? Another example of his shit parenting.
So sorry you've had to find out this way.

Thank you x

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:00

CharlotteRumpling · 22/08/2024 21:34

I don't understand how you are cleaning and cooking for rude DC who are not your own or even your step children!

I've insisted as he has really bad psoriasis and I see pics of food with skin on the plate 🤢

OP posts:
blubberball · 22/08/2024 22:01

Well, they won't be being invited again

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:01

HauntedbyMagpies · 22/08/2024 21:53

Wowwwww could your 'friend' be any worse of a parent? Bloody hell. How to raise entitled kids Lesson 1

I have a special needs child and he's not as difficult as they are 🙈

OP posts:
GedEye · 22/08/2024 22:02

Even if the DC have gone through a tough time, the lesson here is be rude and get your own way.

No.

have a conversation… ‘you (DC) are all important to me and so is my friend. They have invited us and you will behave appropriately. I’d like to understand why you said X’

Parenting is sometimes having the difficult conversation.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:02

CheeseDreamsTonight · 22/08/2024 21:56

Oh I do feel for your friend here as it sounds as if he is out of his depth and has just tried to end the awfulness quickly. I bet he is mortified.

He's apologised so much but treats them like nothings happened. It's cost him a. Extra £300 🙈

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:04

ThatTealViewer · 22/08/2024 21:35

This. What on Earth?!

It's just disgusting x

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:05

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:06

blubberball · 22/08/2024 22:01

Well, they won't be being invited again

We've both said that!

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

GedEye · 22/08/2024 22:02

Even if the DC have gone through a tough time, the lesson here is be rude and get your own way.

No.

have a conversation… ‘you (DC) are all important to me and so is my friend. They have invited us and you will behave appropriately. I’d like to understand why you said X’

Parenting is sometimes having the difficult conversation.

I've told him I've found them ungrateful. When it was addressed, that they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, we got a scoff and an abusive comment 😓

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 22/08/2024 22:08

I imagine teens are the reason mothers in the animal kingdom sometimes eat their young.

They sound like horrible brats. He needs to grow a spine and parent them properly.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:08

I've told him I've found them ungrateful. When it was addressed, that they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me, we got a scoff and an abusive comment 😓

From the same child ,😓

OP posts:
DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 22/08/2024 22:10

Eating skin? As a psoriasis suffer I find your response disgusting. Do you know what psoriasis is?

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:10

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Just to add, he leaves a trail.of skin all over my house, so yes, it's an issue when he doesn't help himself. I don't need you judging me when I deal with this all the time. Thanks.

OP posts:
Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:11

offyoujollywelltrot · 22/08/2024 22:08

I imagine teens are the reason mothers in the animal kingdom sometimes eat their young.

They sound like horrible brats. He needs to grow a spine and parent them properly.

I agree

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:12

Why on earth did you choose to go on holiday with him, when you are so clearly utterly disgusted by his skin condition, ffs. And, yes I will judge you for your deeply unpleasant attitude. I hope he isn't aware of your disgust for him.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:14

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 22/08/2024 22:10

Eating skin? As a psoriasis suffer I find your response disgusting. Do you know what psoriasis is?

Yes, and his Psoriasis is that bad that it's every where and he needs help. He is set from not moisturising and his "flakes" are everywhere. Do you know what it is to have it so severe?

OP posts:
CheeseDreamsTonight · 22/08/2024 22:14

@Hayley795 that's very tricky if he sees it but does nothing. These things do have consequences and he needs to choose - have hard conversations or keep suffering these situations.

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:16

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:05

Thanks for the advice

dry

OP posts:
Augustisnearlydonesogoodbyesun · 22/08/2024 22:20

Tip for the future.. Don't travel with reptiles.... He isn't managing his condition if he is shedding everywhere.. Grim. My dd has psoriasis and it doesn't affect other people..

Hayley795 · 22/08/2024 22:22

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:12

Why on earth did you choose to go on holiday with him, when you are so clearly utterly disgusted by his skin condition, ffs. And, yes I will judge you for your deeply unpleasant attitude. I hope he isn't aware of your disgust for him.

He knows it's a problem for himself, but has dealt with it so long that for him, it's become a non issue. Of course I've told him. It's uncomfortable for everyone around him when there is a simple solution. What wouldnt I tell him as a friend?

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 22/08/2024 22:23

SilenceInside · 22/08/2024 22:04

Please try and contain your disgust at your friend's skin condition. You are missing the point - the question was why wasn't he pulling his weight, regardless of the specific breakdown of tasks. No one reading your posts will be able to psychically guess that you have a reason for doing all the cooking.

Also, your posts don't need to end with an "x" every time...

Oh hush. Adding an x at the end of messages isn't hurting you. 🙄

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