Huge row with DH over food safety - who is BU?

[namechange294824]

NC'ed on the off chance this is outing!

DH and I are both 34. We've been in the process of moving house over the past 2 months, and are finally in a position to have guests in the house (i.e. we have a dining table and chairs). Moving hasn't been without its challenges and there have been some really stressful bits, but on the whole it's been fairly straightforward, and we don't have kids.

Invited DH's parents (mid/late 60s) to dinner on Tuesday night. I offered to cook. I prepared a starter, a main, and a dessert on Monday night, ready to go in the fridge for ease of serving quickly on Tuesday (I was going to be getting in from work only 20 mins or so before they arrived so it made sense to pre-prepare.) I spent 3.5 hours cooking/baking on Monday, which wiped out my entire post-work evening. No drama; I'd offered to do it, and I enjoy cooking.

But throughout this 3.5 hours DH could not help himself from repeatedly putting his head round the door and being critical - why hadn't I done X? Was I going to bother putting Y in the bin or is it going to be left on the side forever? So on, so forth. I asked him to stop, and he didn't. He probably whinged at me 5 times about separate trivial things whilst I was cooking.

The main dish needed a long while in the oven. It was 9.15pm at this point and he had totally exhausted me with his bitching and griping. I told him I just wanted to shower and go to bed and asked him to take the food out of the oven once the timer went off, which would have been at 10pm.

He did that. But he then failed to put it in the fridge, leaving it out overnight on the countertop. He was watching telly until about midnight, well after the point it would have cooled enough to go in the fridge.

I was so furious in the morning that after a night of whinging and sniping at me he'd not even had the thought to properly put away the food I'd spent so long cooking.

His position: the food's fine, it had foil on it anyway, just crack on and serve it tonight

My position: it's a meat dish (with pork in) and I don't feel comfortable serving it to his parents who are in their 60s after it's been left out overnight in the middle of August

He cancelled the dinner plans, and told his mum it was because we'd had an argument (which we had, I guess, but now I feel really humiliated and almost ashamed that their evening was spoiled because of us).

So... who is BU?

out at 10pm so in fridge in am- presumably you are awake by 7/8am if not sooner. only if it was fish I wouldn't serve it.

I'd have eaten it no bother, but not sure I'd serve it to others.

When we were kids mum used to make a massive pot of Irish stew and it sat on the hob day and night!

This. The idea that these days pork is more risky than other meats needs to be well and truly busted.

Why did you marry each other, OP? This isn't the way a happy relationship works.

I think it depends on the temperature of your kitchen. Also whether you are reheating it or serving cold.

I couldn't find a whining, nitpicking, petulant man attractive. At all.

Nope. If you put hot food in the fridge you will lower the temperature. Harmful bacteria grow at between 5 and 57 degrees C. Placing large batches of hot foods in the fridge can push the temperature of the fridge down and affect everything stored in it.

There is no way something taken out of a hot oven would be cool enough to put in the fridge in two hours. Possibly the outside of it would be but there would still be residual heat in the centre. Much better to leave it overnight and chill it in the morning.

You were both being unreasonable and petty to cancel the meal - even if you were reluctant to serve the food to guests (and as a woman in her sixties I take exception to the implication that my immune system is so weak I would be in extra danger!). It would have been the work of moments for him to pick up a rotisserie chicken/ham/salad etc and serve a cold meal. Or BBQ sausages. Or get a takeaway.

it all sounds unnecessarily dramatic.

I think the dinner was ruined, but you could have bought take out rather than cancelled.

Never, ever on Mumsnet !!

It is not safe, according to https://ask.usda.gov/s/article/Is-food-safe-if-left-out-overnight
It's a USA site so temperatures are in F no C, but basically at current room temperature it's 2 hours.
If he wss so sure it would be safe, he should hVe researched it.
Cancelling is waaay otp, he is being a child, just get a ready meal somewhere and apologise to you!

I thought that too, food should be below a certain temperature before being refrigerated otherwise it's more dangerous than leaving it out.

I find it amusing that people who are advocating that the dish shouldn’t have been left out overnight, are saying it would have been fine to put it into the fridge while still hot.

So it should have gone in the fridge c. midnight and you are (presumably?) up for work by 7ish, so 7 hours out, during the night when it's cooler, and for some of that period the food would have still been warm anyway, whether in the fridge or not? That's a lot of fuss over nothing.

His harping isn't though.

Yep, this.

If you keep it hot, that's ok. Allowing it to cool is the problem.
I also think that many years ago, many more people got food poisoning than now (and possibly even had a much better built body resistance against them that we do nowadays)

I’d be concerned if flies had been allowed to land on it, but if it were fully covered then as long as it was reheated a high temperature for 40 minutes, any bacteria would be killed off.
His parents are mid sixties, not mid eighties!!

How stupid was he not to put it in the fridge?

My grandma had a "meat safe" from the days before fridges. She continued to use it until she passed (not from food poisoning!). It was a little wooden cupboard with a fly wire door. Not for raw meats, but cooked stuff like stews. It was in a cooler part of her house, not next to the Aga at least.

Your as bad as each other.

I’d love to know how foil on top of a dish prevents bacteria from growing.

I don't think it's you who should be embarrassed...

I wouldn't have given it a second thought. Food left out covered will be perfectly fine, plus it wouldn't have been cooled enough to go in the fridge the night before.

I doubt the OP's kitchen is in a cooler part of the house

Binning? Why does it need binning?

Pork? In August?