Huge row with DH over food safety - who is BU?

[namechange294824]

NC'ed on the off chance this is outing!

DH and I are both 34. We've been in the process of moving house over the past 2 months, and are finally in a position to have guests in the house (i.e. we have a dining table and chairs). Moving hasn't been without its challenges and there have been some really stressful bits, but on the whole it's been fairly straightforward, and we don't have kids.

Invited DH's parents (mid/late 60s) to dinner on Tuesday night. I offered to cook. I prepared a starter, a main, and a dessert on Monday night, ready to go in the fridge for ease of serving quickly on Tuesday (I was going to be getting in from work only 20 mins or so before they arrived so it made sense to pre-prepare.) I spent 3.5 hours cooking/baking on Monday, which wiped out my entire post-work evening. No drama; I'd offered to do it, and I enjoy cooking.

But throughout this 3.5 hours DH could not help himself from repeatedly putting his head round the door and being critical - why hadn't I done X? Was I going to bother putting Y in the bin or is it going to be left on the side forever? So on, so forth. I asked him to stop, and he didn't. He probably whinged at me 5 times about separate trivial things whilst I was cooking.

The main dish needed a long while in the oven. It was 9.15pm at this point and he had totally exhausted me with his bitching and griping. I told him I just wanted to shower and go to bed and asked him to take the food out of the oven once the timer went off, which would have been at 10pm.

He did that. But he then failed to put it in the fridge, leaving it out overnight on the countertop. He was watching telly until about midnight, well after the point it would have cooled enough to go in the fridge.

I was so furious in the morning that after a night of whinging and sniping at me he'd not even had the thought to properly put away the food I'd spent so long cooking.

His position: the food's fine, it had foil on it anyway, just crack on and serve it tonight

My position: it's a meat dish (with pork in) and I don't feel comfortable serving it to his parents who are in their 60s after it's been left out overnight in the middle of August

He cancelled the dinner plans, and told his mum it was because we'd had an argument (which we had, I guess, but now I feel really humiliated and almost ashamed that their evening was spoiled because of us).

So... who is BU?

Like others have said, I wouldn’t have thought it would be cool enough to refrigerate that soon after cooking. It would raise the temperature of the inside of your fridge. I would have thought refrigerating it in the morning would be fine. Many times I’ve made stuff like chilli or bolognese sauce or even soup during the day and forgot to refrigerate what was in the pot at the end of the day and I’ve never had any issues. Just make sure to reheat thoroughly. As long as good hygiene was used while cooking and the meat itself was fresh/ not off and it was kept covered then I’m sure it would have been fine. Your kitchen can’t have been that warm surely unless the heating was on overnight?
Your OH was a total prat while you were cooking. However I do think you needed to make it explicit that he needed to put it in the fridge if that was what you wanted although I’m not convinced it was needed.

I'd definitely still eat it, but I seem to have a stomach of steel
Each to their own.

The bigger issue here is your husband. Why is he criticising you when he was too lazy to cook for his own parents? Sounds like he left the food out to be spiteful too

Sorry what ? You're saying a grown ass man needs to be told to put food in the fridge are you being serious ?

I would of stopped cooking when he started with the comments and told him to cook the fkers himself I'd also tell his parents exactly why plans were cancelled and that's because their son is a massive twat

As long as you heat up the dish so that the core temperature holds for 2 minutes minimum at 74 degrees centigrade, all potentially harmful bacteria should be killed.