Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

Far too sensible and no drama

They are paying for their room. They don't need her consent. The only doubtful thing is if she's contributed to the cabin.

You made it personal by adding what you'd think if it happened to you. I was responding to that.

Exactly!

I’ve already said OP cannot possibly kick nephew out as that would be very unfair bur I also understand why she can’t book another room. If only suites are available now, they are extremely expensive. We cruise every year, have very good salaries and we couldn’t afford to just whack a suite onto our booking. I don’t know which company or how long the holiday, but it’ll have to be school holidays so for a 7 day cruise I’d be amazed if a suite was very much under £5k and for a longer cruise/nicer ship it is probably closer to £10k.

it’s fair enough if she simply can’t afford that. Most people can’t. She needs to rearrange the holiday.

You have to either book another room now or you will need to stay home with baby and allow your husband and children to go. You can not take someone else’s holiday because they didn’t pay for it. It’s unfair on your nephew and your parents. You are putting everyone in a very difficult position if you ask this of them.

It seems your only alternative option, then, is to rearrange.

You can't really kick someone off a holiday to make room for a baby who isn't born yet, just so that you can keep your plans the same. It's completely unfair. However, when this is pointed out, you repeat "it's the only way". If it's "the only way", you'll have to do it then, won't you?! But you should know that you really ought to rearrange instead.

I don't understand why the baby can't just come with? Why does the baby need an extra space - or is that how cruising works? Maybe phone the cruise company?

If you stick to this plan OP, as you seem to want to, even though there is another way but it will cost you, who is going to tell your DB and DN? Please do not make your poor Mum do it, if this is how you want it to happen you will need to be the messenger as it's your need/want creating this situation. Please don't leave it to your Mum to deal with.

I agree that you can't kick your nephew off. It's awful and annoying but yes you need to rearrange and potentially lose the money spent. It's just holiday money at the end of the day.

I'm on a cruise right now. There are a few babies here and they seem to be having a good time. Pools, air con and the crew making a fuss of them. The parents seem pretty chill too.

@familydrama1 - did you originally say yes to your nephew taking the "spare" place (before you knew you were pregnant)? I think it's harder to take back a yes than it is to say "i'm afraid it needs to change, and I never said yes to nephew coming".

But it’s odd you keep talking about op’s “consent” - as if she’s Master of the Universe.

did you originally say yes to your nephew taking the "spare" place (before you knew you were pregnant)?

But it was never up to her. Her parents booked and paid for that cabin. They could invite whoever they wanted to share it with them. Unless the agreement before booking was that op would pay half and be able to dictate who occupied the other two places in the cabin.

The OP has made it clear in at least two posts yesterday (eg 21:52 and 22:49) that her parents invited the nephew without asking her or discussing it with her
But she also says her parents booked (and presumably paid for) their own room, so why op feels she is Queen of the Cruise ship who should have been consulted on what the other paying guests are doing is beyond me.
None of her beeswax who her parents invite.

Queen of the Cruise ! 😂😂😂. Love it

I'm finding it hard to believe there are no other cabins left for what I am assuming is summer next year. We have only just started looking for next summer and havent found any ship we have looked at to be limited on cabin spaces. For this summer we didnt book until December and still got our choice of cabin grade, location and experience.

The OP has just found out she is pregnant with a baby who will be 6 months old on the cruise - so the cruise will be some time in Aug / Sep / Oct / Nov 2025? And it's sold out already?

Doubt it.

X-post!

Haha great minds!

And so they might. They could have asked their gardener or Aggie with BO from bingo if they wanted. And did OP get the nephew’s “consent” to conceive? They are family members going on a holiday, not paid up members of some weird dictatorial cult. Sincerely hope my Dc don’t grow up to dictate ( or try to dictate) I can have their Dc in my cabin but not my other grandchild.

I think I say consent because I wouldn't dream of bringing anyone to an event/holiday that I have been invited on, without checking with the person that invited me. Her parents have been invited and then bought someone else (even if it is family).

For those of you who genuinely don't mind additional people coming to holidays/ events - where do you say 'enough'? I think it changes dynamics and hate it. Would it have been ok for her parents to invite her brother, all his kids and maybe other family? The poor in-laws who made the original invite would maybe feel pushed out. I can imagine the AIBU from them I'm not asking this as an arsey question, just genuinely interested.

Sorry I forgot to add @Calliopespa

I don’t think you can really call it an invitation when the parents booked and paid for themselves, though?
It’s open to all and any paying customers, it’s not a private member’s club.

Would it have been ok for her parents to invite her brother, all his kids and maybe other family?
Yes, of course it would.
Op having booked a place doesn’t preclude anyone else booking one as well.
Maybe next time op “invites” people on holiday she should make sure it’s on her dime, if she wants full control of the ship’s manifest.

Well I certainly wouldn’t draw the line at a grandchild. I really can’t imagine telling my parents they couldn’t bring a grandchild to share their cabin if they were paying their own way and paying for the grandchild.

I would draw the line if it wasn’t family, di gif instance if a friend had organised it, I wouldn’t bring my nephew. Or maybe if it was family and I was paying - say, I had rented a villa and was inviting them to just show up as guests. But I think with a group endeavour you can’t dictate.

But even then, that point has passed now and he HAS been invited, which changes things still further. You can’t just move him in, out and roundabout like a chess piece or a bit of furniture than no longer fits comfortably in the room.

Incredible OP has sustained the post this long.