Page 13 | Family holiday drama

familydrama1 · 2024-08-21T20:36:59+00:00

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place. I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born. AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣 Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

peacocksuite · 22/08/2024 05:33

OP wants to boot the nephew out so she doesn't have to pay for another room, presumably

Borninabarn32 · 22/08/2024 05:36

I don't understand why people keep saying to book another room when you've said its fully booked. There are no additional rooms available.

I find it insane that cruises don't just add a cot to full room. So a bed has to be empty to have a baby in the room? Bonkers. But if that's the case then there's nothing you can do. Either someone gives up a spot for your baby or you can't go. DN is the easy choice because you didn't invite him and he hasn't paid towards it, but that's up to your parents to decide. It could end up with your parents and your in laws all going on holiday together with your nephew when they were all only going becuase you were going.

I do think that you should paying towards your parents room though if you're using part of it.

MillyMollyMandHey · 22/08/2024 05:40

Borninabarn32 · 22/08/2024 05:36

I don't understand why people keep saying to book another room when you've said its fully booked. There are no additional rooms available.

I find it insane that cruises don't just add a cot to full room. So a bed has to be empty to have a baby in the room? Bonkers. But if that's the case then there's nothing you can do. Either someone gives up a spot for your baby or you can't go. DN is the easy choice because you didn't invite him and he hasn't paid towards it, but that's up to your parents to decide. It could end up with your parents and your in laws all going on holiday together with your nephew when they were all only going becuase you were going.

I do think that you should paying towards your parents room though if you're using part of it.

Edited

That’s not what they’ve said. All their families existing booked rooms are full. The cruise will be full by the time the baby is both (4/6 months before the cruise, depending on which post you read)

The operator has told them to book another room, which would need at least one adult in, which OP doesn’t want to do due to cost, so is pretending not to read the multiple posts advising her to move an existing adult into the new room.

Allie47 · 22/08/2024 05:57

familydrama1 · 21/08/2024 21:52

No one asked if he could come, and my parents paid for him. My daughter is in the room with my parents too and we paid for her. They are all sharing a room together

You didn't book or pay for your nephews place so you have no right to cancel it. The fact you booked a holiday you may have to pull out of is your own fault 🤷‍♀️

Colonicq · 22/08/2024 06:05

PurpleFlower1983 · 21/08/2024 23:07

Just book another cabin for your husband as you originally planned. Obviously not ideal to have to separate but needs must.

Yes this is the right thing to do. But all of OP’s updates suggest she has no intention of doing anything but booting the nephew off the holiday and wants someone to come on and agree with her about it.

ThatFlightyTemptress · 22/08/2024 06:08

pearldiamond · 21/08/2024 22:08

Are you having twins OP? Otherwise, why are you referring to the baby as 'they' ?

Oh dear. Someone didn’t pass their English Language at school.

Threewheeler1 · 22/08/2024 06:11

Many pages in...

user1492757084 · 22/08/2024 06:16

Can you..
book an extra room for nephew on his own?
book another room for you and one of your children - leaving husband and one child and spare place in your old room?
The extra cost could be paid for by all three of you sharing a third each - your parents, you and your brother.

Bournetilly · 22/08/2024 06:25

You can’t just cancel the booking for your nephew because you want the space for your baby. Absolutely ridiculous.

Pay for another room for your DH, add the baby once they are born. It’s not hard.

Sunshineclouds11 · 22/08/2024 06:25

I don't understand why the cruise company won't let you book another room?
Can't you just do it online?

Needmoresleep89 · 22/08/2024 06:27

Surely you can’t just pass off a younger baby as an older one on a cruise ship as pp are suggesting op may do? Do you not have to have a passport for a baby on a cruise ship?

Bournetilly · 22/08/2024 06:28

Borninabarn32 · 22/08/2024 05:36

I don't understand why people keep saying to book another room when you've said its fully booked. There are no additional rooms available.

I find it insane that cruises don't just add a cot to full room. So a bed has to be empty to have a baby in the room? Bonkers. But if that's the case then there's nothing you can do. Either someone gives up a spot for your baby or you can't go. DN is the easy choice because you didn't invite him and he hasn't paid towards it, but that's up to your parents to decide. It could end up with your parents and your in laws all going on holiday together with your nephew when they were all only going becuase you were going.

I do think that you should paying towards your parents room though if you're using part of it.

Edited

It’s not fully booked, OP said it is almost at full capacity (there are some rooms left). They said by the time baby is born (6 months before the cruise) it will be fully booked. So they need to book a room now, which they could book for OPs DH and then add the baby on.

blackfushia · 22/08/2024 06:28

I’m confused by OP. She says she’s recently found out she is pregnant, that the cruise is next year in the school holidays. First of all she says the baby will be four months old, which makes sense, but now she is saying it will be six months (which I think rules out an October half term trip) after people pointed out you can’t take a four month old on a cruise. I suspect she and the baby won’t be going on the cruise and there will be plenty of space for the nephew.

Witchbitch20 · 22/08/2024 06:31

Only on Mumsnet…

Not sure why the simplest solution isn’t that you cancel your part of the booking as the holiday doesn’t meet your part of the group’s needs. Everyone else has a bed/room so they can all go and have a lovely time.

Always amazes me on threads like these when people are booking holidays in big family groups when clearly they don’t like each other or there’s some seething resentment boiling.

Or book another room.

sangriaandsunshineplease · 22/08/2024 06:35

I don't see the problem here.
When you booked the cruise, you meant it to just be your "little family" so, as you have three children, that would have meant you and your DH being in separate cabins, one of you with one of your DC and the other of you with two of your DC.
Your parents offered to have one of your DC in their room so you just booked the one cabin
Now you're having a baby so the current plan doesn't work.
But what will work is going back to the originall plan of you £ your DH having separate cabins except that this time you will have each have two of your own DC in your room.

WatermelonRed · 22/08/2024 06:35

I’d query why you can’t add a baby to a booking before they’re born as we have before. They took their name as Infant Surname with dob as due date and update details when born.

Also ships have limits of how many children of certain ages can be booked. So it may be that they are at capacity for infants but not someone your nephews age and they wouldn’t be able to be swapped. Which is another reason why I’d call back and question why you can’t add your baby now to guarantee their place.

ReluctantSwimMum · 22/08/2024 06:39

Sounds cheaper and less hassle to just cancel now. Cut your losses.

lololulu · 22/08/2024 06:46

You are wanting your parents to have your daughter AND baby (plus nephew) by the sounds of it.

Why is your room so full? Why can't your kids stare with you?

lololulu · 22/08/2024 06:48

Sorry I see you've answered this already.

Can your husband stay with your 2 kids and you go in another room with the baby?

Zanatdy · 22/08/2024 06:55

If this is going to be very costly then I think you’ve got to suck it up and book another room, just add your DH and one child to it, then add baby when it’s born. That’s fairer than having a young child in with your parents every night anyway. I’m sorry but your parents have paid for their room and invited their grandson, you can’t bump him off as you’re now pregnant with baby no 4. Yes it will cause a big family row, and I can imagine most people would be quite angry a young child has had their holiday cancelled as someone’s having another baby and doesn’t want to pay for another room.

Having a large family means expensive holiday costs. I do think the parents coming was a good idea for you so they could pay for their own room and you could add one of your children there instead of paying for another room. Sorry but you’re the one changing the goal posts so you should incur the extra cost, and not disappoint a child. Your children don’t have any more right to sharing their grandparents room than your nephew

Itisjustmyopinion · 22/08/2024 06:56

Why can’t your DD go in a room with one of your husbands family, nephew with your mum and baby with you?

Your posts are quite hard to follow OP so I am assuming that your husbands family are on the cruise too from what you have said?

Zanatdy · 22/08/2024 07:03

lololulu · 22/08/2024 06:46

You are wanting your parents to have your daughter AND baby (plus nephew) by the sounds of it.

Why is your room so full? Why can't your kids stare with you?

No minus nephew, he needs to be bumped off so baby can be added to that room. That’s the whole issue

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 22/08/2024 07:10

familydrama1 · 21/08/2024 21:58

I have spoken to the cruise line they said we CANNOT add the baby. If we booked another room. We would need another adult - which we don't have.

I do not want to take my nephew off. I booked it for my parents, why would I want to be spiteful.

My room has my other 2 children and husband in there. All other rooms are full. This is the only way. It's not out of spite. We will lose thousands of pounds

You have spare adults, you only need 1 per room, you have 6 adults and need 4 rooms. Just because you don't want to do this doesn't justify what you're trying to do to your nephew. If you were planning to book two rooms before your parents decided to join you what is the problem with now booking 2 rooms for your family?

Your parents have paid for DN place, so you'd be taking this money allocated to DN holiday and reallocating it to your child. Of course I'd be pissed off in your DBs shoes and you're the one being a CF here not him. If your parents were worried about his reaction they'd not have said yes to you turfing DN out. Given what you think is OK for you to do here I'd love to hear DB side of the story and I seriously doubt he's the unreasonable one out of your parents children.

Eta: spacing

hattimehead · 22/08/2024 07:10

Change the cruise OP. They will let you do that. Get one that accommodates you all. If as someone above suggests you are potentially going to try and get your 4 month old on as a 6 month old, don’t. You’ll be caught and off loaded. The cruise lines are strict. It’s not like checking into a hotel or travelodge.

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/08/2024 07:11

HMW1906 · 21/08/2024 23:17

Agree with the above. I used to work as a nurse on a cruise ship. They do not carry medical equipment for babies younger than 6 months old! It would be dangerous and reckless for you to lie about your child’s age and could potentially cost them their life if they were to become unwell.

Show quote history

How could she lie when baby needs a passport?