Leaving baby with stranger

[sunshine240778474]

I took my 8 month old baby to her first swimming lesson today. Once we were out dried and dressed. I was bursting for a pee. None of the toilets had an area for me to put my baby down while I went to the toilet. I didn't have a pram with me.

An older lady who was at the swimming pool watching her grandchildren swim said she would hold her while I went to the toilet. I was a bit hesitant at first but then agreed because she looked nice.

Everything was fine.

Afterwards I felt terrible and so guilty that I left her with a stranger because she 'looked nice'

Was it wrong of me to leave her?
When I told my partner he made me feel worse.
Now I feel like a terrible mother.

This is what I have done in this situation. This woman could have dropped the baby or anything else go wrong because she had other kids to see to, then it would only be yourself to blame if something went wrong.

This woman could have dropped the baby

You're the second poster (at least) who's come up with that scenario. In what world do people regularly drop babies? Especially people, who've brought up their own children and are trusted to look after their grandchildren.

The level of catastrophising on this thread is ridiculous.

Hmm. Risk to baby of being dropped by experienced granny while holding baby for a few minutes: infinitesimal. Risk to baby of injury whilst travelling in parent's car or crossing the road in a buggy: quite significantly higher. Yet none of us would think for a moment about taking those greater risks.

My point exactly.

Same here.

But those things are pretty necessary for life. Leaving your baby with a stranger isn't necessary, just take them with you!

Your husband made you feel worse! What would he have done. You made a decision based on reason and instinct. It was the right one.

I wouldn’t personally have left my baby with a stranger, however nice they looked(!) but equally I definitely don’t think your judgement in this situation makes you a terrible mother

This is what I’ve done so many times I’ve lost count!

What does your partner propose he would have done in the same situation? Piss himself? 🤦🏼‍♀️ you did the right thing

I'm a frequent baby watcher. My son is bigger now buy I still remember what it's like to really need the loo and have no-one to leave the baby with. I wouldn't leave my baby on the floor of a toilet full of other people's feet you did the right thing.

Stop worrying! When did we all get so suspicious that something so obviously safe and innocent and charming becomes a cause for anxiety?

In my gym there are wooden baby playpens. I've put the baby in there and run to the loo - asking someone to keep an eye out.

Me going to the loo is going to be quicker than them getting dried and dressed and ready to abduct my baby. It's a 30 second pee, which I'm going to assume is in the same vicinity of where your baby is.

A Grandma - even if she was dressed, had grandchildren in wet swimsuits? So she'd have had to get them both dried and dressed and out the door ready to steal the baby. That can't all happen in the time it takes to have a wee.

You're fine. Not a bad Mum at all!

Also I've been asked to watch a baby in the playpen by a mother in the same scenario while I've been stood in the changing room in a wet swimsuit with my DC. I've barely had time to get our towels out the locker before the parent has come back.

You're fine.

I would be more likely to drop my child in that scenario!

OP life is full of risks this one was on about a scale of one out of a 10,000.

Definitely not wrong. There’s a reason they say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’! In your life you are good at assessing risk, you are making calculations all the time. You correctly judged this lady to be safe. Your husband needs to unclench.

I watched two children this week in a changing room in a shop. Their mum was trying to cram them into the cubicle with her and I was waiting anyway for dd to try on countless pairs of jeans so I offered to keep an eye on them.

She sounded totally panicked when she was in there. She was probably thinking the same as you but I definitely didn't want to steal two toddlers. I've got enough problems.

I could do the one handed toilet thing with a newborn and wearing PJs. Bigger baby and jeans forget it.

Well aren’t you superwoman

That's nothing.

I lock my kids in a dark cellar to make sure that they never have any interaction with other humans and will never be in danger from anyone ever.

They certainly wouldn't be going swimming. You sound reckless.

It's sad times when we're super anxious about something normal. You did the right thing asking for help and I'd encourage you to do it again.

Mass media has led people to believe that there are many people out there who would want to harm babies and children. There are not. Especially a woman in a public changing room.

I am a grandma and I would happily hold your baby while you pee . I have no intention of walking off with your baby I have enough with my grandchildren to look after . Grandmas are always a safe bet

Partner needs to come swimming with you. We always went together. Dad would sort out wet child while I got dressed in peace. Was much quicker. He can take baby swimming alone if he’s an expert

I've done that before for someone going to the toilet
Nobody trusts me because I don't have DC but I'm perfectly capable with them and I don't want DC so I'm not stealing them you can have them back happily

Get your husband to put on your swimming costume and see if he can go to the loo without putting the baby on the floor.