Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children on my front wall

135 replies

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:22

I have a small wall (2 feet high maybe) at the front edge of my garden. The garden itself is small anyway - three big slabs width from the porch/front door (with a set back area under the front window, and a gated path down the side of the house to the back). There is also a low gate that I had put on as the fact that the path slopes slightly and there is no barrier between my neighbours, meant that it was sometimes used for scooters. [I do feel a diagram might help...]

It has only been in this last year that I have done much to the front - as it is south facing and almost any plants will certainly die. But I now have some hardy-ish ones in planters, a wreath on the side gate and a pear tree and honeysuckle trying their best on the side wall and high fence to the other side.

This last year, a new neighbour's daughter decided that the wall is perfect to walk along and jump off (I think she is 10). As my car is on the road outside, I would quite often see her do this. Despite having been friendly towards them, she often walks past and, without her mother seeing, and without looking back, gives me the finger gesture. I added some plants on the inside of the wall at two spots, making it pointless to walk along the full length of the wall, but she still did it, stepping on the leaves of the plants.

Tonight, I could hear loud voices right outside, and when I looked, a group of (definitely pre-teen) girls were on the wall, all facing my house, dancing and jumping around. There was definitely a goading feel to it - but I only (I think) know them by sight. By the time I had got myself together to go and speak to them, they had gone.

A little while later, I had gone out to my car, and two of them (plus a little boy, I think a brother) came back, not seeing me at first and climbing straight onto the wall. So, in the conversation we had, it seems that I have to let them do it as they "are kids", they want to learn to balance, I am unfair and spoiling their lives and basically what do I know, they can do what they want... oh, and I'm a Karen.

So, apart from this moan, I am at a loss. The wall covers the length front of both my house and next door and so at my side, there are the plants in pots at either "end", and usually a bowl of water for dogs on the pavement side. But nothing for the half of the length outside next door.

My pathetic passive-aggressive attempts to prevent it are obviously not enough to stop them - and I fully expect to be ramped up now - or worse (I live in/close to a not-so-great area - and have been burgled and bullied and targeted in the past); sadly, the behaviour even at the start seemed very "goady" anyway, so I don't doubt I have already done something to warrant it.

Oh, what to do?
And I don't really think IABU but maybe I should let them just carry on.... (which I don't want to do)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
nocoolnamesleft · 20/08/2024 23:24

Hmmm. You want some hardy really fast growing very spiky plants. Are you fond of blackberries?

HelloMiss · 20/08/2024 23:24

Loudish opera music.....or Barry manilow

They will be so disgusted they will move on

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 20/08/2024 23:26

Motion sensor sprinkler?

FuckThePoPo · 20/08/2024 23:27

'oi! Off my wall!'

CosmicDaisyChain · 20/08/2024 23:27

Sprinkler or prickly plants.

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:28

nocoolnamesleft · 20/08/2024 23:24

Hmmm. You want some hardy really fast growing very spiky plants. Are you fond of blackberries?

I have them at the back! 12 feet tall, and FULL of berries.
The only thing that protects me from the worst of this area (banger cars, fires, floodlights, scooters, motorbikes, drug deals ---- you name it...)
But a good suggestion, although the sun would kill them.
I have no soil out the front, so things have to grow in planters; they don't really stand much chance with the sun as well.

OP posts:
Salumthecat · 20/08/2024 23:28

Can you put something sticky on the wall?

I don’t think talking to them will help - or their parents by the sound of it. You need some sort of deterrent.

Could you try anti climb paint or try spiked wall toppings?
I know they are kids but they are doing it to goad you and I wouldn’t be happy about it either. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of people who disagree and say it’s not harming anyone but that’s not the point. If you let them climb on the wall then what will they decide to climb on next?!

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:30

HelloMiss · 20/08/2024 23:24

Loudish opera music.....or Barry manilow

They will be so disgusted they will move on

It would be in competition with the - er - music from the other side, and there are two of them at it!
I did find out a bagpipes CD the other week (I do NOT know why I have it).
But I don't have any Barry Manilow.

OP posts:
Myfavouriteflowers · 20/08/2024 23:30

Could you have metal railings installed along the top of the wall? It would be a bit expensive but would be effective in stopping them walking on the wall and would give some privacy without blocking your view out to the road totally.

sarahzbaker · 20/08/2024 23:30

Actually/ go and say Hi. What gwan?
They will probably be horrified

Oftenaddled · 20/08/2024 23:32

I would probably (at this stage) wait until school term begins again and see if the problem dissipates then. While very obviously not caring what they get up to.

SalviaDivinorum · 20/08/2024 23:32

Berberis is pretty tolerant of full sun and is good and prickly

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:36

@Salumthecat Yes, I feel sure that some will say I should just let them - but I could already see that they were astride the wall, which mean effectively in my garden, which has a gate... meaning it's not their play area.

I don't think they expected me to speak to them, and I knew it would do no good, or even more harm than good, time will tell...

I don't know quite why they wanted to goad me (my neighbour does cause issues, and I expect it's somehow linked to that, or they think they can just be rude and insolent to anybody. I am sad, as I always used to have little fan clubs (in the horsey world) - which I didn't even always want. I asked the mouthiest one how old she was as she was tall (I guessed 10), and she was very prickly about me asking ("Why do you want to know???")*, and I asked the little boy if he wasn't cold as he had no shirt on (the road is a wind tunnel) and got the side-eye from her for that - and I could see this kind of exchange going all sorts of wrong nowadays.

*I was just trying to remember how my own daughter was when she was 10....

OP posts:
LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:40

Myfavouriteflowers · 20/08/2024 23:30

Could you have metal railings installed along the top of the wall? It would be a bit expensive but would be effective in stopping them walking on the wall and would give some privacy without blocking your view out to the road totally.

This is what I have been leaning toward but put off doing; sometimes I have liked to sit on the wall myself and chat with neighbours.... my plant installations have not blocked it altogether.

A guy who makes trellises and planters and does reclamation in small way in the next village had some in his yard a couple of months ago, and said he could fit them. But I wanted to not barricade myself in - now it's seeming that - as much as that will probably make matters worse - that's the only option.

OP posts:
DifficultBloodyWoman · 20/08/2024 23:40
  1. paint the wall in anti vandal paint. It is both sticky and slippery and should be a good deterrent
  2. plant something prickly - holly, Berberis or blackberry cuttings
  3. automated sprinklers. They get too close, they get wet. shame.
  4. run out with a big smile and be super friendly. Do you know the brat’s name? Use her name, especially in front of her friends. Ask her to introduce you to her friends. Chat about their day and ask what they did at school. Under no circumstances tell them off. I reckon you only need to do that twice and they’ll avoid you like the plague.
LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:44

DifficultBloodyWoman · 20/08/2024 23:40

  1. paint the wall in anti vandal paint. It is both sticky and slippery and should be a good deterrent
  2. plant something prickly - holly, Berberis or blackberry cuttings
  3. automated sprinklers. They get too close, they get wet. shame.
  4. run out with a big smile and be super friendly. Do you know the brat’s name? Use her name, especially in front of her friends. Ask her to introduce you to her friends. Chat about their day and ask what they did at school. Under no circumstances tell them off. I reckon you only need to do that twice and they’ll avoid you like the plague.
Edited

All great ideas.
I know my face doesn't fit, and I'm not related to anyone around here; being nice would to them, be classed as creepy.
It didn't work with the girl next door but one, and I can hardy be bothered to even be fake-nice these days. Or even manage it, truth me told.

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 20/08/2024 23:51

I would see about adding a low fence on the top of the wall. I'm afraid a low wall will always attract children sitting and balancing even if you manage to stop this lot.

Myfavouriteflowers · 20/08/2024 23:52

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:44

All great ideas.
I know my face doesn't fit, and I'm not related to anyone around here; being nice would to them, be classed as creepy.
It didn't work with the girl next door but one, and I can hardy be bothered to even be fake-nice these days. Or even manage it, truth me told.

Edited

I have trouble with the local children too , also because my face doesn't fit and I'm an incomer.

I'm a very keen gardener - unlike a lot of people nearby- and so I'm regarded as odd . I, and my garden, get targeted .

So I really sympathise with the problem you are having.

LighthouseTheme · 20/08/2024 23:56

Doingmybest12 · 20/08/2024 23:51

I would see about adding a low fence on the top of the wall. I'm afraid a low wall will always attract children sitting and balancing even if you manage to stop this lot.

Oh I know - but it's just high enough that if they fall, they could hurt themselves (oh. dear.), and I do not want that responsibility , apart from anything else.
Heck, I tore an ankle ligament falling off my platform shoes!

But really, I don't like it as a gathering spot, without the goading and rudeness.

OP posts:
Oftenaddled · 21/08/2024 00:02

We were, I think, relatively nice children - definitely wouldn't be rude. But when I played out, sprinklers would have added to the fun.

Anti vandal paint would obviously be targeted at them on a wall what low, and would alienate their parents.

I would de-escalate.

LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 00:04

@Myfavouriteflowers Aw, you have my sympathies too. It's not nice at all, is it?

It really did used to be the opposite - but I bet it happens less these days - that I had little groups of followers who thought i was the Bees Knees.
Now, they just seem to - by and large, where I am - be so aggressively full of themselves, with no respect and a cheekiness and sense of entitlement that is to me unthinkable.
The girl told me to stop talking over her and did not like it when I told her instead to stop interrupting me. But in the end, I just said, I don't even want to be talking to you at all. That was what resulted in the Karen remark, used in the wrong context but no use in pointing that out.
God, I feel sorry for them (their parents, less so), so unpleasant as such a young age.

OP posts:
HolibobsMum · 21/08/2024 00:07

Does it matter if they walk on the wall?

LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 00:10

@Oftenaddled
Well the sprinkler isn't going to happen; no outside tap, and a waste of water.
As I climb over the wall sometimes myself, the anti-vandal paint would not work either.
Another large plant in a pot has gone out there tonight.
But what - other than rolling over and playing dead - do you think might work in terms of de-escalating (i don't know who their parents are anyway, and wouldn't take it to them at this stage/ever)?
For my own mental health - this needs to not get worse.
(It is a case of Last Straw at the moment.)

I only ever had my own one daughter - who was a bit shy anyway, and by age 10 (as was I at the same age) was with ponies every day; never really did the playing "out" thing (wrongly or rightly).

OP posts:
LighthouseTheme · 21/08/2024 00:12

HolibobsMum · 21/08/2024 00:07

Does it matter if they walk on the wall?

Walking on the wall, because they simply must or can't help themselves, it's so tempting - maybe not.....
But what they were doing was much more than that.
And that does matter, yes.

OP posts:
TransformerZ · 21/08/2024 00:14

Put those railing things on the wall.

Tell the nasty little 💩mum what she's up to, swearing etc.

Sounds like you love in a rough neighbourhood.
Get cameras.