Children on my front wall

[LighthouseTheme]

I have a small wall (2 feet high maybe) at the front edge of my garden. The garden itself is small anyway - three big slabs width from the porch/front door (with a set back area under the front window, and a gated path down the side of the house to the back). There is also a low gate that I had put on as the fact that the path slopes slightly and there is no barrier between my neighbours, meant that it was sometimes used for scooters. [I do feel a diagram might help...]

It has only been in this last year that I have done much to the front - as it is south facing and almost any plants will certainly die. But I now have some hardy-ish ones in planters, a wreath on the side gate and a pear tree and honeysuckle trying their best on the side wall and high fence to the other side.

This last year, a new neighbour's daughter decided that the wall is perfect to walk along and jump off (I think she is 10). As my car is on the road outside, I would quite often see her do this. Despite having been friendly towards them, she often walks past and, without her mother seeing, and without looking back, gives me the finger gesture. I added some plants on the inside of the wall at two spots, making it pointless to walk along the full length of the wall, but she still did it, stepping on the leaves of the plants.

Tonight, I could hear loud voices right outside, and when I looked, a group of (definitely pre-teen) girls were on the wall, all facing my house, dancing and jumping around. There was definitely a goading feel to it - but I only (I think) know them by sight. By the time I had got myself together to go and speak to them, they had gone.

A little while later, I had gone out to my car, and two of them (plus a little boy, I think a brother) came back, not seeing me at first and climbing straight onto the wall. So, in the conversation we had, it seems that I have to let them do it as they "are kids", they want to learn to balance, I am unfair and spoiling their lives and basically what do I know, they can do what they want... oh, and I'm a Karen.

So, apart from this moan, I am at a loss. The wall covers the length front of both my house and next door and so at my side, there are the plants in pots at either "end", and usually a bowl of water for dogs on the pavement side. But nothing for the half of the length outside next door.

My pathetic passive-aggressive attempts to prevent it are obviously not enough to stop them - and I fully expect to be ramped up now - or worse (I live in/close to a not-so-great area - and have been burgled and bullied and targeted in the past); sadly, the behaviour even at the start seemed very "goady" anyway, so I don't doubt I have already done something to warrant it.

Oh, what to do?
And I don't really think IABU but maybe I should let them just carry on.... (which I don't want to do)

Also, talk to her parents about it?

Anti climb paint?

Squirt Jeyes fluid along the front of your wall, the stench tens to discourage lurkers. I think the more you actively engage with the kids the more they are going to try to annoy you, given they are actually arguing back with an adult. Lots of kids would be tempted to walk along a wall, didn't we all (though ten is probably a bit on the older side for that temptation) but most decent kids would stay well away after being told to

I think you just need to put the metal railing. It's quite simple to fix on with a drill. Or if you want to do something less dramatic just add metal studs every 50 cm or so.
Engaging with them or their parents won't help. All you can do is deter. I suspect plants won't deter if they are in pots. So railing is the only answer

Get a metal railing and in the meantime go out and have a ‘friendly chat’ with them every time you see them. Ask them about school, ask them if they’d like you to knit them a jumper, tell them about a relative who has rheumy eyes, ask them if they’ve seen X old film, ask them if they like X old singer, etc etc. Be super-nice. They won’t be able to get away from you fast enough!

There was a lady where I lived as a child who would always come out to speak to children playing outside her house. I’m sure she was very nice and probably just a bit lonely, but it made us cringe. As a result we found another place to play further down.

Dont try to scold these children. You’ll be wasting your breath. Deter them with kindness and embarrassment.

Bird food. Sprinkle bird food along the wall. The wood pigeons wil start to hang out there and poop on it.

Pyracantha.

Made for this exact situation! (And birds love it. Win-win)

I think the flowers near your front wall could do with fresh manure compost from your local garden centre. I do my roses once a year. It stinks. I wouldn't sit on a wall next to that. The smell doesn't last long, but long enough to get the children out the habit of sitting there.

This is a good idea. Although I like your boiling oil and drawbridge even more!

Also, I don't know how old you are but I can't hear cat scarers any more. My teens can and they tell me the noise is annoying. You can buy tiny battery operated ones

Import some gympie-gympie and make a nice hedge. They'll only need to be prickled once.

(Obviously I'm not actually advocating for the plant based torture of the little turds but I feel your pain. Metal railing or studs would be the easiest solution I think).

I know its hard but as a couple of previous posters have said ignore and they'll go away.
They're enjoying the reaction

We used to have a low wall with a box hedge growing behind it. We let it grow high for privacy and also trimmed it over the wall so that there was no longer a “shelf”. It stopped people sitting on the wall for a rest although it also provided them with a convenient dumping ground for bottles and cans 🤬. If you get railings I’m afraid the young ‘uns will just lean against them.

I think you should add something possibly not the whole way along so you stilll have a sitting spot. It doesn’t necessarily need to be railings. I live near a village and there are some creative end of gardens. There’s one with slates on their side which reminds me of a dinosaur spine, trellis, railway sleepers again on their side as well as usual hedges / prickly plants.

Would you be liable OP if they fell off….?
I’d go for metal railings or bamboo in pots, it grows like mad.

Get that liquid ass spray and spray it a couple of places along your wall

Another vote for pyracantha- it is your friend for situations like this.
It grows really quickly too.

Smear dog poo all along it.

That should keep them off lol

Thank you for some great suggestions since I last wrote. And for some solidarity!
I do like the look of the fairly shallow railings/toppers, and am off to Wickes today anyway, so shall check some out. I do hope there is an easy way to attach them; drilling for the now removed little wooden planters (brackets) was a bit tough...
I am already considered to be something of a witch, but not in a good way at all. And I don't really know why.
This is a pretty bad area though, and everybody is related.... But I had the same in a quaint horsey village, so I know that a big part of it must be me.

Here though, it is so much more "in your face" and unkind - whereas there, my horse acted like a forcefield, and it didn't bother me [ as much].... And I had, as I said, something of a fan club amongst the children. Well, the horse did. But when I expressed safety concerns over their wishes to ride a 16.2 Thoroughbred, their parents withdrew them. I was actually relieved though. The horse would have been good, but I did not want the responsibility on our shoulders.
(I taught children to ride, in a more formal setting - and that's why this makes me sad.... they used to hang on every word I said back then My view of myself is a bit distorted by that, so this is a reality check I suppose.)

I am so reassured that a few people think that giving the finger is unacceptable, as I have certainly raised my tolerance bar since coming here. I am so out of touch and affected by how things are here, that I "let her" get away with it. She knows I know though, but when I hear her out playing near their apartment, I can sadly see how things are....
Yes, I have had, and expressed concerns over them falling off, and me being blamed - also, that's been my hesitation over harsh spiky plants, and anything that may do harm. So, so far, my approach has been quite - subtle. Which does leave room to ramp it up; which I have only wanted to do since the behaviour has been ramped up.

I am attaching a picture from this morning, so it's possible to see how small a space it is, and how close to the house. That's as much as anything, why it feels so intrusive. If it was a 40 foot garden (like the back), it wouldn't be as bad. But I'm still keeping my brambles, as I predict that's where they'll go today (could be wrong).

Here's the picture. I don't mind that it shows where I live.
Zoom in and in top left, you can see my witch sign (intended ironically when I put it up).

You want the Anti Teen Device 😆 emits a weird sound only kids can hear.

Or speak to a local gardener about planting a dog poo bush. Looks nice but stinks when it's cut 💩

Alternatively make yourself a polite nuisance and go out and make friendly chat Every. Single. Time. so they cross the road to avoid you. Get some nasty high sugar sweets and insist on giving them directly to the toddler so they either get fed up of being the bad guy taking them off them or have a sugar hyped kid.

Are you sure that front garden is all yours? It does look like your wall is out of line with the neighbours boundary and comes out onto the pavement. Might just be me though.

Could you bring out a chair and sit out the front? You’d simply be enjoying your garden, but would put them off lurking

An ultra sonic repeller (Aka mosquito) on loudspeaker loop should do the trick: the sound is inaudible to adults.

I think until you can find a better longer term solution that putting Jeyes fluid along the wall is a great idea, sorry I can't find the poster who said that. Hopefully as others have suggested once they are back in school they will be less of a nuisance.

Metal railing on top of the wall is the only solution. Anything else will just encourage them. When I was a kid we loved setting off sprinklers on purpose and getting squirted. We loved to do stuff outside the “crazy lady’s” house and when she came out we’d run away giggling. You need to make it not fun for them.