Kirstie Allsop's 15 Year Old Son

[ImAFemaleVersionOfRoyKeane]

Kirstie Allsop has just posted on X (Twitter) that her 15 year old son has just returned from inter-railing around Europe.

He was accompanied by his 16 year old friend.

AIBU to think this is too young?

These situations may seem OK but at that age they think they are invincible, so they can be impulsive and not make the best decisions, especially when something goes wrong!

He has a dad, too, presumably? But you only name her.

They know their son, you don’t.

As far as anyone knows she is a good parent. I am sure she is! I waited until my dc were over 18 before travelling solo, but that’s a question of judgement not neglect.

But I think it’s unfair that SS are getting blamed here. Nobody seems to acknowledge they have to treat every complaint seriously and assess it on its individual merits.

Surely no one would have known about the trip except her inner circle if she hadn’t posted about it publically?

Are you saying the complaint was entirely separate to the recent press stories and sm discussion about his trip? That the two things were coincidental?

Sorry : edited my post because it came across a bit too strong! Didn’t mean it in a snippy way.

I travelled around Europe with a friend when I was 14/15, before any of us had mobiles. We planned rail station collections in advance, had cash on us. We had a few dodgy encounters in Paris, and sleazy old men in Spain passing comment, plus ça change...

I don’t know. We don’t know what the complaint entails. One would hope that it would be dismissed out of hand if it was obviously malicious. Presumably that is what the phone call is for?

It’s probably just about optics but people would be blaming SS if they didn’t take the complaint seriously. Historically , SS are always damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Blamed for being interfering or blamed for not doing enough. They can never win!

I suspect 15/16 year olds will run into more weirdos online than on any trip.

For some reason this is ok .🤷‍♀️

I think it’s generated an interesting debate, I don’t think we give teens enough freedom and have over recent years really rolled back on it. My dd is a few months older but in the same year group and has been away in the UK with YHA this summer, we wouldn’t have finances for inter rail, but I can’t see it being an unreasonable risk.

very few places will allow under 18s to book accommodation and lots of places put restrictions on them so it’s not actually that easy to plan a trip away.

DD and her mates have tickets to a local music festival this weekend and when they arrived the venue stated they had to be with an over 18 and each adult could not have responsibility for more than 3 of them, the security were very rude. I think teens are really caught between having freedom and being restricted and treated like grown adults in some situations and like young children in others.

Would it be okay to go away on holiday and leave a 15 year old unattended at home for three weeks? In the eyes of social services that is. I would have assumed that was a definitely safeguarding issue that a school would be obliged to raise?

Glad there's a thread about this. Sad to see how many over anxious parents there are. Including op @ImAFemaleVersionOfRoyKeane.

She says :

"I just felt sick – absolutely sick. Then I was cross. I was very, very cross. It was just so extraordinary. I was in a parallel universe where they were actually taking this seriously. I have broken no law and nothing about allowing my child to travel around Europe is neglectful.”

I too would be very very cross. Negligent? Or was it neglectful? Oh purlease.

I have full sympathy with Kirsty here, I think she makes decent points and that the infantilisation of teenagers is contributing to anxiety and mental health problems as a whole.

However if my working class kid went on holiday without adult supervision then i imagine school and social services would take a very dim view. so from that perspective I’m somewhat relieved that she isn’t sheltered from societal pressure even if that pressure is misjudged.

Would it be okay to go away on holiday and leave a 15 year old unattended at home for three weeks?
But he wasn't unattended. He wasn't solo trekking.

Just wondering if a 15 year old would actually be able to book hotel rooms etc in some countries while being legally a minor. Sometimes it's better just to wait a few days and get to an age where all these things are easier?

I did a 4 hour airport run at 4am this morning for DD and one of her best friends. Waved them off without a backward glance as they're both so sensible but will admit that I was relieved when she text to say that they'd landed. They've booked a decent hotel, transfers, and have got pre loaded Monzo cards as well as good travel insurance and they've got each other's important numbers in their phones in cases of emergency.

I think any travelling is a positive especially if they're sensible. If it was my youngest, I'd be having kittens as she's just very disorganised at the best of times, the sort that would lost their passport on the plane.

I doubt he and friend were staying in multi-bed dorms with much older people. As long as sensible, going from one pre-booked hotel to another would be ok at that age if known to be trustworthy. I assume KA’s kid has the budget.

One of my DCs is 18 and went travelling this summer as did loads of people they knew. Out of all of them I know of only two who stayed in hostels, everyone else did hotels or apartments (inc mine). The general view was that hostels were “dodgy”. I wouldn’t be keen on a mixed dorm with strangers but I think they are a good way of seeing the world and meeting people as long as are able to be careful about personal boundaries and I thought the general dismissal by 18 year olds was a shame.

To keep infantilising children, (many are mature enough to go travelling, or Reading festival post GCSE's) but then go further - imply that's a crime, safeguarding issue, neglect or negligent, is a step far too far.

She was very independent very early on - I expect her son takes after her.
I'm an enormous fan of hers.
But Kirstie - I'd rather you were mortified and inconvenienced that social services don't investigate this stuff.
There's peer reviewed research out there that shows wealthy middle class educated families can be just as neglectful but get away with it.
So I'm on the safeguarding side every time - for the kids who aren't safe.

This was instigated by the cult around JK Rowling
Allsopp tweeted in support of trans rights some time ago and Rowling retweeted it with some criticisms. Allsopp noticed that Rowlings followers were very abusive and piled into her profile causing her to shut it down for a week.
This had been going on for a while.

I suspect that they had all of their travel routes booked in advanced and stayed with family and friends and were in regular contact with their parents by WhatsApp but that is pure speculation on my part!

I don’t imagine for a moment that there was any neglect or extreme risk involved. Plus KA’s sons would be used to ski trips, school trips and travelling around Europe on holidays.

But SS have been put in the spotlight and they have to be seen to be carrying out their job professionally, or else they will be accused of favouring the rich and famous.

And from their perspective, to be fair, they probably come across neglect at every level of society.

To be fair, I think there was plenty of abuse going on in the other direction too. Didn’t JKR suffer awful death threats?

Really?

What would the actual safeguarding issue be?

Left without food, fuel, no way of contacting someone in emergencies, no one hearing or seeing the child for the full 3 weeks?

Yes

But with food, emergency contacts, being with someone else (as the boy was with a friend/probably staying with family) - how would this be a safeguarding issue?

Problem is, most posters on this site do not know what 'safeguarding issues' actually are. Hence people post nonsense like this.

Completely up to Kirstie and her partner.

My 9 year old has been interrailing twice and can navigate a foreign public transport system and already has basic french to get by. I imagine Kirsty has exposed her children to similar cultural experiences and therefore her son is competent and confident to stretch his wings.

There are a number of kids I know who are a similar age who have never had a sleepover, never been to a city and are more confident birthing a lamb.

Each to their own. Leave Kirstie alone.

Completely up to Kirstie and her partner.

My 9 year old has been interrailing twice and can navigate a foreign public transport system and already has basic french to get by. I imagine Kirsty has exposed her children to similar cultural experiences and therefore her son is competent and confident to stretch his wings.

There are a number of kids I know who are a similar age who have never had a sleepover, never been to a city and are more confident birthing a lamb.

Each to their own. Leave Kirstie alone.

Well you got away with it. But what if you hadn’t? There’s an element of luck separating two outcomes.

There's an element of luck if you happen to be 20 rather that 14/15 as well. A streetwise 15 year old is probably in less danger than a 20 year old who has been wrapped in cotton wool with helicopter parents

What?! Nothing about the post you responded to has any of that about it.

Way, way over defensive. Is it very important to you that people must be envious of you? Might want to consider therapy.

' bint' is a revolting, racist, misogynist term and you really come across extremely badly jsyk. Fulfilling all those stereotypes of the unpleasnt rich person.

Oh, and finanicially quite comfy here, thanks. Just not a jerk.