Kids allowed to roam all over visiting house ?

[LizzeyBenett]

So just an observation but it really annoyed me and honestly I was surprised . We recently had our first baby and as a result have had a lot of visitors friends and family and of course people Have brought their kids along that's all fine . But any children that have been in my home recently have literally been allowed to roam around the house by their parents with not an eye batted . Two of them wandered off up stairs to our bedroom again parents didn't see anything wrong with it another was let come in and out the front door multiple times and knock on it in repeatedly in process while the baby was trying to sleep in the next room and another came into the living room and switched on everything they could touch . Is this normal ? AIBU ? I just can't imagine letting my kids roam around someone's house I'm visiting touch whatever they want and make as much noise as they want ? Surely parents have to have some control and manners on their kids ?

The fact is Wingedharpy, that not everyone wants to childproof their home for other people's kids, why should you? I am currently in the process of teaching my great grandson not to touch the chess set which he finds very tempting every time he comes to visit. I know it's a temptation, but kids need to learn, and moving anything breakable out of their reach, is not only a pain, but doesn't teach them anything. His Mum, spent a lot of time with me when she was little, and knows what's expected, so polices him accordingly. There's no way that I would allow anyone's child to rampage through my home, if the parents don't police them, I do it myself, and then don't invite those people back, as they obviously don't give a shit about how their kids behave, and it's not my job to teach the kids or their parents how to behave.

You could have politely asked for them not to go in bedrooms or knock on the door. I'm guessing the coming in and out and knocking on the door was like a repetitive toddler game.

I thought I was a fairly soft parent but there is no way I would tolerate this - from my children or anyone else's

With mine - at toddler age I would follow around, shutting doors and distracting/removing them from the various stuff - cue tantrums and dealing with that - often solved by leaving. I hated visiting and always kept it short because it was so stressful. Older children were clearly briefed on expected behaviours in other people's homes.

If someone was visiting me I would keep the stairgate across the bottom step even when older children were there and would tell my children beforehand that no-one went upstairs. If I saw one trying/ could hear them I would send them downstairs and reinforce this.

I had two incidents where children got upstairs into bedrooms and managed to cause absolute havoc before I got to them. It is amazing how much damage a child can do when they think destroying things is a game.

Those families were never invited again. In fact I suggested they leave immediately as I was very cross.

Insanely bad manners. Parents should bring stuff to keep their kids amused but it wouldn't hurt to have a stash of something if you are having a lot of visitors to see a newborn.

We had visitors once who commented in an amused tone when I queried where she was and if she was ok that their child was "a bit light-fingered" when she wandered off and it was ignored. Have firmly locked doors ever since and discouraged anything other than essential visits.

I have been a parent for 14 years and still agree with the OP that these kids are odd and their parents should have sorted out their nosey annoying behavior

No, it isn't normal. It is the parents faults though.

At 14??? Any kid going through bedrooms at that age isn't just bored or curious, they're probably looking for something they can nick.

Jesus what kind of 14 year olds do you know? 😅

Well I'm sure she wouldn't nick anything, but I did wonder if she was nosying into anything. As far as I know she didn't open any drawers or cupboards in my room, but later on I found she had left me a little post-it note message in a cupboard in the hall! 😅

Myself at that age. My friends. My kids' friends. Lots done have a very well developed moral code at that age.

Bit harsh saying I shouldn’t have kids ffs! If you read what I said… I said any items I didn’t want found… toys or medication were out of reach.
It isn’t ideal and I’m not saying that’s what they did the whole time, but they were upstairs so if they went in our rooms so be it. Who keeps an eye on their kids 24/7 in their own home? They’re not babies now!

Your house your rules. And you can express this in a friendly and firm way to the children in the hearing of their parents.

'the toys are downstairs so we'll stay down here'

'in this house the visitors stay downstairs '

'no, we don't wander off exploring in somebody else's house'

YANBU to think it is neither 'normal' nor acceptable, but, as others have pointed out, YABU not to have told them that if their parents have no manners.

@SwishMyCape has given some ideas if you find that difficult.

Ugh I had friends who would let their kids do this and I hated it and made it known. I would say to the kids in a polite way if the door is closed to a room they shouldn't go in, they asked why in front of my friends (seemed like this was brand new info they had never heard) and I told them it's rude to go into closed rooms in someone else's house without asking.
I have 3 DC and do not allow this behaviour at all...because it's super rude!