Kids allowed to roam all over visiting house ?

[LizzeyBenett]

So just an observation but it really annoyed me and honestly I was surprised . We recently had our first baby and as a result have had a lot of visitors friends and family and of course people Have brought their kids along that's all fine . But any children that have been in my home recently have literally been allowed to roam around the house by their parents with not an eye batted . Two of them wandered off up stairs to our bedroom again parents didn't see anything wrong with it another was let come in and out the front door multiple times and knock on it in repeatedly in process while the baby was trying to sleep in the next room and another came into the living room and switched on everything they could touch . Is this normal ? AIBU ? I just can't imagine letting my kids roam around someone's house I'm visiting touch whatever they want and make as much noise as they want ? Surely parents have to have some control and manners on their kids ?

Are you fucking joking?

I don't have children, therefore I don't have a childproofed house.

Short of maybe putting the loo cleaner out of the way, I expect people with children, dogs etc to control them themselves, it's not my job.

Sounds like you would spend hours preparing for your friends with kids to pop over for a coffee? That seems mad to me, especially getting child locks if you don’t have children!

Did you tell her to get out?

No I didn't want to tell her off as I see them so seldom - and I wondered if it was something they all did in their circle. I think I just said something like, oh there you are - come downstairs, we're going to ... whatever and then not long after that her parents came. But do you think it's odd behaviour?

Sorry but no way. Kids also need boundaries and to hear the word no and to learn respect. Not a hope in hell I’d let my DD behave like that at any age. I’d maybe ask hosts if I could have a wander with her so she didn’t feel like she was missing something (like a magic room of toys for example), because I think that’s what younger ones somethings are looking for. But I’d keep mine in sight, and make sure she had something to do or someone entertaining her and I always have. Oh and FWIW, despite my feelings on boundaries/respect/saying no, I say yes an awful lot and I’m pretty gentle too.

It’s very odd behaviour, and frankly whatever they do in their circle is irrelevant.
It’s just as unacceptable whether all their mates do it or not!

I’ve known visiting DC try and go upstairs but a firm “stay down here please” has worked and I don’t care what their parents think if they’re not watching them properly. The one time someone got past me with their child to “play” in DD’s room as I was with the newborn and DH was making tea, we had a house full, I’ve refused to have them over again.

The patronising comments suggesting you’re clueless and will learn not to care say more about the posters than you. It’s perfectly normal to have standards of decency in your home, whatever age your child is.

I always shout “not up the stairs” because I don’t like kids upstairs. Some people just flop
on your sofa and allow their kids to run feral. They seem to come to my house and end up never leaving - having two meals whilst I’m trying to hint about them leaving.

This is a good suggestion.

Very. It's fucking rude and a violation of your privacy. I'd have told her in no uncertain terms that upstairs was private and to get out immediately.

I’d maybe ask hosts if I could have a wander with her so she didn’t feel like she was missing something (like a magic room of toys for example)
But that’s equally rude? I’d be annoyed if you asked to bring your dd on a tour of my house to reassure her that her fomo was unjustified.
Unbelievable.

I wouldn't let my kids do that and I wouldn't let visiting kids do it in my house. I'd have said something. Is there a reason you stayed quiet? "Can you make sure the kids stay in this room please as I've left stuff out that I don't want them playing with in other rooms, thank you"

Stop providing meals to people you don’t want to stay.

Stop hinting! “Thanks so much for coming, it’s time for us to x y z so I’ll see you out and let’s meet up again soon”.

Not normal and very rude.

I am not surprised at the amount of feral parents in this country. Adults with no manners breed brats with no manners.

Depends a little on age. When mine were about 18months - 2 years they were wanderers. I'd have to give them my full attention to prevent it. So I'd usually check with my host what was ok. Lots of places I just wouldn't take them at that age because they would wander.

A friend of mine had had child who is hard work by nature. He's 7 and he still wanders everywhere. But she also had two younger ones, if she was monitoring the eldest she wouldn't be watching them or able to ever chat to anyone. When he comes, I lock the bottom stair gate and put furniture in front of things i don't want him to access. I also hide the TV remote as he simply won't be told no.

Oh please. You sound exactly like these useless parents who teach their kids no manners. Yanbu op, this is so damn rude and I would absolutely say something.

She sounds like someone who should entertain in her own home only, until she has a handle on her kid’s behaviour.
Imagine bringing a 7 year old who “won’t be told no” to run amok in someone else’s home?!

Agreed. When mine were small, I remember other parents telling their DC off if they just asked for something! The done thing was to wait to be offered something, but we would always say ‘ of course you can have a biscuit/get the Lego out’ etc. Not one allowed their DC to go wandering around the house or helping themselves to snacks!

See OP, it's YOUR fault, you just haven't put in enough effort prior to these visits, shame on you OP, put that new baby down and go fit child locks and do a huge declutter. 🙄

But my own kids need feeding so it’s hard not to? I’m like - errr it’s teatime now. Yesterday I didn’t cook because I didn’t want to encourage a guest to stay and ended up providing a snack because my kids were going swimming and needed something before they went. I was like “right time for us to get ready to go out…”

Bloody hell.

😅😅
I laugh because rooting in NZ has a different meaning!

It says as much about your visitors parenting style as the children.

They are a product of it.