Kids allowed to roam all over visiting house ?

[LizzeyBenett]

So just an observation but it really annoyed me and honestly I was surprised . We recently had our first baby and as a result have had a lot of visitors friends and family and of course people Have brought their kids along that's all fine . But any children that have been in my home recently have literally been allowed to roam around the house by their parents with not an eye batted . Two of them wandered off up stairs to our bedroom again parents didn't see anything wrong with it another was let come in and out the front door multiple times and knock on it in repeatedly in process while the baby was trying to sleep in the next room and another came into the living room and switched on everything they could touch . Is this normal ? AIBU ? I just can't imagine letting my kids roam around someone's house I'm visiting touch whatever they want and make as much noise as they want ? Surely parents have to have some control and manners on their kids ?

My DB and SIL made a very rare visit to my house with their two DS aged 7 and 9. They didn't turn a hair or say a thing when the boys rampaged up and down the stairs, in and out of rooms, kicking things and breaking an ornament. In fact SIL glared at me as though the breakage was my fault for actually leaving it where her DS could break it. No apologies, nothing mentioned. We were always expected to go to them, they never put themselves out to visit us. I am glad after that. It is like the whole world has to revolve round keeping her little darlings amused.

This is what kids are like without adult intervention, certainly. Don't you feel any responsibility to teach them how to behave?

Hear hear. People who centre children's feelings all the time raise horrible kids, plus it says a lot about themselves.

I disagree, make sure breakables are out of harm's reach but wander around someone's house? That's a no!

It’s rude . I would tell my kids off.
my friend recently invited kids with older siblings for play date, she said the older kids ran away upstairs and things had been pulled out of bedroom drawers! 😂

Congratulations on your new baby OP.

Welcome to the weird world of parenting other people’s children. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣

You’ll find that there are a few lazy parents who won’t bother to actually parent their children effectively or those who don’t believe in setting rules and boundaries, so I happily do it for them and will firmly tell little Johnny that “no, we don’t do that in this house”. And if they continue to be a pain in the arse, you step up and tell them you’ve had enough and they need to go home now.

Don’t be afraid to set your own boundaries, especially with other family members, who can be the worst for taking the piss. You’re the Mammy now!!

Soft play is a minefield with some parents blatantly ignoring their children to spend time on their phones or chatting to their mates. I will step in and tell another child off if they’re upsetting my kid and if the parent says anything, I’m ready to point out that I wouldn’t have had to intervene if they’ve been actively parenting their child. When they realise that you’ll take no shit, they always back down. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No chance; anyone who lets their kids behave like this doesn’t get invited back.

The kids usually end up as horrors, so cut your losses early on.

‘Oh thanks for the invite to pop in, but I’d much rather have an adult catchup in the pub’

My eldest is almost 5 and I agree with op 🤷‍♀️ I don’t want other peoples children in my bedroom! They can be curious at home lol

I wouldn't let my son do this but the kids were probably bored.

So what if they were? It's ok for kids to be bored sometimes. They can still be told to sit down quietly.

No it's not normal.

My kids are almost grown up and we had literally hundreds of their friends through the house when they were younger, and I only came across two families who's children behaved like this. It's really inappropriate. One family were lovely and wonderful hosts and just had an utterly different approach, the other parents were utterly overwhelmed and not coping well at all.

Not quite the same but last year 2 of my relatives who were in their early teens visited. It was a bit boring for them as I am old and quite boring, and their parents were only supposed to be 2 hours tops, but were at least twice that. Also they had forgotten to bring their tablets/phones - so we watched tv and had some snacks etc. But then I saw one was missing and when I went to see where she was, she was upstairs in my bedroom. I didn't say anything to her or to her parents as I see them so seldom, but I didn't like it. She had apparently been in all the bedrooms. I was surprised a 14 year old did this, but maybe it's what they do now.

Can I just say in my defence dear Mumsnetters, ALL the children who visited me were staying over.
I never had children dropping in for a flying visit.
I think that makes a difference.

@Wingedharpy no I still wouldn't be OK with it! 🤣

No it's fucking rude of your guests to allow their kids to run riot. They are shit parents.

Plus if they injure themselves whilst unsupervised, you are potentially liable

Well I’m five years in and I still can’t stand it when children do this. Even for play dates ( as opposed to adult centric visits) I expect the children to play in Dc bedroom or downstairs not run through the house, our bedroom, roll on bed in spare bedroom, open bathroom cupboards etc. They don’t follow this though.

Only if they are allowed to be like this. My children wouldn't have done it and I'd have had no qualms in telling any child trying that behaviour in my house to stop.

Hang on, she invited her kid’s friends older siblings as well? Why?

No. It's what kids have been allowed to do

Not normal. I wouldn’t allow my children to do this.

I do. But I do find both children and parents look at me as if I have dead bodies stashed in other rooms or something.

I’ve often had parents trying to go upstairs “to check on their dc.” Some times you just give in but it does make me feel like I have to haul off all my underwear drying on thd heated towel rail in the bathtoom etc before people come which irritates me, as I feel as though these areas should be sacrosanct.

No, that’s extremely poor manners and shit lack of parenting on your friends’ behalf. Only ok to go into dc’s room if on a play date/sleepover.

I disagree.

Mine have never done this. If visiting they stay in the room with the hosts and politely ask to use the bathroom if needed.

It's also not something I would ever allow in my home.

Congratulations on the new baby OP but time to parent other people's kids if your friends don't do it when in your home.

Not normal behaviour at all.
I can't imagine anyone I know with children allowing that or tolerating it for a minute in their home.
Your boundaries aren't great, most people would stop that very firmly.
Very rude behaviour....from the adults.
The children know no better, clearly.

I found two children I didn't know that well wandering in and out of our bedroom on our wedding day. By all means have a nosey around the communal areas of the house but not in private areas!